My 6 yr old 1st grader is having behavior issues!?

Question

My 6 yr old daughter who is in first grade is having some behavior issues in school. The teacher is sending notes home everyday about this. I have also stopped in and spoke to her as well. It seems my daughter is not paying attention in class and doesn't want to finish her work. Her grades are Awsome and I don't understand how the teacher can say this. For the past week now my daughter has been crying and wants to stay home with me and says she hates school. We have gotten 4 different stories in 3 day from my daughter on what is bothering her. Now the school social worker is involved. I told her whats going on and she was going to speak to the teacher and see whats happening. The weird part of all this is that this has happend in the past with Pre-K and Kindergarten at this same time of the year! I am baffeled to what is causeing this and I can't figure out the problem! I broke down this morning and cried cause I don't know how to handle this! Please Help!!

I can only go on what the teacher tells me! My daughter is a very hard worker and does her work. I believe there are many distractions in a class room when there is only one person working with the class. I do work for this school part time as a subbing teacher aide. I know the curriculim and know what the kids are exspected to do. Could her behavior also be a sign of her being bored of the work and needing something a little more challenging? Any ideas would be helpful right now! Thank You!!

She has been tested for ADHD and all that stuff and she is fine! She has come home and told us the teacher is always on her cell phone during class taling to her boyfreind. Sometimes they argue on the phone she has told me. I would like to speak with other parents in the class and see what they have heard from their child. I never seem to catch them. Alot of the kids take the bus home. I pick mine up from school every day!

So far all of the answers here are very helpful! Thank you! It gives me many options and helpful answers to my questions!!

Answer 1

Have you talked with other parents of the other children? We had the same problem with a pre-k teacher who singled our son out. She would have him sit in the office while the class had parties and try to make it to where he couldn't go on field trips with the class unless he had someone go with him. On these field trips he was the best behaved and I stayed out of his way to see how he was interacting with others. He did everything he was supposed to do, but he was still singled out. It was the teacher. We had several telephone conversations with her and conferences with the principal. Finally after so many complaints, she doesn't work there anymore. Maybe the teacher is singling her out and your daughter is feeling the pressure. Even though her grades may be good, it still may not impress the teacher enough. Our teacher would be good as gold to your face, but different behind closed doors. So check into it with other parents, talk to the principal and don't be fooled when the teacher seems nice to your face.

Answer 2

When I taught first and second grade, I recall a few children becoming "out of character" after spring break, ie acting out, clingy to parents like a preK kid, etc.

I would go and observe your daughter's class. The school should have an open door policy. If not, ask the teacher for the ancedotals (notes all teachers should be taking on behavioral or academic issues in the classroom) so you can see what the exact problems are.

Acting up and being bad are way too vague. Ask for specific incidents and times. Hold that teacher accoutable!

Answer 3

I know that alot of kids have a hard time dealing with peers. I know that sounds odd at this age but I know from 6 year old that weight and any body type not normal to other kids can cause a problem. It seems that self image starts at very young age. My 6 year old is about 3 inches taller than most her school age kids friends, it is not a problem but i have heard them make comments on how tall she was and she asked about it. I just told her that everyone grows different and if she looks at everyone she will see that no one is the same.

Answer 4

If your daughter is doing well, grade wise, in school then I think you may be right to assume that the issue, regarding her school work, has more to do with boredom then purposely trying to be difficult or lazy. Discuss this with her teacher. Maybe the teacher can find and give your daughter more challenging work sheets to do and have something for her to keep busy with should she get her work done before the other kids....like a book or fun worksheet.

If your daughter is being easily distracted suggest to her teacher that's she's moved to a spot by quieter children and away from the view of the hallway.

Also, if your daughter seems to be upset around this time of year, every year,is it possible that she's really upset about the end of the school year? If so, maybe you can allow her to get her friend's phone numbers so that she may invite them over for play dates during the summer.

Answer 5

Your daughter could have ADHD. There are several types of ADHD, sometime people call it ADD. Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. there are 3 types of ADHD, Hyperactive, Inattentive, and combined (which means that both hyperactivity and inattention are present.)

ADHD children are typically average or even above average intelligence. My son is ADHD, (3rd grade now) a very smart little boy but behaviorally he is a nightmare at school. we've been working with his doctor to adjust his medication. Currently he takes 25 mg of Stratera in the a.m. along with a 36 mg Concerta then in the evening he takes a 25mg Stratera. This has made a big difference in his behavior.

My son loves school, but cries because he doesn't have friends. In 1st and second grade he had lots of "friends" but they have matured a bit and he has not matured as much.

Have you had her eyes checked resently? Children who need glasses are sometimes more prone to behavior problems.

Don't give up, there is help available for you daughter!

Chances are it's really not the teacher picking on your child. Teachers work very hard for relatively little pay or recognition. As a society we are expecting teachers to do more and more "parenting" but are giving them less and less tools to work with. Teachers teach because they love children.

Do you daughter and her teacher a favor, work with them, not against them like other people are going to give you advice to do.

Answer 6

First and foremost thing that you should do is to stop all negative thinking and get panicked. If you are not understanding, cool, calm and stable with loy of patience, you can cause more harm to your daughter's future than if you had just ignored the problem.
To deal with the problem,you must understand and know a few truths.
You muat know that such problems are not uncommon with Children going to the school.
You must also know that the problem may not be with your daughter. She is perfectly alright and normal. You can just get her IQ tested and be satisfied.
She may just not like the separation with you for long. She may not like being taught in a group. She may not like the closed classroom environment. She may not like the particular teacher. She may not like to be rebuked in the way the other children are used to. For any or all of thiese reasons, she is not giving attention to what happens in the class. She maybe ignoring homework deliberately to pass on the problems to the teacher and you so that you decide to stop sending her to school.
Lsten to her. Start making deal with her. The more she shows courage in dealing with strangers in the school, the more you will applaud her and give her additional time at home in the way she herself likes to spend. So, stop her sending to school everyday. Make it compulsory for only on Mondays. For any additional day give her more and increasingly higher benefits. For doing classwork and homework make her entitled to benefits she likes to enjoy on holidays.
You must know that a child who did not go to school have even won Nobel prizes in literature 100 years ago. Many children did not go through the different school grades and directly appeared in the school leaving exams directly and secured distinction. My own bother skipped going to school every other day for the first four/ five years. He just barely managed to pass until he reached 8th grade. In the 8th grade he developed a strong motivation to significantly enhance his knowledge and performance, specially in Maths. This was spurred by a teacher' comment about how laggard he was in the family and that was shameful. This boy completed the school with distinction, went to Engineering Scool to earn the MS degree.
So do not worry even if your daughter is unable to complete class work or home work for a year or two. If she has the normal IQ, she will be able to pick up. Do not worry if she becomes a little older by the time she picks up interest in studies. Even if she loses 1 or 2 years, you need worry.She may be having problems with socialising with strangers. She may be feeling insecured, scared. That's where she may need help.
Better for you to consult and take the guidance from school councilros or doctors specialising in child psychology. Do not let your friends or relatives panic you. Only observe the cases or hear from mothers who had faced the problem successfully.
God bless you and your child.

Answer 7

You said around this particular time of the year is when she acts up. Have you taken her to a pediatrician or some kind of child therapist? So your kid tends to act good during the fall semester but bad during the spring semester? I've heard of 5th graders when spring semester approaches that they tend to act up really bad and tend to get into trouble a lot more than when the fall semester what happening. I don't know. I would suggest the doctor in this case.

Answer 8

If there are campers in the classroom, or some way to monitor without being in the classroom, that will help you see what is going on.