My son is 5 now and his "dad" left when I was pregnant. Since then, he's been visiting his grandparents instead of him. Now that I'm happily married w/ more children, the grandparents have pushed his dad back into the picture! He hasn't wanted anything to do with him since he was born and now he's wanting full custody! Is there a way I can fight to get him to leave again? Maybe terminate his rights somehow? I don't know where to start. My son is getting mixed signals and is acting out terribly. There are lies being thrown in his face when he goes over there, then he comes home and takes it out on all of us here. I just want what's best for him. His step-dad would LOVE to adopt him. Please help!
2007-04-24 04:19:31 · 11 answers · asked by Lil Sinny 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i don't think that any judge in the world would grant custody to a father who abandoned his own child for five years...
really, he has no ground to stand on in this case.... he walked away, and had nothing to do with the child for YEARS... so it's highly unlikely he will get custody. you probably need the advice and help of a family practice attorney.
i don't know why people put little kids in the middle of their crap!!! your son's father is a complete idiot.
i have some advice for you when it comes to the child. take him to a reputable child psychologist. he is apparently confused and this sudden change in his life probably seems HUGE to the poor kid. a psychologist can relate well, and help him to see that adult problems don't belong to him, and talk with your child in a way HE will understand.... i think it's important to get him help because of the confusing circumstances in his life right now.
plus, a psychologist can be very helpful in a custody case.... just so you know.
i'm sure your pediatrician can give you a good referral.
your son's emotional health is critical.
i hope things work out, hon.
take care.
2007-04-24 04:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first. Get your son therapy as as possible so that his feelings can be dealt with immediately. Keep talking to your son asking him questions and so on. Hug him and remind him how much you all love him. Get in touch with a family lawyer at once. By doing this the lawyer can tell you what you can do according to the law in where you live. His biological father cannot just come in and think he can take over. 5 years is a long time. This child's father is his step-dad. He is the one that has been there being a real dad. Once you speak to the lawyer and explain how this is affecting your child you can find out if you should lessen the visits to the grandparents until something is done. I wish you the best of luck and hope that your and your family can get through this as soon as possible.
2007-04-24 05:37:03 · answer #2 · answered by rencar32002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he would ever easily get full custody but you should have the counsel and help of a lawyer with this. Don't fight to get him to leave again. Your son has already had him back in his life. He's acting out because of the bad feelings flowing back and forth between you and your child's father. If you want what's best for your child, address this legally as soon as possible. A clear message will be sent to your son's father through legal advice or a court decision. He will have to adjust his behavior accordingly. If, on your own, you try to push him out of your son's life, I think he will fight even harder for more contact - just to spite you.
This is really a legal question. Try to remain calm.
2007-04-24 04:38:38 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer. your son is in your custody the father was not there for him his whole life and now he wants in. this is neglect and can harm the child emotionally. he has one a dad your husband not the other guy you had sex with. he has no rights over the child. you do if you don't want him seeing his child i suggest you get a lawyer. on the other hand... not letting your child see his dad is not helping ether. you can give the guy a chance but tell him he can only see your son if he doesn't talk about grown up stuff. that's none of the kids business it's your twos business not your son. and make him pay child support. or no kid you've been paying for how long now he needs to pay up or no kid that's the law.
sincerely,
Noreen
2007-04-24 04:45:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
supervised visits for the grandparents until the situation is fixed, highly unlikely he will get full custody, since he has never been involved in 5 years. terminate his parental rights and have your husband adopt him,. It will require a lawyer. If the real father wants to be involved, make him take you to court. because technically he has no rights as far as your child is concerned, since he hasn't been around at all. I hate parents who use their children as pawns and tools to hurt the other parent. Do what you think is best for your child.
Best of luck!!!
2007-04-24 04:29:42 · answer #5 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off he abandoned him and now with the negative impact he is having i seriously doubt he would have a prayer for custody. i would contact a family lawyer and if possible cut off him going to his grandparents, there are no visitations set up so if they want to see him they can come to your house and you can supervise or you can go there and supervise! also discuss the options for your husband adopting him, as far as i know the biological father has to sign all rights away but you might find other options.
2007-04-24 04:27:23 · answer #6 · answered by JM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know a lot of people will not agree and i do not know the WHOLE story.there is always two sides.but maybe he realized what a big mistake he made.and does not know how to express it. also his mother could be telling him stuff about you so that she can keep your child without you being in the picture.if you at all can see any truth in what he says and does. give him a chance it is still your sons father. and you don't want to give him a opportunity to say he tried and you pushed him away. yes he is a jerk for leaving you both but every one makes mistakes. ask him to please stop playing with your kids head and you will work on any problems he has with you. remember your son is watching everything you both do and he will decide on his own. good luck. if he is full of crap he will leave on his own.
2007-04-24 08:26:56 · answer #7 · answered by THAT1UDONTPLAYWIT 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My ex sister n law did this to my brother and yes you can terminate his parental rights,no judge would allow him full custody not being around so long.But talk to a lawyer about this.
2007-04-24 04:25:54 · answer #8 · answered by billieleann78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to his pediatrician, get a therapist, and try to document your son's behavior. Get some professionals involved. If they don't have legal visitation, he doesn't have to go. Talk to grand P's and let them know he is troubled. If they really care they may back off.
2007-04-24 04:26:31 · answer #9 · answered by FLORIDA MOM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
adopt him asap, keep him from the father unless theres a court order, then fight that. He's YOUR son, not his!!!
fight with your last breath as I will do
2007-04-24 04:23:55 · answer #10 · answered by timestamps 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋