2-1/2 year old son will not eat solids, wont go on the potty, and has major melt downs.?

Question

My son has always had a eating problem. He gags when he watches someone else eat. He will not eat new things and it is getting harder to have him eat oatmeal and pureed foods. He gets very angry and eventually throws up. I am seeing the food team with the speech, dietician, and occ therapist but it is taking forever. It has been six months since our last appt. Someone who has had this same problem please help!!!! There are other things that he does that makes me wonder too. He has hated hair cuts ever since birth. He will fight to get away. He also has always thrown things such as toys or anything if he is upset. He has no desire to go on the potty. He has always been very hard to control. When it is just one on one he is such a snuggly boy. He has an older sister that is 4-1/2. They fight on a daily basis. I do think that is normal though. Anyone have words of WISDOM? Thank you for your help in advance.

Answer 1

Has there been any diagnosis like relfux, or a learning disorder? Knowing that helps solve the issue, so hopefully someone can help you learn that information. My situation is not exactly the same, but similar. So I will go into that. One thing they might do if they have not already is a barium(sp) swallow. That may include a study of the upper and lower GI tracts. This can tell them alot about your son's ability to swallow, and process his foods. He may have a pallet issue. This can make eating very uncomfortable, and the child might seem excessivly gaggy. How does he do with a cup/sippy/bottle? Between now and the time you have more answers, talk to your nutritionalist about getting him on a diet that might include medical pediasure, and a cal supliment. its liquid, each ounce of the pediasure has 30 cals, and a child can literally get all they need from it. How much is up to your doc. My daughter lived on this diet for seven months prior to a brain surgery, it kept her home instead of the hospital. She had apx 30oz per day (at that time she weighed 14-17 pounds depending ) The more comfortable you can make his eating exp, even if it does not fit the *norm*, the better off you will both be! While DD's twin was eating what we were at a year and a half, she still had a bottle and her diet was primarily liquid. Its hard to wrap your head around it, but it matters less what I think, and more what she needs, you know? As far as his sensitivities to touch, again, it will be easiest on you both if you accomadate him if you really think its medical and not behavioral. We don't push dd into things like hair cuts, and minimize touch she does not herself initiate. For her nails, I wait until she is good and tired, or asleep, bust out the clippers and fast as I can, do my job lol. So what you have do do to him, do quickly, and without letting your frustration show, and what you dont have to do to him, dont! As for the hitting and throwing, you cannot tolerate that, its dangerous to him and others. If this is a medical thing, and not a tweo year old being a two year old, restrain him. By this I mean, let him cry it out somewhere safe, his crib, or in your arms. Thats hard.Your son sounds alot like my DD. With Cody when he acts out I can treat him like any other two year old, time out, no no, you get it. With alexis I have to evaluate: Is this her *problems* rearing up, or is she just being a genuine snot today? Im sorry your going through this. It is heartbreaking, and so very hard. As for wisdom? My dd is 29 months old. Although we are still dealing with much of this yet today, and have precious few answers, These special kids sure teach you alot about what is important, and what is not. Think of it in those terms, and you will find things go smoother.
Again, see about the pediasure, it really did keep us out fo the hospital, and when your child is NOT eating no matter what you do, and not drinking enough to stay hydrated, every little thing you can do helps.
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good luck
Heather

Answer 2

My 2 year old daughter ALSO does this. She has what I call "adversions" to things, such as other people eating, sunscreen being applied, watching her brother eat anything like yogurt etc. She just gags until she throws it up. I know this sounds hard to believe but I really think it is a power struggle. I just ignore the gagging and everything and she has started to curb it. I just tell her to stop and now usually she does. She will not eat pureed foods, but she will eat yogurt and sometimes oatmeal. The potty issue is also very difficult to handle. I would make it a game. or extra special for him. Just in case you are wondering, you are not a bad mom, there is nothing you did to provoke this behavior, every 2 year old is different and I bet you didn't notice it as much with the 4 year old because it was your only child. Things tend to seem worse when you have the two. :)
Take care, and dont worry it is just a phase

Answer 3

I consider she need to be first-rate intent my 6 yr ancient does now not like milk unless he is eating oreos or sizzling cocoa which i make with millk and he is quite healthful he does devour alot of cereal and does drink the milk within the bowl after he's entire. And when he used to be 3 he wouldn't drink anything but sunny pleasure i could make it half of of juice and 1/2 water but thats all he would drink, my daughter is the opposite direction around she aren't capable to drink exceptional juices so she drinks extra milk the only setback is that she's going to get constipated alot because of the milk so might be their having some milk from time to time, you could possibly continually do a diet complement while you feel that she isn't getting enough food plan d thats what i do for my son, hope this helps bye

Answer 4

Stop worrying and play it cool. I wonder if he is attention seeking. Can you think of anything that has worried or upset him? it sounds as though he needs your reassurance more than anything else. Can you observe and see if anything in particular starts him off? Next time he kicks off, instead of getting upset or cross, give him a cuddle, look him in the eye and tell him you'll love him just the same whether he eats his oats /goes on the potty/gets his hair cut or not. Try to find time for extra one on one time and give him a chance to let you know what he is worried about. My daughter used to be like this and the whole family has traumatic memories about when my husband tried to make her eat a spoonful of peas one holiday. I've never heard of a child that starved. just give him a while maybe 10 minutes, to eat his food, and take it away without a murmur when he leaves it. Just make sure he doesn't fill up with goodies instead. With the potty, I left it for a while (and this sounds soooo mean) I bought her a fancy one wrapped it up and put it with her Christmas presents. She used it right away, and has never looked back. With my grandson I find sending him to the naughty corner for one minute for each year of his age ie 2.5mins works.

Answer 5

Welcome to the terrible twos where every toddler wants to be in control of everything. Try giving him choices. Like, would you rather have this or that. This will make him feel in control. I think that you have taken this a little far. He sounds very normal to me and I think that giving him the feeling that he is in control, helping him explain his feelings when he is angry and realizing that he is not going to be like his sister will help. Most boys take a lot longer to potty train and what I would do in that situation is give it up for awhile and then try again. If he feels like this is something he has to do he is going to rebel. You also said that one on one he is very good. That is because he has your undivided attention! He probably acts out more to get your attention. If he had a psychological disorder he would act out in all aspects of daily life. It really sounds like the typical jealously and control toddler behaviour. Relax and try to enjoy your children!

Answer 6

First I'm gonna start off by telling you that in 2 days my son was cured of his terrible 2's, when I tell them to do something they do it. My daughter is 8 and she doesn't whine, yell, and always listen to the first command I give her.

I know to some this mind sound mean, but you have to train your kids how you want to behave. My son is 20 mhts and my daughter is 8 and I've used a switch on them since they were crawling. It's only about 12 inches long and as round as a spag noodle. It stings, but doesn't do any major damage. I use the switch because it's what the bible speaks of using. You should always swat your arm a few times to make sure your not doing it light or hard and the next time the kids act up swat them on the thigh, bare skin.

You'll be amazed at how well it works.

Answer 7

Something tells me there is a certain 21/2 year old that needs to be shown who is the adult and who is the child...

He is getting away with murder bacause he is being ALLOWED to get away with murder,

Food:- Don't make an issue of it. - Don't want it? Okay, it's gone... Tomorrow he'll think twice before he lets you bin it.

Potty:- Again - don't make an issue of it...Are you still a baby and can't go on the potty? Or are you a big boy and need to go to the toilet? (you can buy a toilet step)

You say he is hard to control - maybe it's because he feels you are trying to CONTROL him!

Stop thinking about controlling his behaviour and think about TEACHING him the right way to behave.

As for him fighting with your 41/2 year old - perfectly normal... but maybe you could get her to help in his lessons... "I can't fight with you, you're just a baby that won't eat his dinner or go potty or anything!"

Words of wisdom? - before you know where you are he'll be 27 and tellling you to butt out of his life... sorry, that wasn't wisdom, it was the voice of experience.

Not MY experience you understand, the experience of friends... my son thinks I'm woderful...honest... ;o]

Answer 8

He should be evaluated for behavioral problems I think you are doing the right think taking him to specialists, my son has a speech delay and he was getting very wild and throwing tantrums and getting angy alot, just out of frustration, I took him to a speech therapist and it has helped him alot but it does take time. They should be able to help you find out why this is going on. Best of luck to you.

Answer 9

These will help

Potty training

pottytrainingsolutions.com

Tantrums

www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddler/toddlerbehavior/11569.html
www.kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/tantrums.html

gaging

http://www.hini.org/HINI/oralfeed.htm

GOOD LUCK HONEY U ARE GOING TO NEED IT

Answer 10

I think he needs to be evaluated by a child psychologist. I think it's something a bit more serious.