28 year old seeks opportunity?

Question

So, anyway it's been close to seven years.. I once was a promising engineering student at a top 15 college with a high GPA. At the end of my junior year my parent thought it in my best interest to return home and finish the degree from there. (I thought being a senior in college was a good thing?) As I was saying, the friction I was met with in my home enviornment caused me to drop out of school. I then spent my time working at my family's business. "If your not going to go to school, your going to work.." Uh.. what?! So, yeah, we're well off enough that I'm living comfortably. (comfortably enough to not qualify for grant to send me back to school anyway) Life is good at least. Then one day, my father informs me that he wants me to quit and get a job somewhere else. The next week he gives my brother a raise and promotion. Uhh... what?! I guess I'm not the favorite. When I ask to return to engineering school, he flatly says "I'm not paying for it". Is this some test or something? help

Answer 1

I don't believe we are hearing EVERYTHING That we need to hear here to form a complete opinion (and there most likely are some things you are leaving out that caused YOUR OWN Difficulty in finishing that degree at the time).

Can't blame everything on home life -- and at 28 years of age -- you already should be living on your own, in your own place, taking FULL responsibility for your choices ... and have had AMPLE OPPORTUNITIES in the middle of all these years to even do the LAST year of your Engineering Bachelor's Degree (even if you did it one course at a time!).

I am going to point out that transferring schools (for cost reasons, for reasons of family or other reasons) is something that occurs EVERY DAY -- and this is also NOT an excuse for NOT finishing that degree!

Now ... let me point out here -- at Age 28 -- I already was quite a ways into my Active Duty Military Career, a Long Term Single ... with Parents that were buried quite a few years before that time ... and that is the truth. With Deployments, TDYs, Permanent Changes of Duty Stations, Continuing Military Training/Education ... through all of this -- I was working on MY Graduate Degrees .. and FINISHED Them .. and yes, I paid for those degrees on MY OWN (and I am Female), along with the books, fees, and everything else I needed.

YOU have had quite the BLESSING with your family (and not tough at all!) -- your FATHER has put you on the payroll and carried you all these years ..

ALL I am SURE that he asked was that you put forth a "BEST EFFORT" and EARN (through Hard Work) your salary and benefits -- as well as making sure you had the INCOME to provide for the costs of moving out on your own and paying for the REMAINING Time you needed to finish the degree program!

I think at this point in time, your father is tired .. and yes, WANTING to see you out on your own as a RESPONSIBLE ADULT -- one accepting the FULL BURDEN for your life.

Can I ask this -- are you still living in the house (at no cost?), are you taking advantage of your parents (and eating their food, enjoying the utilities, expecting to be "served" for your every whim?), are you NOT putting forth FULL and TOTAL Effort to EVERY Project that comes your way at work (which means that you show up on time, work HARDER than those around you, and yes, Put in the EXTRA Hours that are needed to make sure the Business is even more successful at this time?), what have you DONE that screams out "I am a TEAM PLAYER -- and yes, I am CONTRIBUTING MY BEST to the TEAM (namely the family) .. and NOT wanting to be a "Burden" on this team at this time?

This is NOT a test .. he WANTs you to BE a FULLY RESPONSIBLE ADULT -- and you are OLD ENOUGH (By a DECADE!) to have to take responsibility for ALL your choices in life -- and that includes NOT blaming others for NOT finishing your Degree by now!

There are plenty of adults your age who have FAMILIES ... are paying all their own bills, supporting their own households, and yes, GOING to COLLEGE and paying for that TOO ... and willing to DO THEIR BEST in EVERY BIT of this Adult Responsibility at the SAME AGE YOU ARE NOW!

Go out, get a NEW JOB, stop complaining, and GO BACK to COLLEGE Part Time (paying for everything YOURSELF) and FINISH that degree -- the "excuses" need to stop.

Answer 2

Ur 28, time to make a path for yourself. Ur dad probably feels he's supported u enough. U live at home, he's paying u. Time to spread ur wings. Ur old enough to take care of ur own educational finances along with everything else.

Answer 3

At 28 you need to pay your own way.By now you should have acareer.He is right.You need to make your own path now.You have had opportunities to finish study engineering.

Answer 4

ultimately you are responsible for you. family can be jerks, but you have it in you to get yourself back on track. yeah, it's a test. maybe not intended from your father, but from life. you will feel better and maybe appreciate it more if you can accomplish your goals without them. get out there and be a grown a$$ man!!