is taking a break really a break?

Question

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a little over 5 months. everything in our relationship was perfect - being head over heels in love with each other, talking about marriage, kids etc. recently she called me and out of no where said that things were moving too fast and that she needed a break to be by herself - long story short we havent talked in 4 days and it amazes me that she hasn't called me yet. looking back on the relationship, i too think we might have gone too fast, but i thought that is how we thought that is supposed to be when u really love someone. there were too many feelings there for her to just let go of me - especially when she knows and always tells me that i am the best there is. i want to fight for her because i know all things are true, or should i just let her be - these were feelings that both of us have never felt before and it just felt so right that maybe she got freaked out. - it just makes no sense that you could go from being deep in love to not talking in a matter of hours - after she tells me that she has been waiting all her life for me -

i think i deserve answers - no ???

Answer 1

Keep giving her space & let her make the next move.

Carry on with your own life right now & stay busy.

Answer 2

Over time I realized that my relationships tended to fizzle out after 4-5 months. When I sat down and thought about it, I realized that the 1st few months were so great because we were both discovering each other and we were still on our best behavior. However, over time we start to be more our normal selves and we start to see the imperfections in one another. This usually happens at around 4 months. By the 5th month you decide whether or not you can tolerate those imperfections. You either move on or keep going in the relationship.

Your girl friend may be at the stage where she is trying to decide whether or not to stay in the relationship. If I were you, I'd try giving her a call today or tomorrow. Ask her to talk about what she's thinking in terms of the relationship. Maybe you can talk through some things - maybe not.

This is pretty common.

Another thing that happens is that around 5-6 months you start to miss the things you once did when you were single. You've been spending all of your time with your bf/gf and no time with your friends. It's hard to get out of the routine you've developed- each person thinks they'll hurt the others feelings. It's an awkward transition, but it is doable. Maybe this is all that is going on.

Call her and talk to her.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Look Im sorry Bro but forget the stuff she told you. Look at the picture now. She has been gone for 4 days. ONLY 4 days and if she asked for some time to be by herself that you would not be respecting her request if you cross the boundry and call her right??

I would wait for it to be a complete week and I would call and say something like "I just called to see how you are, I miss you" and than see how she reacts.

Someone to ask for a break...there has got to be something wrong. If she felt like things were going to fast she would have said so and you guys would have slowed down but instead she decided to cut off and God knows if its temporary.

Was there an ex that maybe she has unfinished business with? I seen to many cases of girls that move on to better guys and than leave the better guy and go back to the ex.

You really need to figure out what it could be. There are too many what if this and that and we just cant sit here and try and figure it out cause its impossible.

When you call her than try and talk to her and ask her about exact reasons and tell her that you dont understand and that you need her to explain.

Tell her that if she is going to leave for good than she should tell you now because it will hurt more and more as each day goes by and ask her to be honest.

If your going to see her make sure you look your best.

Oh and thats what this place is for...ask your question as many damn times as you feel like asking it till you get the answer you want.

Good Luck.

Answer 4

Give her time. If it was moving too fast, she may need the space to decide if where you're going together is the path she really wants to take. Give her space and time. It may also help you think about the relationship and what you really like (or dislike) about it. If it takes too long though, you might want to contact her to get some definition on just how long she needs or what is her goal in the "break". Then again, you might also want to move on she takes way too long (I'm talking months here, at least).

The adage goes, if you love something, let it go. Give it a try for a while and see what happens. If the relationship is as good as you claim, she'll be back.

Answer 5

A break is different with every situation..usually a "break" means i wanna see other people or be intimate with someone else and not have you mad at me..usually..but your case sounds different.You didnt say your ages so maybe just maybe all those feelings did freak her out and 4 days is not a long long time but i know its long enough when you were both prob. spending all your time together. Call her talk to her explain everything out to her..like how you feel the exact same way and are scared a little about how intense the feelings are too..but true love and if it feels right is just that--you just know when that person is the "one".I personally think you two will be fine and she is just a little unsure what to think about these new feelings and being as though they were so fast..but please just talk to her..not to the point of bothering her but if you feel this strongly about it---put yourself out on a limb and put your heart out there to her and explain you two can figure this thing out and experience all this newness together..----Good Luck!

Answer 6

you hit the 6 month wall. for the first 6 months there is a chemical that is in both of your brains that is going crazy. that's what causes the fast pulse, the butterflies, and the complete inability to concentrate when they are around. after 6 months, that chemical starts to break down and disappear. this is when you find out if you really have a real relationship or if it was just lust running its course. i think you did move too fast. talking about marriage and kids after 5 months? it takes longer than that to make a baby. what if she Had been knocked up and then this happened? do you even have the jobs to have kids? she probably lost that feeling and realizes it is not what she thought it was, or maybe she needs some time to think if this is what she really wants. or if shes even ready to be tied down yet. you cant decide for her. so i recommend moving on until she comes back around. and next time don't rush so quick. relationships take time to build.

Answer 7

All you can do is wait. If you don't hear from her within 10 days, I would send her a letter telling her that this isn't right and that you at least deserve an explanation for having the door slammed in your face like that. It makes no sense to me either that you two don't at least communicate over the phone. You might consider the possibility that she met someone else. I know this is not a pleasant thought, but it would be good to find out now that your girlfriend can drop you in a New York minute for somebody else rather than finding this out when you are married to her and have kids. Good luck, hope you two work it out.

Answer 8

This is a tough situation for sure. Maybe the both of you were moving to fast and one day she realized that she really wasnt sure what she wanted of where she wanted to be in life. TAke this as a time of reflection and give her some space. AFter you feel the time is right annd you'll know when that is, call her up or maybe she'll even call you before then.

in the end if things dont turn out as you hope although i hope they do for you remember that everything has its place and purpose and everything happens for a reason.

Answer 9

If she is asking you for a break, you have been fooling yourself thinking things were great. These things don't come out of nowhere.

She is interested in someone else, and your relationship is over. Don't continue to fool yourself into thinking its just for a little while. There is a good chance is has already been with this new guy, you might be waiting for a phone call forever.

Don't call her, it will just show here how desperate and hopeless you really are. Women don't like that in a man. Just move on and don't look back...nothing to see back there but a train wreak.

Answer 10

You should call her and talk to her, if you love her FIGHT until you can't fight anymore, maybe you guys can slow things down a bit. There is always a way to work out every situation. I think she should have called by now, because 4 days is alot, you should call her and talk about it or meet up somewhere. Ask her if she needs space and if she does, give it to her. The worst thing you can do is having her feeling pressured. I hope this helps but it's so hard to find love and when you find it you should try and hold on to it.

I hope everything works out.

Answer 11

Give her the space. Four days without calling isn't a really long time, and if you feel you can't go that long without talking it may be that the relationship is getting a bit codependent. She probably has to deal with her own feelings too. Too much need can be oppressive. Find other things and other people who you can have fun with. Beware of comments and feelings about someone just waiting their whole life to meet you. It's a little obsessive.