gettin wed plz help!?

Question

my boyf proposed to me and i'm over the moon, the only problem is over bridesmaids etc. my sisters have daughters and want them to be bridesmaids-i don't want 6 little kids following me up the ailse. all i want is my best friend as a bridesmaid as i've got 3 sisters and if i choose one of them it'll cause family problems as my dad ALWAYS sides with my older sister-everyone has noticed. i've tried telling them what i want but they aren't listening. how can i get them to see things my way. it's our day and we should have it our way. should we run away and get married on our own?

Answer 1

It's YOUR day....have what YOU want and not what everyone else wants. Congratulations - have a happy life together (\(*:*)

Answer 2

Tell them in the nicest way possible that its YOUR wedding, and as such, you have final say in what, who, when, where and why. You are right -- you do not need a bunch of little ones going up the aisle, unless they're flower girls. Bride's Maids are ADULTS with adult responsibilities. If you want to have more than your Maid of Honor (your friend) then you pick other friends to be your maids...and leave your sisters out of it, since it'll only cause trouble.

If this is only the beginning, then maybe an elopement might be the best answer, but that might also result in your entire family never speaking to you again, so be prepared for the repercussions.

Also, the more YOU and your fiance pay for, the less say the rest of your family will be able to have. So my other piece of advice is to pay 100% of the wedding, and that way your family has no blackmail leverage.

Good luck....you're going to need it.

Answer 3

im having the same problem. I only got married a month ago! Plan to get married next year or year after. My sisters, nieces and even sister in law have informed me that they are bridesmaids! Thats 7 for me and of course my little girl. Im gonna have to have a serious chat with them when I do make the arrangements. After all Its my day and I only want one or two. You should do the same. Just tell them and say you dont want anymore said about it. And tell them not to ruin the day for you by causing arguements. If you let them get their way they will only walk all over you. You have got to be assertive. Good luck!

Answer 4

Tell your family its your wedding not THEIR wedding,tell them to stop arguments your having no family as bridesmaids.
If they dont understand then thats their problem.
Im getting married in September,im only having 2 bridesmaids,my sister-in-law and my friend(i have 2 sister-in-law's 2 nephews and a niece),none of my cousins are invited to the daytime,,my mum was abit concerned because it wouldn't look good for her and her sisters,i told my mum its my wedding and if they dont like it then its tough.
Stand your ground,dont let other people tell you what to do.
I went to a wedding in Scotland last week,my boyfriends brother was getting married.
His girl had 4 bridesmaids coz as with you she didnt know what to do,she only wanted her man's 2 daughters but her sisters stepped in wanting to be bridesmaids.
Instead of saying no she said ok(to keep the peace).
On the day the older bridesmaids(the brides 2 sisters) were more concerned with how they looked than the bride that the bride had to get my boyfriends mum to help her(she doesnt have a mum).
My boyfriends mum hit the roof and gave the older bridesmaids a mouthful,they were to busy sorting themselves out.
Dont put yourself in this position.
Tell your family its your way or you will call the wedding off or go away and get married.
Weddings are stressful enough without every fool trying to get in the wedding party.
And lets face it,they aren't wanting to be in the wedding party for you,,they want it for themselves coz it shouldnt really matter who the bridesmaids are,,if they bride wants them then thats what should matter.

Answer 5

Congratulations on getting engaged! :-)

Hun, this is totally your wedding and to be honest, I think your sisters are being cheeky by expressing an opinion on wanting their daughters to be bridesmaids. It's not their wedding! I'm being a bridesmaid for someone in July, and damn it, I just keep my mouth shut and wait for her to tell me what she wants!

I don't blame you about not wanting kids following you down the aisle...

It makes me angry when people think they have the right to control the most special day of your life. I can understand if your sisters would be a little hurt if you didn't choose them as bridesmaids, but if you explained it sensitively, they have to accept your wishes.

If you've protested and they aren't listening, I think you have two choices.

1. Sit all your sisters down together and say once and for all you only want one bridesmaid. Explain that you just prefer a simple wedding, where you're not surrounded by about 10 other people in your photos. Try to be sensitive of their feelings though. You could always mention the cost of the dresses - you don't want to pay for more than one bridesmaid dress. Be firm. Get upset if you have to. In fact, tell them all exactly how you feel. Tell them that you feel bad because you can't please everyone and you just want to do it your way without causing any offence.

or

2. If your family are really being bullish about it, either snap and put your foot down, regardless of their feelings.... or yes, if it would make you happiest, go and get married on your own!

Oh, and by the way I do NOT think you should compromise either! No way! Don't have flower girls to keep your sisters happy. Not to be rude, but it's their fault for being presumptous! You are the queen on your wedding day - it's the one day in your life where everything should go the way you and your future husband want it to go.

You just really, really have to do what's right for you, and if that means having a private wedding where your family aren't invited then go for it.

Personally, if I got married, I'd run off with my boyfriend and avoid all the hassle! Lol!

xx Emmie

Answer 6

congratulations sweetie! i know what you are going thru, from the moment my man slipped the engagement ring on my finger right up to just before i walked down the aisle my life was filled with stress from everyone wanting to do it their way. no amount of discussion helped and in hindsight if i had to do it again i would elope. seriously.
but before you do that try a few compromises.
the six little girls - of course you don't want them for your bridesmaids but you could use them in different 'jobs'.
are you having a flowergirl[s]? if so that would take care of one or two.
are you having candlelighters? if so that would take care of two.
are you having a ringbearer? doesnt' have to be a boy, so, if you have no little guy in mind, that takes care of another girl.
choose the eldest of the six to be a junior bridesmaid, that takes care of all six kids.
if that doesn't work for you then how about giving them jobs outside the wedding party. as an example you don't say how old the kids are, but if by chance one is ten or older she could be placed at the guest book table, asking guests to add their names to the book.
are you honoring your female guests with a flower as they come into the church? if so, you could place the rest of the girls at the door with baskets of flowers, [mums and carnations are usually quite inexpensive], offering s flower to each of the ladies as they come in. now, this idea came up when we were married, i didnt want my two bratty cousins in hte wedding party and all hell broke loose. so i decided it was worth the little bit of additional expense to set up the girls with flowers for our guests! worked like a charm, the kids loved getting dressed up and being seen BEFORE the bride was even seen!
failing all this sweetie perhaps you should think of eloping. you can find all sorts of pretty little places to go to, and it would save you all sorts of 'hell' as well as a great deal of money!
once you have made your choices, you have to be firm and stick with them. if they see you waver on anything they will never give up!
keep us posted and let us know how you do!
and remember, the wedding, the gown, the reception, isn't the point of it all. the point of it all is that two very special people have found each other and committed their love to one another. may your marriage be filled with joy and happiness!

Answer 7

It's YOUR wedding for goodness sakes! Try to tell your sisters that you want them for your bridesmaids one more time. Maybe suggest that their daughters could be flower girls instead! If they still don't listen to you find somebody else. like, other friends or somebody at your work. Like you said, you could always elope, but I don't believe in eloping. I would want pictures and to get to walk down the isle with all my family and friends beside me in the pews. Try to work out a wedding. I bet you'll find somebody else for your bridesmaids.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

Congrats! Since you and your bf are paying for the wedding, you have the wedding your way. It would be nice to have just your best friend as a bridesmaid, don't listen to all the drama, just be polite about it, don't get into fights.

Answer 9

Its your wedding and its your life and your special day so do wat you feel is right! Its probably better that you chose someone like your best friend to be you braidsmaid coz then it wont cause any family problems or conflict etc! just tell you family you want them to chill relax and enjoy the wedding without the pressures of the braidesmaid role thats why you chose you friend! always turn it around and make out that you are doing it for them! Be clever!
God Luck and have a great wedding! make sure it turns out the way you want it!

Answer 10

OK Calm down little sister! lol
everyone is excited you are getting married!
Everyone wants to feel special, to YOU.
The way to not have anyone feel special is for you to run off!
Its hard to decide( besides your best friend) who gets to stand with you.
3 sisters? fine Ask them to choose among themselves and she can be a bridesmaid. no kids.
Like I said its your special day and you are popular. With popularity comes responsibility
Good luck and congrats!

Answer 11

Hunny its your wedding day and in the end you have what you want.. tell them you have chosen only your best friend to avoid fights they are grown women and should understand. i have seen friends in tears over these situations and its not worth it. if you do something you dont want just to please your sisters you will regret it.. you hopefully only do this once in your life and it should be exactly the way you want it.. if they get upset who cares they will get over it and when they see their little sister getting married on the day all of what they may have beeen feling will disappear and they will just be full of joy and happiness for you! good luck just remember have it exactly the way you want it dont let ne one talk you into or out of things its your day and it should be magical just the way you planned.. x