Well, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and things got a little rocky when we found out we were having a baby but then everything has gone ok until about a week ago. We were in the process of buying a home and he spoke of how he really wanted to be with me and all he wanted was our family. Then all of a sudden he states that I am to insecure and that he can't handle this and that right now he wants to do what he wants and that were not going to be together. I am extremely upset and not really sure which way to go. Then he has the nerve to keep calling about money that he owes me and at the same time expressing how he's been out till 5 am partying and so on. I'm not really sure what type of response he wants from me. I just thought things were going to be different and pregnancy does bring a lot of insecurities but leaving doesn't help. Thanks for your imput wether positive or negative, I just needed some advice. Thanks!!!
2007-04-24 04:33:34 · 25 answers · asked by angels 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Some people cannot handle the responsibilities and pressures of being a parent and some even do what your bf is doing - running and hiding in the partying and 'doing whatever he wants'.
Personally, I'd stop taking his calls for a least a week maybe four. You are a package deal now. Go see an attorney and find out your rights for future child support, get some counseling to help you sort through your emotions and help you make a plan for your future.
He may want to come back at some point, but I'd wonder if he would always run when things got tough and I'd wonder what he's really been doing while he's out doing exactly what he wants.
Sorry you have to go through this and congrats on you upcoming bundle of joy.
2007-04-24 04:41:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't how old you both are are. But it would be easy to say that he is just very immature . could be a case of sheer panic as there is a lot going on at the moment .The thing is we can never know what is going on in some-one elses mind.
You cannot force anyone to stay who really doesn't want to perhaps you both just need some space for a while I don't know. Have you anyone close a really good friend or family member you can turn to for some support?
You need to be looking after yourself right now for your own sake and your babies sake.
Does he have family or real friends he can rely on .
I don't condone the things he is saying to you they are cruel and very immaturethere isn't really anything you can say to those kinds of remarks they may be designed to get a response out of you that is angry and hurtful so that he can then use that as a reason for his behaviour I don't know.
Well this probably isn't the best answer in the world but I hope it helps to know that there are people who do care.
2007-04-24 11:48:02 · answer #2 · answered by Angel 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you say that things got rocky when you got pregnant, does that mean he didn't want to have a baby? If so, are you really suprised that he wants out?
Basically what happened, he would have been happy if you had chosen to not have the baby, but you wanted to keep it. Since he couldn't convince you to abort it, he tried to put on a happy front and make the best out of a bad situation. When he finally came to the realisation that his life is basically ruined, he couldn't keep up the front any longer and he bailed.
The best thing for you to do is let him go. He can pay his child support, and make the best of the rest of his life, and you can raise the baby that you wanted to have. He is legally obligated to pay support, but he is not obligated to be a part of yours or the baby's life in any way, and that's his choice.
2007-04-24 11:47:51 · answer #3 · answered by eviltruitt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could either be freaking out abt the massive responsibility that's been given to him and doesnt know how to handle it just yet OR he could just be a jerk. These things force men to grow up, which most dont ever do their entire lives. If he's a jerk, the response he'd want from you is one that relieves him of all responsibility from the situation. If otherwise, he'd want some reassurance from you. Tell him that its okay to freak out and that a child coming into your lives is a HUGE thing and that you freak out sometimes as well. Its just the way you get yourself out of the freaked state and get back down to earth and deal with whatever that has to be done. He may feel this way also cos he's suddenly losing his freedom to do what he wants when he wants with whom he wants (since he's actually TELLING you about partying). He needs reassurance OR he needs a good telling off. Either way, you shouldnt have to coax him too much into believing that everything is going to be fine. You're the one who's pregnant! What would happen and how'd he feel if you were the one freaking out and deciding to party, putting everything at risk, even your unborn baby's life? You shouldnt have to go through it alone.
OH and btw, CONGRATULATIONS! remember, God doesnt throw us a ball he thinks we wont be able to catch i.e. he wont allow you to have to go through something he knows you wont be able to handle. You'll have a beautiful baby and life whether your bf wants to be a part of it or not. God Bless.
2007-04-24 11:55:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly you thought wrong. This is why you shouldn't start families until after the wedding. No offense but you picked a loser to make babies with. This isn't his fault since he was always a loser, it's yours since you were the one to pick him. You really don't have any choices left except to file for child support after the baby is born. He is not looking for a response from you, just letting you know that he will be an *** and not want to pay on time.
I feel bad for you, there are a lot of good guys out there you didn't deserve this one. Try to pick a better guy next time, raise your standards you are worth it.
2007-04-24 11:41:53 · answer #5 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hmmm he sounds really confused. give him his space let him go for now.......... just you concentrate on the rest of your pregnancy as it is the most important thing now.... you dont need to be worryoing about his .hm lets say childish behaviour. get some support from your family keep urself busy by setting up the nursery and buying baby clothes etc etc... also id be getting counselling from your dodctor and or family planning clinic... because if it looks like u will end up on your own then you may aswell get ahead now and gather as much information and support as you possibly can. remember that pregnancy and brining up a child can be really amazing if you choose it to be, your child will love you unconditionally NO MATTER WHAT. and will never leave you or disrespect you..so embrace the little life you have growing inside of you and let nothing get in your way to becoming a wonderful mother!.Take care
2007-04-24 11:45:42 · answer #6 · answered by littlemisssaigon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
isnt it easy for them to walk away???? But this is why you need to really get to know some one before you make a commitment like getting pregnet. The baby is now caught into the suppose to be adults troubles.
He needs to grow up and face what happened and if he walks at least be man enought o make sure this baby is not suffering because of you two. You just learned a lesson ladies have been going through for 100's of years......... Id say let him go be the little boy he is acting like... and Be the Best damn mom you can. and chalk it up as a lesson learned and GO on with your life. and BE HAPPY
2007-04-24 11:40:39 · answer #7 · answered by Peggy C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is scared of the responsibility of having a baby! It happened to me 14 years ago and I raised the child on my own. He got cold feet. You do not want to be with him anyway! Just let it go and sue for child support. I know it is scary but you can raise this child on your own. Get a good job and you will be fine! You do not need a guy in your life who is irresponsible!
2007-04-24 11:41:54 · answer #8 · answered by Gidget 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that u jus need to forget about him if he is goin to be like that...don't worry im sure ur family and friends will be there to back u up n help u out. One day u will find a guy who cares and who will help u out. In the meantime explain to him that even though he skipped out on u when u needed him he still needs to have something to do with the baby n i would make him pay child support n help u out somehow. Good Luck
2007-04-24 11:39:53 · answer #9 · answered by country_chick_09 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is an *** and he does not deserve to have a child. He wanted one and all of a sudden he is out like that. He may have his own worries but he has to step up like a man. He did the deed and the results were the kid. Do not get back with him because he is obviously one to not be able to trust.
2007-04-24 11:49:46 · answer #10 · answered by Tim VP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋