I am in my early 20's and he is in his mid 40's. I am not ready yet but he is. The question is will he leave me if I don't have intercourse with him. I am crazy in love with him. And I don't want to let go of him. Help PleaSSSSSe
2007-04-24 12:12:48 · 27 answers · asked by angle2005star 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The problem isn't whether or not he'll leave you if you don't sleep with him--moreover, the problem is that you're basing your decision to sleep with him on terms other than your own. It is a personal choice when to sleep with someone, and if you decide you're ready for that step, it's a decision that needs to be rooted SOLELY on your own mental/emotional readiness--not what your partner wants. It's not being selfish to pace things so everyone feels comfortable. If you've been together a while and he truly loves you, he will care enough about you to respect your decision. Sit down and talk to him about it, letting him know that it isn't that you don't love him or are asexual, just that you want to be able to fully give yourself to him--emotionally and physically--when you sleep with him, and in order for that to happen, you need to wait until you feel completely comfortable with the idea of having sex. In most cases, you're ready when you no longer find yourself wondering if you are--you just know. It's a level of confidence and trust in both yourself and your relationship.
I'm in my mid-twenties and just recently lost my virginity to my long term boyfriend (early thirties) who had the love, patience, and respect to wait until I was ready--and it made all the difference in the world. If you're uncertain, just know that like so many things, sex--and yourself--are worth waiting for.
2007-04-24 12:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by Ginia 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Love isn't straightforward now and lower back yet while he loves you as much as you adore him then he will wait. He would desire to appreciate you adequate to attend til you're waiting and not tension it!! And while he does you would be attentive to that he's the single you're meant to be with..if he cant then perhaps there are some issues which you adult males would desire to set rapidly till now you bypass to the subsequent step. it is basically the begining. Be solid and robust luck.
2016-12-16 14:35:43 · answer #2 · answered by bremmer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is not a feeling of being accepted and cared for by someone that you also like. It is not excessive phone calls, dates, gifts, caring words or affection.
Any man in his mid-forties attracted to someone in their early 20s WHO IS STILL SEARCHING TO FIND THEMSELVES has a serious problem.
He has a serious problem.
See my parents are 10 years apart and my boyfriend 14 years my senior, but you are still searching for who you are. You are still searching for what is right in a relationship. At 40 a man should know what he wants and if it is someone still searching for themselves, that implies that at 40 he is as well.
Love is a feeling of security, peace, understanding, tranquility. Love doesn't wonder it knows. Love is not uncertain how their lover will feel - love knows.
You can be a chase, a trophy, a game or a prize. I do not want to diminish his sincerity if he is, but surely he has to have quite a past - what in the WORLD makes you think that he is not having sex while dating you for the last 1 1/2 years--at 40??? He is not 16.
He might want you to be the one, but for now while he waits, I hate to say it, but the chances of you being his only one are slim and none.
We can vote on the side of slim and assume he is faithful, but don't give in and if he does leave you lost someone you didn't know - and a feeling you absolutely cherish feeling. NOT THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE...TRUST ME.
If that is the case you can definitely find it in someone else - give yourself time to grow and live and date and explore and enjoy and laugh and HAVE FUN.
Your ability to refrain from having sex is a true sign of a classy women.
Give yourself a little space and time to sort it out. (Don't tell him you need space - just do it - as a test.) If he gets mad or starts questioning you a lot or demanding your where abouts or what you are feeling.....consider it a red flag and a message to possibly spread your wings.....not your legs.
2007-04-24 12:29:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he really loves you he'll respect that you aren't ready to be intimate. I would never ask or expect my girlfriend to do something she wasn't ready to do. I don't know if you a wanting to wait until you are married, but if that is the case, then that is good, and you should tell him that. He should respect that, and if he doesn't then I would say he probably doesn't care about you as much as he says he does.
2007-04-24 12:20:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes you are in love with him. Sex is just an add extra of a relationship. But now that you have had time to love and discover what each other has to offer , you should open up and express eachother more intimatily because now that your souls are connected it's time to be physically connected. Medically when you have sex with some the female andthe male release hormones that in to the other that travel to the brian which makes you want to protect and care for that person more. So i bet if you got together it would bring you closer than ever!
2007-04-24 12:20:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he cant respect the fact that you are not ready and want to wait then he is NOT the man for you. A real man can wait and respect your decision and still remain faithful. Men will say yeah I will wait but will go cheat on you and have sex with other women. You have to TALK to him about it and let him know how you feel and that your scared he is going to leave you.
2007-04-24 12:17:13 · answer #6 · answered by 2 CURIOUS 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nobody can tell you if he will leave. Only he will make that decision. I can tell you from a personal experience that one ex-boyfriend did leave me because I wouldn't sleep with him. However I was 17 and he was 19. A big difference from where you (and your boyfriend) are. If he loves and respects you truly, he will understand your desire to wait, unlike my ex from high school. It doesn't mean your BF will leave.... but don't be pressured into sleeping with him to keep him. If he's really bugging you about it, have a talk with him. You won't know the deal until you communicate and if he's in his 40's hopefully he can do that maturely! Good luck.
2007-04-24 12:19:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anon Chicago 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
hey girl
if you are not ready then your not ready dont do something that you dont want to do.Remember that when you decide that it is time for you to give yourself to someone it has to mean alot to you and it has to be very special. Dont give yourself up if your going to do it because you are afraid of losing him it's just not right. If your boyfriend loves you he will wait and if he leaves you because you wont give him some then he is not even worth of having you for breakfast, luch or dinner ok! you know I know it will hurt you alot but be proud of yourself for not giving it to him. And if your boyfriend waits for you that will show you that he has good intensions for you but be careful cause everything could back fire since some men can't wait for long but like I said dont do something that you dont want to do it's your body no one elses you know whats right and wrong so good luck
2007-04-24 12:28:28 · answer #8 · answered by mary o 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. If he's in his mid 40's then he is probably getting it from someone else if not from you.
2. Why are you with someone so much older than you? Have fun!!!
3. If you're not ready don't do it just because he is.
2007-04-24 12:20:07 · answer #9 · answered by dil7827 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he really loves and respect you he will wait until u are ready. Its worth the wait and i am proud that u have stand ur grounds and that u are waiting until ur ready and not rushing that very kool
Hope this helps
2007-04-24 12:18:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋