I used to be schizophrenic, but we'all right now.
I could'nt care less apathy.
I bet you I could stop gambling.
Friction can be a drag sometimes.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.
Laughing stock~cattle witha sence of humor?
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Borrow money from a pessimist~they din't expect it back.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace prize.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Why do bankruptcy lawers expect to be paid.
Dosen't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected.
I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers.
On the other hand you have different fingers.
There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Go on laugh, you know you want to.
2007-04-24 07:36:11 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I think the grandfather one is our favourite - very funny lol
2007-04-24 09:26:10 · answer #1 · answered by lacala.girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just watch Kindergarten Cop. The movie is packed with one liners that are hilarious! Plus, Arnolds accent + tough guy image make it that much funnier seeing him get bossed around by a kindergarten class :-P
2016-05-17 22:13:05 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, another version of an old one - I used to be schizophrenic, but now I'm in two minds about it. And why is there only one Monopolies Commission? Why is abbreviation such a long word?
2007-04-29 05:41:40 · answer #3 · answered by artleyb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are good. Very good. Especially Grandpa,
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnositc insomniac?
She lay awake all night, staring at the ceiling, asking herself,
Is there a Dog?
2007-04-24 08:00:38 · answer #4 · answered by Alf W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reminds me of a christmas card i sent my sister once. I bought one that said on the front - HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO BOTH OF YOU.Then i wrote inside,
" You think i have made a mistake buying this card don`t you ? But i know you are a schizophrenic........"
She rang me when she got it in the post and laughed her head off for ages !!
( told you - schizophrenic) LOL
2007-04-24 07:43:45 · answer #5 · answered by yahoobloo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very good I'd like to add.
Sterility is hereditary
2007-04-24 09:19:02 · answer #6 · answered by bo nidle 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cracking laugh! Another one "I USED TO BE indecisive but I'm not so sure now"
2007-04-24 07:56:54 · answer #7 · answered by clara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some of these are extremely funny and some not so but great collection of one line jokes.
2007-04-24 07:41:34 · answer #8 · answered by burtben 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I'd love to!!! That's what I'm doing right now!!! Here, a star for you!!!
2007-04-24 07:40:40 · answer #9 · answered by Gamer_Nikko™ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep raised a smirk
2007-04-24 07:41:29 · answer #10 · answered by dunrockin404 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋