How many kids and how far apart is best?

Question

For when I try to plan out having kids.
Is it better to have one then wait about 4-7 years before 2nd then have 3rd sooner, like 2 yrs later

or is it better to have 1st and 2nd close in age and last be 7 yrs or so yonger.

or have them all about 2-4 years apart?

Answer 1

I have three.. they are 16, 15 and 7. I would not change it at all. Have two close together when you are younger and have more energy and wait for the third so you do not have to deal with the empty nest syndrome all at once. I love being a Mom and I am very active with all three!

Answer 2

I wouldn't do three. I was one of three, and I'm telling you, SOMEONE is going to be the odd-one-out. It's not fun.

I think that two, somewhere around a year and a half to three years apart, is good. My kids are 20 months apart, and yes, it SUCKED when they were both in diapers and stuff, but they're bestest buds now, they play together really well and all the time.

My husband has four siblings, and there were at least four years between their ages, with the exception of the youngest two, who are two years apart. Basically, only the youngest two played together or got along well, because the others were just too far apart in age.

My nephew is almost four, and he's expecting a new baby brother in the next three weeks. He's really excited, but my sister is already a little concerned about how well the two of them will be able to play with each other, since by the time the baby is even walking, the preschooler will be about to start kindergarten.

If you decide you want three, I wouldn't have two of them noticeably closer in age than the other, because that's only going to intensify the odd-one-out thing I was talking about earlier. I'd split them up pretty evenly.

Answer 3

Let's see, I had 4 and I kept them at least 4 or 5 miles apart at all times. LOL! 16, 15, 13 and 8.

Have them when you have them. Plain and simple. Nobody can really pick the exact times unless you're on fertility drugs with close observation by a doctor.

Honestly? I think that after you have your first one, you should wait at least 4 years for the next one so that you don't become overwhelmed and have valuable time to figure out what the hell you are doing and to correct your parenting style when you learn what not to do next time with the second and third...after the second one, two years is okay because by then you are an old pro at the parenting gig!

Answer 4

I will have 4 at home in the fall - 8, 4, 3 & soon to have newborn. I love the older one being able to help and now my 4 year old helps also. My three is a little slower to mature, she thinks she's still a baby, but that will change in the fall! I like the combination that I have - an older one, 2 close in age and one a bit farther away.

Answer 5

That is really a personal choice. There is no right way or wrong way it is whatever works for your family.
My older sister , brother(twins) and I are 2 years apart. My younger brother and I are 7 years apart and my younger sister and I are 9 years apart.
None of us are really close especially my younger siblings and I, but then there is my friend and her brother that are 13 years apart and they are really close.
My kids are 3 years apart and I am expecting another in December. That will make my oldest and youngest 6 years apart and the 2nd and youngest almost 4 years apart. That seems about right for me and my hubby though even though it wasn't for me and my siblings. My kids are very happy to finally be having a new brother or sister. I hated it when my dad told me he and his gf were having a kid. So I can hope for the better.
Again, it is a personal choice that you must make based off of your family.

Answer 6

I read something written by American Academy for Paediatrics concerning this issue: The age difference in age between kids is recommended either to be less than 1.5 years since the baby will not be used yet of being of the only interest of the family .. Or more than 4 or 5 years as the child will start to be having his own interests and will not be much affected by mother not totally dedicated to him

Answer 7

I would 3 kids is ideal and to have them 2 years apart . . anything sooner than that will just be hard. You don't want a big difference in age. . me n my sister are 9 years apart and weren't very close growing up cause she had her own friends and while me and my other sister were inseperable because we were only 2 years apart. . i think the closer they are to age the closer of siblings they become

Answer 8

It's all on what you want to do but I have two children and mine are one month from being 3 years apart but I would say.... have 2 - 3 kids and have them anywhere from 2-4 years apart... my mom had three and she had each of us 5 years apart...

Answer 9

My mom had 3 kids, each 4 years apart. I know many families like this as well. I think that is probably the smartest way to do. Kinda gives ya a break.

Answer 10

I think 3 to 5 children and 2 1/2-4 years apart is good. mine fight but always have someone to fight and play with:) If you wait too long they wont be as close in age and wont bond well, and if its too close together then they will be too much competition for mom and dad