Daycare policy on biting?

Question

My 18 month old daughter is in daycare and she keeps getting bit by girl, Dani. Dani is about 2-2 1/2 and the sheets I keep getting say my daughter is getting bit for "no reason." Not for food, not for a toy, for NO REASON? I've talked to a few people and they say some daycares have policies saying if one child bites 3+ times, they are kicked out of daycare, of the parent has to come to daycare for a day before the child can return etc. Does anyone know if there's a state-mandated law on this? I live in Alabama. I know it would inappropriate for me to talk to the parent, but I want to talk to the daycare teacher or owner; however, I'd like to have all information possible before approaching her. FYI, the bites are so bad that they almost draw blood...the last one was a dark red scabthat was clearly visible for 2 weeks. That's an extremely painful bite if it's through clothes and it leaves a mark like that.

I would also like to add that Friday, when my mother picked up my daughter, the teacher showed Dani's dad (the other girl) another boy's back where she bit him. My mom said it was worse than my daughter's. The teacher did not tell me who the child was. My daughter kept telling me "Dani bite. Dani hit." I asked my best friend (who works there, not in her class) and she said Dani bites everyone! I know at a local daycare my other friend worked at, the child would be removed if they kept it up. The "for no reason" part is what got me. If it were for a toy, or milk, or food, I wouldn't be as upset. My friend who works there said this child is consistently aggressive. It would be my place to talk to the parent if the daycare operator does not handle it. We will see. Thanks for all your answers!!

Answer 1

You march your rearend into the daycare and tell the director that your child being attacked by someone who is almost twice her age. The daycare is to be a good steward of your daughters safety and if they can not do that then you will take your child and your money elsewhere. Then put it in writing saying that if your child is attacked again and do to the neglect of supervision of a constant attack your child will be removed without two weeks notice and without payment. Then hold to it. You can not depend or or demand the daycare to get rid of a child however you can expect the safety of your child from constant attack. Be the strong voice for your child that she needs and put the daycare on notice that you are demanding her safety from on going attacks.

Answer 2

I know that when I was a teacher at a a daycare before becoming a certified nursing assistant that it was policy at every daycare I had worked at that if the biter bit more then 3 times that child was asked to leave. And from experience as a parent I was not happy when my son would come home with bite marks. I taught both my boys never to bite. They both bit me once and that was all it took for them to realize that they better never bite me or anyone else ever again. I know some parents think it's a stage and all that other BS, but they don't realize how awful a human bite is. They say a dog's mouth is cleaner then a humans I hate to say it, but you don't know if that other child has something or not and when that child bites hard enough to break skin that's ridiculous!! I taught me kids never to bite, I just wish more parents would do the same. If that daycare doesn't want to do anything about it, maybe you should look into a new daycare if it's possible. Good Luck!!

Answer 3

I am an Infant-Toddler-Preschool teacher and a mother of a biter. Children do not bite for no reason. They always have a reason even if it is not immediatly seen to other people. In thier head they have a good reason. It could be that they do not know how to use their words good enough to get thier point across, that they do it for the reaction that they get from others, because they are scared or feel other feelings that they don't know how to deal with, because they want attention, because they want to bite to relieve some pressure from teething. What ever it is there is a reason.

It sounds like your child's daycare is not supervising good enough. The child who is biting needs to be "Shaddowed" until the reasons for the biting is figured out. The teachers need to keep a log explaining what was going on before the bite, what the reaction was from the other child and the staff after the child bit, what the outcome was, the time of the bite, and any other pertinent information. This is how they will find out why the child bites. It is only then that they can do something about it. The child really needs to be shaddowed for the protection of the other children.

I do not think that kicking him out is the right idea. My son was a terrible biter and he did it from the age of one until he was three. It was a hard couple years. We found out that he used to do it to see what reaction he would get from others. The funny thing is that he used to pick a couple children to bite and focus on them. As he got older he had enough words to tell us that he did it because he liked them. He got kicked out of HeadStart when he was three because of his biting. I felt like that was the worst decision that the school could make. It was not the right thing to do with my son who needed the stability. That just threw him off, but brought us to the daycare that he is at now. He does not have any behavior problems at his new school. He has been there almost a year. I think it is because of the atmosphere and the patience-dedication of his teacher.

You can not approach the parent because the school never should have told you which child bit yours. It is against confidentiality laws. I would find a new school if I was you...not because your child keeps getting bit, but because of how they are handling the situation, and that there seems to be a lack of supervision.

P.S. The age range of the room IS appropriate. She is in the toddler room I assume and the age range is fifteen months to two years and nine months.

Answer 4

no it is not wrong to talk to the parent, my son hit a boy at school a few months ago and I approached that parent, to let them know there was punishment in place. I would expect the same. You daughter may learn that biting is okay if it keeps happening to her. Just like when children see hitting or screaming they think it is okay. I would be afraid of that. I think you should talk to the head of the daycare immidiatly, something should have been done. I mean kids fight, yes but this many times and that hard is a bit too much. I don't know your laws, I don't even know if there are any, I think it is a case by case basis, in other words each daycare sets their own rules. You are paying these people to keep your daughter safe and they are not. They are your employees, I suggest going in today and having a very long stern talk with the director, this is unacceptable. I would also suggest finding a new day care of advertising for a baysitter that is a stay at home mom or older lady who needs a little extra money. Good luck

Answer 5

most definately talk to the daycare. Find out what is being done to stop this and if the other parent has been told of what their child is doing. The human mouth has lots of germs and bacteria and bites that bad could cause serious problems. You need to stand up for your child. When i was in Kindergarten I kept getting choked by a boy in my class, one day I came home with the marks still visible around my neck...at the time we lived down the street from where I went to school...my mom turned me around and walked me straight to the school office! They gave my mom some story about how he was abused at home and his dad was a jerk so it should just be overlooked. My mother looked the principal right in the face and said I don't care what kind of home life he has (pointed to the bruises on my neck) and said this is totally unacceptable! She told them if something wasn't done immediately she would bring the state school board into it. If you get a sob story about this other girl or they don't seem to be doing anything to ensure your daughter is safe, then you should report them to the licensing agency and find a new daycare!

Answer 6

i'm a day care teacher. i live in cincinnati, ohio, work in the infant 2 room. our infants are split up into 2 rooms, tiny babies in one room, and once they are mobile or 1 year they move up. the toddlers are split by age also. but the first red flag for me is why is a 2 and a half year old in the same room with an 18 month old, that is just crazy!!! I work with the older babies and when they turn 18 months they move up to the toddler 1 room, but if they start to bite or get mean we move them up sooner. the main reason they start doing that is because they are bored, tired of being around the little kids and once they move up it usually stops. and a 2 and a half year old would be in our toddler 2 room, where they are potty trained and taught alot more independance. but anyways...as far as you not getting a reason for the biting, that is not acceptable, you should demand a reason. and where i work we are not allowed to tell the parents the names of who is biting who. our number one rule is children confidentiality, we can loose our job if we share any info with anybody, even staff. what goes on in our room stays in our room. where i work, we have a biting policy that if your child bites to where it breaks the skin 3 or more times, it depends on the situation, then the family is asked to leave. i would reccomend you look for a different day care because it seems like your child is a chew toy for the other kids. i work for rainbow child development center. see if there is one near you and check them out. you won't be sorry. Hope i helped!!

Answer 7

talking to the parents isnt going to do a single thing- because they can't 'make' there 2 1/2 year old quit biting... she's biting out of frustration- and as for the daycare provider saying she's biting for 'no reason'- doesn't make sense, because she says she isn't biting for a toy or anything- then why couldn't she stop the biting if she was right there watching what is going on??? she doesn't know why the child bites- because she isn't there...
what needs to be done is for better supervision of the children.... mostly, the one that is doing the biting... she needs to constantly be on her- especially if she knows she is always biting.
trust me-- biting does happen- they are quick- but, to say it isn't for a reason? there is a reason.

Answer 8

Those kids shouldn't even be in the same room since there is a large age gap. Talk to the director ASAP! This isn't just the child biting your kiddo. What is the teacher doing? She needs to be talked to as well. If this contiues, I would find a new day care and be clear about your views on biting. And hell yes, you can talk to the parent of this child.

Answer 9

my daycare has STRICT guidelines on biting. they are on a military base, so they are governed by the state (SC) and federal guidlelines. however, you SHOULD have gotten information about policies like biting, sick children, food, general rules, upon enrolling her. if you didn't then you NEED to schedule an appt with the director.
the caregivers may be only doing part of their job.

in my daycare if a child bites more than 3 times in a day then they are sent home for the day. if they continue biting and it becomes a big problem (like this sounds like it is) then that child may be removed from daycare or the daycare will help in any way to get the child and parents assistance with the biting problem.

bottom line....you need to talk to director. maybe a solution would be to move one of the kids to a different room?? i had issues with my son's caregivers so i stood up for my kid! i didn't care what those caregivers thought of me...i requested for him to be moved to another center or another room and he was moved into another room by the end of the day. we are BOTH soooo much happier now!!! it's wonderful!

the center needs to take care of your daughter and they need to help the other girl.
talk to the director ASAP!!!
good luck. take care.

Answer 10

My son bit the same little girl twice...I talked to my daycare lady at length about it (I was mortified) as he isn't an aggressive child. She kept them seperated, and it never happened again. Turns out the little girl was taking a toy he was playing with. I even talked to the other mother and apologized to her for what happened. It has never happened again. I certainly think that your daycare provider should be keeping them apart for a while to try and fix the problem.