What would you do ... ?

Question

My 20 yr old told me to "f" off today - after I had lovingly done his laundry ... should I let bygones be bygones and hang it up or should I dump it on his bed?

Answer 1

Forget the bed, dump it on the lawn so he has to wash them himself. he needs to learn to respect you!

Answer 2

I say dump it on his bed, and then try to address the issue of why he's disrespecting you. He may have a valid problem with you, and you need to make him see that he can tell you if so, IF he does so respectfully. If he's just being disrespectful for the sake of being disrespectful, he's plenty old enough to move out.

Oh and also, make him do his own laundry from now on. And don't yell at him if he goes for a few weeks without doing it - if his clothes get all stinky and he gets turned down by a woman or a potential employer, it'll teach him his lesson better than yelling at him would.

Answer 3

Hello Free Spirit:

Although you claim to be a free spirit it is important that you continue to be that example by giving of yourself and doing for others. It is also important that you give your son reason to evaluate himself so that he can keep his spirit in check. Now that I have taken you the long way around the barn..."Yes" by all means dump his clothes on his bed and you may also want to add that you don't expect to see them anytime to soon back in to the dirty laundry. You are his guardian and not his slave.

Best wishes,

Answer 4

Right up my alley here...and I can tell you one thing, if my son had pulled a remark like that to me, I would a) never do his laundry again and b) dump it on his bed AND c) in a quiet moment, let him have it with both "barrels".

This is NOT acceptable Mom. NOT - NOT - NOT. Stop that behavior "dead in its tracks" NOW, especially if he has never pulled it before.

Name calling is infantile and wholly disrespectful - you're not teaching him anything positive by merely dumping the laundry on his bed - get tougher in this matter. He's not a teeney-bopper anymore, he can vote, go to war...SO TREAT HIM LIKE YOU WOULD ANY MAN WHO WOULD TREAT YOU LESS THAN RESPECTFULLY! -Givem hell...

Sincerely,

Grace

Answer 5

Probably told you that cause he should do his own laundry. You've invaded into a fellow adult's "space". He'll always be your child, but he's an adult too. You'll need to respect boundaries, or kick him out to see what's it really like out in the adult world. Stop babying him by continuing to do his laundry. He's gotta grow up sometime.

Answer 6

Hang it up. Be the better person. After all you went to all that effort, shame to just dump it. Do you know what made him swear at you? He probably regrets it now. Just tell him you love him. Ask if there is anything wrong. He will prob end up feeling really guilty.

Answer 7

G'day Freespirit,

Thank you for your question.

I would throw it in the bed and make the lazy so and so iron it. I would then have a talk with him about doing his own laundry from now on. I would show him how to do it. I would also have a talk with him about what made him say that.

He has got to start standing on his own two feet.

Regards

Answer 8

I would drop kick your son in the face I mean he should be thankful that your still letting him live there but if he is going to treat you like that then you should kick him out and tell him to get a job I'm 22 and I am renting an apartment not living with my parents.

Answer 9

if you don't tell your 20 yr old to F-off routinely, then the child shouldn't talk to you that way.

perhaps let them know it hurt your feelings, crossed your boundaries.

20 year olds need to do their own laundry anyway (but it was nice of you to do it for them!)

take care.

Answer 10

At 20 years old he can do his own laundry and if he doesn't like it throw his bum in the street.

Answer 11

dump it on his bed and then let bygones be bygones