all my girls have ordered their dresses - all will be in this week but one - however - im not completely happy now with the choices i made for who the girls are as i was when i made them.
what do i do? i want girls in my wedding that support me and love me and who are my friends all the time - not just when they want to be. this is going to last forever and i want my memories to be full of love and contentment with my decisions.
if you have any advice - please let me know~!!!!!!!
2007-04-24 02:34:49 · 10 answers · asked by jacqui h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Ok I wish you allowed email b/c I'd love to know what has changed. Sometimes its a big deal. People always assume a bride is being bridezilla if she kicks someone out of the wedding.
I had to kick a bridesmaid out of my wedding. I'd paid for the dress--she hadn't paid anything on it yet (she was planning to pay me back)--was asking if I could shell out some money for her to fly in from Canada. And was telling me she didn't want to arrive early enough to actually get the dress altered to fit her. She was looking at a flight that would arrive just a few hours before my wedding (assuming it was ontime)! I felt there was no other choice.
However, you don't give us any details about why the bridesmaids aren't working out. As others mentioned, they did pay for the dresses and are doing their part. How are you feeling thats not support?
It comes across as you are either way too high-maintaince as a friend. After all it is your wedding--not theirs. So it doesn't mean as much to a bridesmaid as it does a bride. It never will. That doesn't mean they dont support and love you. Or it comes across as you are just way way too stressed about this wedding. You need to take some time off. It's just a date. One day of your life.
Spend a day with your soon-to-be husband and remind each other why you want to get married. Spend a day together doing what you enjoy--and above all don't talk about the wedding the entire day.
You may need to just chill out a lil. It's really only a wedding. Brides spend too much time focused on the colors and the flowers and the invites and too lil time focused on the marriage--the life spent together with this man for the rest of your life.
You asked for advice so my advice is...
Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. And it won't be perfect. Start accepting that. Something will go wrong. If you look so upset about it, and allow your head to explode a lil problem into a huge catastrophe--that is what you will remember on your wedding day. The hectic stressed anger that consumed you. And you will have 1,000 pictures of an expression on your face that looks as if its the worst day of your life. Take a cleansing breath, remember something will go wrong--on your wedding day as it does in real life--it's how you weather the storm that matters.
2007-04-24 07:18:35 · answer #1 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's too late to kick these girls out now that they've already ordered the dresses. Doing so is inconsiderate, and you'll also ensure that these girls WON'T be your friends anymore. If you're dying to have other people standing up with you, add extra bridesmaids. Having too many bridesmaids will be much better than being a bridezilla who asked people to be in her wedding, had them order dresses, and then kicked them all out.
2007-04-24 03:28:26 · answer #2 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Too late to un-ask them to be in your wedding. You should have made sure that you asked them back before ordering the dresses if they were all ok being in the wedding.
What you should do now is thank them for their support and love on being a part of your special day and let them know that even though your big day is coming up and you are getting ready for your wedding that if they need to talk to please let you know and you will be there for them and hopefully they will offer the same.
Good luck!
2007-04-24 03:48:42 · answer #3 · answered by Important 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are really stressed right now and your view of what makes them good friends right now might be a little skewed. Being a bride means juggling a lot of things but being the friend of a bride can be a little overwhelming as making sure everything is just perfect isn't nearly as important to the friend as it is to you. Compared to a few other bridesmaid questions on here really it sounds like you have it pretty good right now. Dresses have been bought, no one is trying to burn you in effigy and they still all want to participate. I'm sure the day will be lovely and they really will be the last thing on your mind. Good luck.
2007-04-24 03:30:13 · answer #4 · answered by indydst8 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you cant dis-ask them now. If you do this it will cause a huge fall out and your wedding should only be about you and your soon to be husband. Take a deep breath and let it roll off of your back, the moment the wedding is over and you get back from your honeymoon and you still feel that one of your girls are not your friend then just dont include her any longer.
2007-04-24 03:06:06 · answer #5 · answered by mama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she grew to become into commonplace earlier and worried approximately such issues now, i ponder whether her husband is an exceptionally controlling person. From what you have defined, he's. do not substitute something you're doing. in simple terms clarify to her that it is not meant as a average to her husband, although that's incredibly significant on your fiance that he have his brothers and closest friends with him, and you help him in that. for the reason which you're having a sweetheart table, she'll be sitting with him on the reception, maximum suitable? If her husband keeps making a huge deal approximately this, that's his subject. i might evaluate dropping the arm in arm requirement or have her walk out with the flower lady and ring bearer or something like that. If she's incredibly uncomfortable with touching and being touched via yet another guy, which may be accommodated, maximum suitable? EDIT: in case you provided her the alternative of not touching and he or she got here across an excuse to say no this, then you definately're doing the main suitable factor via telling her she needs to choose on no rely if she nonetheless needs to be a bridesmaid, or she needs to sit down down together with her husband. i'm not getting the project with the lover table. that's basically a table for 2, maximum suitable? in case you and your husband have a sweetheart table, then the bridal party is at quite a number of popular customer tables with their companions/families -- maximum suitable? So the reception might desire to be no enormous deal. Or does sweetheart table not recommend the comparable factor to you that it does to me?
2016-10-30 04:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you made your choice and now your stuck with it. these girls were your friends in the beginning, enough to make you choose them. sorry, but you sound a little childish. what do you want from them? this is your wedding, not theirs so no, they arent going to care about every little thing you say or do wedding related and your crazy to think they would. they are supporting you. they are going to be in you wedding standing there next to you. sorry but your not a princess. you need to stop acting like one.
2007-04-24 03:07:46 · answer #7 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sympathize with you, however, if the dresses are already ordered you really can't change your mind now. They've already put out the money for the gown! And, in my opinion, that shows that they ARE your friends if they were willing to spend so much money to be in your wedding. You'd be hurting their feelings, and making ememies- and you don't need that kind of stress right now. If there is someone you'd like to add to your bridal party, add them, but I don't think it's fair of you to replace anyone at this point.
2007-04-24 02:56:37 · answer #8 · answered by terasa425 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Gosh, the went, shell money out for their dresses, shoes, make up, hair, jewelry and is not enough for you? What do you want, their soul?
Yeah, it may be your day and all, but girl...you seem to be whinning for attention. How old are you? 12? People Do have household, jobs and things to do other than to cater to your needy self. Wake up honey, it's not all about you.
Good luck
2007-04-24 03:10:48 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You need to suck it up..... they all bought the dress, they are all in the wedding.... grow up... you sound like your whining...
What did these girls do that was soo horrible that you want them out?? They aren't loving you or supporting you enough?? Get real!!!
2007-04-24 02:58:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋