I know he loves me, and we talk everyday, but i don't know how he will take the news that i want to wait until my 20s to get married. I am just scared of hurting him, but don't want to jump into anything. Should I jump, or walk?
2007-04-24 13:12:31 · 30 answers · asked by crazybitch_troy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
that would be now not know. Just tell him directly and if he loves you enough to marry he will respect your decision.
2007-04-24 13:22:16 · answer #1 · answered by Parercut Faint 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, to be perfectly simple; just tell him.
You are young. It may not feel like it, but you have an awful amount of years left in you, so saying I want to wait a little bit compared to a lifetime of commitment should not be too much of a problem.
If it does become a problem, its better to sort it out now before you get married. Believe me when I say this; it should not be a problem under any circumstance to wait until your 20. I can only think of one reason waiting should be a problem and that is that he will be passing on.
2007-04-24 20:32:22 · answer #2 · answered by esourcemagazine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, DO NOT DUCK AND DODGE this issue!!!! This is something that should be spoken openly. Something like this should not cause worrying, as the two of you are close enough to marry, than talking should not be a problem. One point I will HIGHLY stess upon my daughter is to NEVER marry for ANY reason other than SHE wants to. Don't be 'evil' in your way of letting him know, just make him understand that it's foolish to take a step like this when you or him are kinda doubting the time. Besides, I have NEVER understood why ANYBODY would want to marry young. Not one good reason to do so...well, except for money.
2007-04-24 20:31:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him that you love him and want to get married but you would like to wait until you are 20. tell him it has nothing to do with him, just your personal beliefs. depending on how old you are you can tell him it will take 2 or 3 years to plan what you want and to raise the funds needed for the wedding
2007-04-26 14:30:07 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay so, as an "ice-breaker" for the subject say, "Honey I was looking at dates for our wedding and I don't think I'm free until (Month/Day/YEAR!!)" (Make sure it is the date you want to get married!!) When he asks you about it, just be honest with him. Be loving, but firm and explain to him that although you do want to get married to him, you want to wait until you're X years old.
If he really loves you, he'll understand, and if he does not understand, don't let him guilt you into marrying him. Remember firm, but loving!!
Hope this helps...Good Luck!!
2007-04-24 21:07:17 · answer #5 · answered by Polly Anna Chuck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a boyfriend & I did the same thing. I told my boyfriend yes when he asked me to marry him & I am going to marry my boyfriend when i am 30 years old so don't worry. i am going to jump in to my marriage when i am ready so i think you should do the samething. If your boyfriend doesn't understand that you want to marry him @ 20 years old then i think you should dump him.
2007-04-24 23:28:11 · answer #6 · answered by lydiajane1983 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say, "I'm really excited to get married, but I'm thinking we should have a longer engagement so we can plan out or life a little more. How about a 2-3 year engagement?"
2007-04-24 20:28:49 · answer #7 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
duh!
Gosh if you can't communicate that to him you sure don't have a good communications established. Good communication is essential to a relationship.
You need to be sure enough of your self and what you want and not be scared of hurting him. Gosh. ......I don't see you even close to being ready to marry.
Please NEVER jump in to a relationship. 50% or marriages fail. Don't start out with the odds against you.
And you might love and adore the man, but you need to be sure of who YOU are and what YOU want out of life. Too many women marry because of romance. Then they live their husband's version of life. Before they know it 25 years have passed and they can't remember who they are.
Take care of you first
2007-04-24 21:42:13 · answer #8 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
depends how far away your 20's are if they are only like a year away cool just say i want to do this right and dont want it to be cheap so i want like a year to save up.. if its a few years away then you are going to have to say i just want a long engagement.. just tell him you really want to wait till your 20 he will understand.. just make sure that you really do want to marry him is it that you want to wait until your 20 or are you unsure if you wannt it at all.. remember marriage is a life long commitment and its not like you can just break up with them and walk away its a lot more involved. just make sure you truely know its what you want oor dont do it at all its not worth it. If it is what you really want congrats and im sure your man will understand if you want to wait a bit good luck!
2007-04-24 20:30:12 · answer #9 · answered by tarlz86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him the URL to this Q in an IM. He'll get the point. Considering you are more comfortable being honest with strangers, perhaps tell him you need to wait until you are 30.
2007-04-24 20:20:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats wrong with just telling him you want ot wait? You shouldnt be scared of that. Your not going to hurt him your STILL going to marry him and he KNOWS that you love him. If he truly loves you he will understand and wont mind.
2007-04-24 20:17:43 · answer #11 · answered by 2 CURIOUS 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋