My BIL is having a destination wedding and in addition to that they are having a party prior to the wedding to celebrate. Since our daughter's 2nd birthday is in July we asked that they did it any other weekend but the weekend of her birthday and they agreed. I just got a phone call that they have decided to have it that weekend anyway and whats worse on her birthday. Their explanation for this, they want to see her on her birthday. Unfortunately I have already begun planning her party and quite frankly, don't want to change our plans, I feel like this is outright rude shows a total disregard for peoples plans and feelings...am I being crazy or am I justified for not wanting to go to this party in addition to their wedding at the beginning of August?
2007-04-24 14:11:37 · 13 answers · asked by Mommy to One 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think you should continue to plan for your daughter's 2nd birthday.
She will only get 1 birthday a year, and only will turn 2 once.
This is only a pre-wedding party they are throwing, not the real deal; therefore, I don't see the big deal in missing it. Especially when it is rude to plan a day, on a day you requested (with a good excuse doing so) to not do. Then have them justify it as a day to see her, which....is abit ignorant excuse as they still can see her on her birthday anyways (with or without a wedding party).
Your daughter's day is more important than a prior wedding party. Can't believe people think you should drop your plans for your own daughter, for someone who knew way in advance and AGREED to it, to think they can plan on someone else's birthday, knowing this day means so much to you (and your daughter, for those who think she won't remember. We'll, I would be mad if I had my 2nd birthday at some one else's event selfishly like that written in my baby book).
The wedding itself, that is only your choice if you want to attend. I haven't read your other "bride from hell" yet as other's have mentioned (which I will get to next), but seems as there is a problem beyond just this. If you don't feel comfortable to go, then don't go. Send a card with your congrats is well enough if there is tension already.
2007-04-24 18:32:13 · answer #1 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
You are just determined to find something wrong with this wedding, aren't you? You can't be happy for your brother in law and his new wife, you have to be miserable.
My brother got MARRIED on my daughter's 4th birthday, and I had a 6 week old baby at the time. She's 17 now, and thinks it's kind of cool. He always sends her a birthday card, because he says he'll never forget her birthday, since it's his wedding anniversary.
Can I tell you something here? Your daughter isn't going to remember that her uncle and aunt had an engagement party/get together/whatever on her 2ND BIRTHDAY!!!! She's 2 years old!! She's not going to remember what she got, who was there, anything. Why don't you have the family get together an hour or so before the bigger party and the other guests show up, and celebrate your daughter's b'day with the family. Have whatever other party you were going to have the following weekend, or the next day.
You are NOT JUSTIFIED in not wanting to go to either the wedding or this party. This is your husband's BROTHER you're talking about here. I don't know what his fiancee has done to you, obviously you've got a burr up your butt about something regarding her, or him. You need to shut up, do what your husband wants to do regarding HIS BROTHER'S wedding and the associated parties, grow up, and start acting like an adult here. Quit acting like a spoiled little brat! You are really digging yourself into a good sized hole here, and you may not be able to get out of it.
2007-04-24 15:11:40 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
If I'm reading this correctly, you are upset that your BIL has planned a wedding celebration party (not the actual wedding) on your daughter's b-day. You are completely overreacting. I'm sure you have not planned an entire party nor sent out invitations to a 2 year old's July birthday party in April. Your daughter is not going to know the difference if her birthday party is not exactly on her "birthday". Your the one having the problem with it. (I have a nephew; his 2nd birthday party was two weeks late to accomodate family and he never knew the difference. He just turned 5 and knew that his birthday party was being held two weeks before his actual b-day in order to have an ailing great grandparent attend. He could have cared less; he was just happy people were there.)
An adult celebration for a wedding is much more difficult to plan than a birthday party for a two year old. In order for guests to attend (and most probably won't be going to the destination wedding but still want to celebrate), this might have been the only or most logical weekend to for him to have it. Be the bigger person and plan your daughter's party for a different weekend, or, if family will be in town for the wedding celebration that normally would not be able to attend your daughter's party, hold it the afternoon after your BIL's party and invite them to join. Do ask that your daughter be recognized at the party with everyone singing and a small cake. I'm sure your BIL will be more than happy to oblige. Good luck.
2007-04-24 14:43:20 · answer #3 · answered by stseukn 5 · 3⤊ 3⤋
I was wondering if this was going to be about the wedding again lol. The other posters have said pretty much what I wanted to say except this. Just don't go. Don't make up any excuses right now. Just get "sick" before your flight and let your husband go off without you. I understand you had plans but family events--not a 2 year olds birthday--often supersede our plans. I had to attend my brother's wedding 2 weeks before I took the comprehensive exams for my Master's degree. I didn't say oh can't you just wait till I'm done with this thing as that would have been rude. Which is what you are being right now trying to get justification for bad behavior.
2007-04-24 15:18:57 · answer #4 · answered by indydst8 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think you are overreacting. Yes, your daughter's birthday is important; but so is you BIL's wedding. Your daugther will have many more birthdays in her life, but hopefully your BIL will only marry once. Secondly, your in-laws are going to be attending your BIL wedding over your daughter's birthday. A wedding is much more important then a birthday.
Don't get upset, just have your daughter's party on another day. Her birthday isn't until July, so why are you planning now. A birthday party can be planned in 2 weeks, a wedding needs to be planned months or even years in advance.
Lighten up, let your daughter get dressed up and play flower girl on her birthday, take pictures and throw her a party the following weekend.
2007-04-24 14:26:23 · answer #5 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Continue with your plans but you can not expect your Bil to change his plans this is his and fiancee special day they had already planned it and probably invited people to come and it might be a great inconvience for them as well if you want to attend the party have something special for your daughter and ask them would it be possible to acknowledge your daughter's birthday and sing happy birthday to her and you can give her your gift that could be part one of her birthday party....
2007-04-24 14:21:12 · answer #6 · answered by crystal_clear_0000 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I think that you are completely justified in not going to the party as well as the wedding. They knew about your daughter's birthday party and they chose to make it that weekend as well. I would talk to your husband and let him know how you feel and then sit down and have a serious talk with the bride who seems to be causing many problems.
2007-04-24 14:53:10 · answer #7 · answered by Krystal A 3 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Judging by your previous question (Bride from Hell...) and this one, it is apparent that you are totally against this wedding and will not be happy one way or another. I understand that it comes at a difficult time, but I'm sure they aren't planning their wedding to spite you in any way. If there are truely this many scheduling issues, drop out of the wedding and send a nice gift instead.
2007-04-24 14:20:09 · answer #8 · answered by terasa425 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Are you for real? Your daughter is 2! Sorry, but her Bday is not that big a deal.
Try thinking more positive... go to the BIL party and have the Bday party another day. Not a big deal. Dont whine about it.
2007-04-24 17:13:18 · answer #9 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
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2015-07-29 03:31:42 · answer #10 · answered by Albert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋