What's your opinion on a regular person getting ordained to marry a friend of theirs?

Question

Do you think it is ok for just anyone to be able to become ordained to marry people when they have no religious background? IMO, Holy matrimony should be handled by people who are trained and experienced in this field. Would you have someone marry you that obtained ordainment from the internet? Your thoughts?

What I meant by "regular person" was someone not of the religious cloth.

And, no, it is not me that is getting married.

Answer 1

I agree with you. A non-religious person who obtains an Internet ordination is a farce and having this person preside over the ceremony belittles it in my opinion. Nevertheless, it is their wedding and I would just smile and be happy for them. I would, however, ask your friend to check with the appropriate authority in your state (county clerk, clerk of court, recorder of deeds etc.) about this persons "ordination." For tax purposes the government has gotten very specific as to what constitutes a church or an ordained minister. Internet ordination mills are not considered valid. I am not sure how this may affect the status of a marriage ceremony but I would certainly investigate the matter beforehand. Every state has different nuances of law regarding marriage so I would settle for nothing less than a specific assurance from the proper authority in your state who has been informed about and understands the real nature of this person's "ordination."

Answer 2

I'm getting married and a close friend of ours is performing our ceremony. Marriage is not only for Christians, you know.

Having a close friend as opposed to a someone who doesn't really know us makes such a huge difference. It makes the whole ceremony very intimate and much more romantic. I suggest you attend a wedding where a friend is officiating the ceremony(and I hope you have some friends out there a bit more in touch with what's going on in the world and not in cased in a church bubble). It's really something to see.

By the way, even though we aren't religious, our families are, (he's Jewish, I'm Christian) and our friend marrying us has a PhD in Religious Studies, so he will be able to honor both backgrounds.

Oh, and getting ordained is not done through the Internet as most think. It must be done in person, the same way your preacher was able to legally marry people. It's the same process. Just being a preacher doesn't qualify.

Answer 3

I agree in marriage as "holy matrimony" and all, but I would have no problem with someone being ordained over the internet to marry friends.

If ONLY people of the religious profession were able to officiate, I may feel differently, but for a long time, the right to officiate is bestowed not only to religious leaders, but to judges, justices of the peace, captains of sea vessels, etc.

I'm a Christian, but I'm also fairly realistic about the fact that most people aren't. Granted, a lot of non-Christians have no problem fitting "holy matrimony" into their wedding to make it a solemn, religious occasion, but for people who really don't want it, they shouldn't be forced to have to observe my beliefs and religious customs for their wedding.

In Christian weddings, generally the priest or reverand are known to the family, and most of the time they sit down with the couple at least once, sometimes several times, to get to know them and to counsel them. Most civil ceremonies that are done by a judge, or justice of the peace, or other civil officer, lose a lot of the personal touch religious services can have, simply because the officiant is not well-known to the couple. Having a friend perform the marriage ceremony puts a personal touch to the civil ceremony.

If the internet-ordained "minister" were to try to claim he has "training and experience" in the field of religion, or anything like that, either trying to start a church to trying to offer counseling with no training or experience, yes, I would have a HUGE problem with that. I would even have a problem with it if he or she presented the civil ceremony as a religious one. However, for a person to lead a civil wedding ceremony, say "I now pronounce you man and wife" and sign a certificate, I have no problem with that.

Answer 4

I think if a couple would like their friend to marry them then they should go for it. You can become ordained online, though I also hear it varies from state to state what the requirements are. You do NOT have to have any religion involved in getting married. Not everyone believes in a god.

Answer 5

Joey did it on Friends, so it must be okay!

But seriously, I think it depends. It would be nice if everyone who married, did it in a church they would remain at for long after their vows, with a preacher who counseled and led them before marriage. Ahh, so nice!

But when dh and I got married we didn't have a church and got married by a JOTP. It was fine. Having a dorky friend of mine at the time would have made it seem more like a joke than a real ceremony. So for me, I would rather have a 'real' preacher or someone I don't know at all.

I guess, it would depend on the friend, and how they performed the ceremony, and of course, the couple.

Answer 6

Well, even though they can get "ordained" by an internet site, they are often surprised to find they still have to meet the state or provincial qualifications and standards, and often don't.
I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be married by someone who didn't have what I would consider proper qualifications. My husband and I were married by three priests, one was his brother and two were friends - so we felt "really" married!

Answer 7

I think it's funny the way you use the phrase "regular person." Everyone who gets ordained is a "regular person" - there is nothing special about them outisde of some education and religious endorsement.

Jesus of Nazareth called a lot of "regular people" to work with him. I wish modern day evengelicals would quit worring about having the right credentials and just love people.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

I think that it is ok. If someone wants to do that for their friends and their friends are ok with it I think it is a good thing. I also think that it is a great wedding present being able to be the person who marries their friends. That is a gift that only one person can give.

Answer 10

"Holy Matrimony" is an archaic, obsolete practice. However, if you do like the idea of that archaic and obsolete practice, I agree that someone the proper thing to do is to have someone who has devoted their life to religion be the one to marry you. Secondly, it sounds like you're not getting a choice. That in itself should be a question because if you're the one getting married, I think a more active approach is called for.