well, my dad is kinda jealous when he goes out to eat wit my mom, if there is a guy next 2 us he starts asking why my mom was staring at him when she was not! it is not really that bad becuz he does NOT hit my mom, if they argue they just dont talk, or my dad goes for a walk! but now it is worst, no he did not hit her, but he left, and my mom just had a baby for him about a month ago and he is leaving and taking the only ride we have! i have more brothers and sisters, and we all have to go through this and it is tough, especially on my mom, and last nite she packed his things because his sister called saying that he said my mom does not treat him right, but every day after work, there is a big meal waiting for him, she buys him stuff, his clothes are always clean, and he never notices it, when my mom gets ready for him he just say " who did u get ready for" and it hurts my mom, but she does not want to leave him, neither does me or my brothers and sisters! i need serious answers! Help!
2007-04-24 07:23:36 · 5 answers · asked by iluv_rock_n_roll2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi, It sounds like your father has a serious self confidence disorder. He is probally feeling very insecure about something and it could be so many different things. Maybe your mom looks really nice and he gets super jealous, maybe he isn't as good looking as he use to be and is afraid of losing your mom. These are the most likely answers if this is something that has come up in just recent years. If he has always been like that then its probally a more serious insecurity issue.
My best advice would be for you or one of your other family members other than you mom try and talk to him and get him to say what is really bothering him and what is making him feel so jealous. Once you can get that out of him you can then talk to your mom and see what she can do to help address his concerns. First thing let him know you guys do not want him to move out and to come home and try and sort this problem out.
Good Luck
P.S. You have done nothing wrong
2007-04-24 07:33:23 · answer #1 · answered by lookingwesttexas 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all it's not your fault.. you didn't do anything wrong.
the relationship between your parents belongs to them, and you should not have to take on adult problems.
it seems as if your father has jealousy issues, or is just plain ignorant. and your mother tolerates him, probably because somewhere inside her, she loves him.
when your father wants to stop acting like a moron, he will.
when your mother gets sick and tired of your father, she will do something about it.
meanwhile, i'm glad they are not physically abusive. people sometimes grow apart, or go through difficult phases. it's not uncommon in relationships.
i'm sorry they separated, but maybe this is just temporary. you can tell your mom how you're feeling. let her know you are feeling scared, worried, or however you feel! this might give her and you a chance to open up and discuss what is going on in the family.
i hope things work out..... sending hugs your way.
2007-04-24 14:33:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your father would make up any excuse to leave. This is something you cannot control and something that is NOT your fault. You should tell your mom that she needs to get the best lawyer in town and take him for everything he has because she is going to need it with several children. I'm sorry things are going so badly for you!
2007-04-24 14:44:55 · answer #3 · answered by The Nana of Nana's 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with other answers here. I also hate to say this, but sometimes when someone points a finger at another, it’s the very things THEY are doing. This may not be so with your father, but he could be seeing other women. I also agree that he is a bully and that this is NOT your fault. If the things you say are accurate, it’s not your mother's fault either. But his head games and lies are VERY destructive. The family would be better off without him.
I know it's not what you want to hear. I loved/love a bully too... but the pain and devastation I could have avoided by leaving LONG ago still haunts me at times. Ugliness caused by such people is very destructive! People think it's their fault and crumble while the bully claims to be the victim! They tend to remain unaffected by the misery of those they hurt!
Bullies do not truly love others, a very painful realization for me. The reason is, they do not love themselves. Blaming people for things only causes more pain. I forgave my bully when I understood that she had no idea how much damage she was doing to herself... and that something happened long ago to make her this way. Emotionally, she was still a child. Forgiving and understanding her helped dissolve my anger, hate, pain, and resentment. Staying away from her restored my soul!
I had to release all of the guilt she piled on me! It Was NOT My Fault or Her Children's, Nor ANYONE She Was Blaming! Your mother needs more self esteem, to realize she doesn't deserve to be treated so cruelly! She probably thinks SHE did something wrong. That's what the bully WANTS!
I know much of this is not what you wanted to hear, Love. Like me so long ago, you probably wanted a solution to fix things. I spent a very, very long time trying to figure out a way to fix my sister… but nothing works when they don't want help and want the problem to be you, Not them!
I spent 20 years with a sister who bullied me and our kids. When I realized she was hurting MY kids, I left. I could endure my pain, but not my children’s! It took so long because I did NOT realize the harm of words! It may sound strange, but words can be much more abusive and cause more harm than physical violence!
God Bless you and your family, Love. I understand what you are going through.
This is part of a poem I wrote about the harm of words….
Words can send a soul to Hell! Oh, the suffering that exists!
Evil dwells within poisoned words--those deadly knives that twist!
Cancerous words devour, shredding body from soul.
They wield a deadly power, with injury as their goal!
I've seen the pain that lingers after the heavy blow!
Those searching, rotting fingers with hateful eyes aglow,
That rip inside at the flesh, destroying from inside!
The victim is left to thrash, with no place left to hide.
They bear a million stingers with poisons bitter and rank,
Their painful throbbing lingers near each barb that sank.
With each new sting, the poison grows, for each seeks to impale
Devouring the heart and soul, to leave an empty shell!
2007-04-24 16:10:44 · answer #4 · answered by Eudora 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OFF HAND.IT SOUNDS LIKE HE'S MAKING UP A FIGHT, TO GET AN EXCUSE ,TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.WHAT REASON HE WOULD NEED TO LEAVE I CAN ONLY SPECULATE.
2007-04-24 14:29:53 · answer #5 · answered by revolver33333 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋