My foster family does'nt treat me like part of the family. they tell me to be a part and act like part if it but they go and leave me out and do things and don't invite me so what should i do?
2007-04-24 05:09:21 · 13 answers · asked by Tana c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi, it sucks being in foster care, I know I have been in many and the people think that you can just forget about where you came from and pretend to be a part of them.
Your not a part of there family and I know this sucks to hear but that's where you are for now so just try and lift your head up and just give them a chance. As long as they are not being mean to you, just try it.
The reason they may not be inviting you is because you are making them feel that you would rather not be involved with what they are doing, your not comfortable so they are just giving you space and time.
Try to get involved a little and like I said I do know that it sucks but just try okay, you can still have a life and you don't have to stay there forever and things will get better, so try not to be to down and depressed about things and keep ahold on faith always and forever.
You can get through this and I know you can so try showing them a little at a time that they are not so bad and you wouldn't mind being more involved.
Good luck and take care.
2007-04-24 05:40:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been with this one family?
I know in some states, kids get bounced from home to home a lot, and so the families and foster kids are probably careful not to get to attached to someone who will be taken from them shortly.
That said, you should talk to the parents privately, and ask the question exactly as you did here, because you put it in a very respectful non-threatening way.
If that doesn't help, talk to your contact at the foster care program and ask them what they think.
Even if nothing changes, at the very least, you'll learn something from this for when you have kids yourself or even other social situations now when you are tempted to leave others out. You know what it feels like, so hopefully, you won't want to make others feel bad like that.
Or put positively, you could give someone a postive experience you didn't have yourself.
2007-04-24 12:17:46 · answer #2 · answered by yurbud 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tana c,
Sounds like your foster family may be giving you some space.
Are you new to the family? Definately talk to your social worker about 'wanting' to be included. If you have a therapist, talk to them for advice as well. If you just aren't comfortable with the above - consider talking to your foster mom or dad separately. Just say Hey? can I talk to you? They'll listen. In your conversation you might want to say - remember when you said you wanted to me to be part of this family and to act like I wanted to be....well I'm ready now and I'd like to be included the next time the family goes to the movies..(this is just an example).
My foster daughter is 12. She's been w/us for over a year. She is just now starting to express to us her individual likes and dislikes. Foster parents know that children take time to open up no matter what age. They are showing respect for you. Stay strong and gather up that courage to talk to them.
I wish you only the best!!!
Take care
2007-04-24 23:51:12 · answer #3 · answered by AngelHelper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your foster family together and tell them how you feel. They may not realise what they're doing. I don't think they'd do it on purpose after telling you to be a part of the family. If you don't feel comfortable talking to all of them how about talking to the one you trust the most. Or you could even write it all in a letter and give it to one of them. I'm sure if they knew how you felt they'd be sorry and change.
2007-04-24 15:46:05 · answer #4 · answered by CUTEY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hi my name is Hailee Bradley i am in foster care to..my family is the opposite of your foster family..u should sit them down and tell them that they are not treating u like they r treating everyone else...also ask them why they are leaving u out....i hope u get somewhere if so talk to me back..
2007-04-24 12:56:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
see your social worker as it suppose to be confidential.I do not know what your problems were at home with your family-- I would just hang on in there for the time being--you will soon be of age when you can have a life of your own.If you not invited to partake in the family goings on stick your head into doing some studying--show them you can do without them .GOOD LUCK X
2007-04-24 14:19:46 · answer #6 · answered by mother 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is so sad to be in your case...
i know how you feel,
i also grew up without any parents, but i wasn't left in a foster care...
i grew up in the care of a relative...
though we're relatives, i still feel isolated and alienated...
it is still different when you grow up with your real parents. it is like there is still something missing in you. you lack the sense of security and belongingness...
the best thing for you to do is to ask guidance from God..
just pray always...
i also hope you won't hold grudges against anyone...
learn to see the positive side of everything...
be optismistic...
avoid bitterness...
don't be bitter for you to be better...
remember God loves you...
2007-04-24 13:07:41 · answer #7 · answered by -cLiNt- 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them!! When they tell you to act like part of the family, tell them that it is hard to do when they make you feel so excluded. There is no harm in telling them how they are making you feel.
2007-04-24 12:39:18 · answer #8 · answered by ♫Rojas♫ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call a meeting with the foster parents and your case worker, talk about the issues and be honest.
2007-04-24 12:50:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I pray your foster family will invite you.
Maybe ask if you can join in
2007-04-24 12:19:18 · answer #10 · answered by robert p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋