How do I make my bf realize he is spoiling his child?

Question

My bf always gives his little boy his way and it's driving us crazy! The little boy has a half-brother, who lives with his mom in another state, so he was basically an only child. That is, until I moved in. I have 3 teenagers who chose to live with their dad through the week so they wouldn't have to change schools. My kids have noticed how spoiled my this child is, and they just stand and shake their heads. There haven't been any big blow ups, but I see one coming if something doesn't change. I know my kids have felt a little slighted at times because my bf's little boy (I feel like I'm his parent too, especially since his mom isn't around much at all) has a lot more material things than they do (most of which he had before we came into the picture), plus I spend a lot more time with him than I do with them because they don't live with me. I love my bf and his son, and they love me and my kids, so that isn't an issue... just want to un-spoil this child!!

Answer 1

he's probably "spoiled" because of everything he has gone through in his life... mom away, parents divorced, etc.

sometimes parents spoil kids to make up for what they feel are their shortcomings, and for what they might believe they have put the child through, so they give give and over-give.

you sound like a really concerned step parent... and when you said your kids just stand and shake their heads, i could almost SEE them doing it! ....and i had to smile.

you didn't mention the child's age.

perhaps you and your husband could talk about this. let him know you certainly love him and his son, but you feel that the child has become a little out of control because "WE give in to him too much" (just include yourself in the sentence, so your husband doesn't feel you are pointing fingers at him, specifically).

maybe let your husband know that the child doesn't need everything he wants, needs to learn that sometimes he has to earn the things he receives, that presents are limited mostly to holidays and birthdays, and could learn there is such a word as "NO"... you could tell your husband you are concerned that as he gets older, he will become more and more demanding and may come to expect too much from you as parents (such as things you can't possibly afford or do for him).

you could let your husband know that you want what's best for the child, and you feel it would be best to tackle this now, before it becomes an issue (even though it is to you right now).

take care... all the best... (oh, i said your "husband" not your "bf".. hmm oh well! )

Answer 2

If the child seems to be ok with you as a mother figure, then you might want to talk to your boyfriend about you disciplining him. Don't be confrontational about it, but just ask his permission to discipline the child when you think it's necessary. Such as telling the kid, "no you can't have any candy until after supper" and if he pitches a fit in the store, give him a spanking. Are you sure he's really spoiled? You've mentioned that the boy has more toys than your kids, but how does he behave? Does he act like a spoiled kid or does he just have more stuff? He may not need special attention in that area if he isn't showing bad behavior.

Answer 3

How old is the child? If he is old enough to listen to reason, tell him that he now has brothers and sisters and that it is more fun to have people to love and do things with than it is to have things and get your own way all of the time. He should catch on eventually. And things should get better in the summer if your kids are there more often.

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

35+ and you're spoiled [ ] very own automobile [x ] cellular telephone [ ] very own telephone line [ ] bf/gf [ x] very own bathing room [] very own room [ x] 2 or extra tale domicile [ ] outfitted-in pool [ ] concentrated visitor domicile [x ] activity room [ ] television on your room [ ] Double mattress [x ] extra beneficial than 20 pairs of footwear [ ] 10+ issues from a dressmaker keep [x ] good grades [ ] Dior sunlight colorings [ ] louis vuitton handbag [x ] iPod [x] XBOX [ ] PS2 [x ] mp3 participant [ ] Mercedes Benz [ ] BMW [ x] basketball hoop [] air hockey table [ ] pool table [ ] ping pong table [x ] trampoline [ ] stay to tell the story a lake or pond [ ] very own a pair of skiis [ ] very own a snowboard [ ] has a ship [x ] has a jet ski [ ] has a sea coast domicile/ cabin [ ] in straight forward terms toddler [x ] stereo equipment in mattress room [ ] DVD participant in mattress room [x ] a hundred+ dvd's [ ] gets $50+ for allowance each month [ ] is going identifying to purchase each month...or a week [ x] shops at abercrombie [ ] is going snowboarding/ snowboarding each weekend [x ] makeup [x ] cologne/physique spray [ ] objective [x ] MSN [x ] Yahoo [ x] 5+ trophies [x ] very own digital digicam [ ] walk-in closet [ ] electric powered scooter [ ] airborne dirt and dirt bike [ ] 4X4 truck [ ] guitar/drums [x ] hammock [ ] been on a cruise [ x] traveled in another us of a [ ] weight set/ workout set in domicile [ ] very own in great condition coach [ ] high priced jewerly [x ] met a action picture star [x ] straightener/ curling iron [ ] gets hair finished/nails/spas [ ] on/replaced into on a Varsity team for the college [ ] very own batting cage [ ] a hundred+ in wallet/ handbag appropriate now [x ] very own mark downs account [x ] a million+ maximum suitable friends [ ] been to the carribean [ ] been to europe. [ ] been to hawaii [ ] been to special apple [ ] shopped in seattle [ ] eaten on the gap needle in seattle [ ] been on the eiffel tower in paris [ ] been on the statue of liberty in manhattan [x ] been on the honour roll for 2+ years [ ] went on a visit for candy sixteen birthday [ ] lives on a private sources [] license [ ] moved 3+ situations [ ] activities automobile [ ] warm tub [ ] puppy(s) [ ] ranch [ ] verizon [ ] cingular [ ] sprint [x ] virgin cellular / different [x ] been to 5+ states in the US. [ x] dont have a activity. [x ] a hundred+ friends on messenger [x ] alarm clock [x ] domicile-cooked meal very virtually customary [ ] consume-out very virtually customary [ ] been in a limo [x ] very own camcorder [ ] very own laptop [ ] very own pc complete: 36

Answer 5

How old is this boy? What specifically do you feel he is doing wrong? You need to sit down with Dad and have a long (nonconfrontational) talk.

Answer 6

Ummmm some people want to spoil their kids!!! Leave it alone... Raise your own kids how you want.. or should someone tell you how to do that?