so i am 20 years old and engaged to a 54 year old man (don). he treats me good but i cant help but think of all the problems we will have in the future. i already get mad at him for absolutely no reason, and i just dont think i can truthfully say that i love him. i met a guy at work that treats me very well and i think that i am in love with him. he has had some problems but is doing his best to make it all better. his name is anthony and is 24 years old. i hear his voice and get excited. i see him and just want to crumble. i dont want to hurt don but i dont want to end up miserable. i also have a 5 month old by don. and my son loves anthony. i dont know what to do. the wedding is june 9th of 2007. please help!!!!
2007-04-23 22:35:31 · 11 answers · asked by Tammi D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are having hard time, and you have to act quickly.
Breaking up a few weeks before your wedding isn't easy, but not breaking up will only make things worse... You'll be married to a man you don't love... And there will be another man on your mind...
So, even if it's difficult... Do it right now. You'll spend few hard moments, but you'll be relieved quickly. Breaking up is never easy. Not making the other feel pain is simply IMPOSSIBLE. Assume it.
Saying the truth won't make him feel less pain.
So chose any reason (life is not fair anyway), say it the way you want, but do it.
Be brave. X
2007-04-23 23:00:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a green card? Does Don own a house, a car, etc. Guys like the one at work are a dime a dozen. If you look closer the 24 year old has nothing to offer you. He probably still lives with his parents. Don't ruin your life for some foolish infatuation. Look at the bright side. Don will be dead in a few years just make sure you have plenty of life insurance on him and feed him lots of Pork. When Don is gone you will still be a vibrant young lady. Just be patient and stay in shape.
2007-04-23 22:46:39 · answer #2 · answered by ARM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT MAKE YOUR OR DONS LIFE MISERABLE by marrying for reasons other thatn love. Also, DO NOT assume that just because your son likes Anthony, that it will be all roses if you go with him. A child needs to know and be loved by both parents FIRST and foremost, so don't think about a fairytale Anthony + You = happy with your son. Just come clean and go from there... At least you won't make yours and other people miserable. If you marry and are upset all the time, the worst victim will be your son. You will confuse him with your faux love for his father all the while abviously flirting and introducing him to your potential lover. DO NOT INVOLVE YOUR CHILD regadless of your opinion. Good Luck!!!
2007-04-23 22:42:48 · answer #3 · answered by Mexi Poff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you even have the slightest hint of real feelings for someone else, It is totally unfair to keep an engagement with someone else. Do not deceive her. Most people value their first loves for their entire lives, and never ever forget them. But most of the time, people try to keep it going for too long. Don't ride it til the wheels fall off and ruin a friendship with someone you love. Be honest and let it go if need be. Everything happens for a reason. There are too many cheaters in this world.... DOnt be another one.
2016-04-01 04:45:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not really worried about Don. He should not have gotten involved with a girl your age. He was old enough to know that there would be problems. My main concern is the baby. Why on earth did you have child with a man of that age?
I really hate to see a child separated from his parent, but I know that you are not going to be truly happy in that relationship. I would definitely not go through with it. Unfortunately, your child will be the victim. Try to keep things as friendly as possible, considering the fact that Don will be in your life until that baby is grown at the very least. You have a rough road ahead of you. Good Luck!!
2007-04-23 22:48:44 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear god that is messed up. First of all put the kid first. Dont go flirting with anyone unless you are sure that baby is going to have a stable home and a financially balanced future.
Secondly you need to rethink this relationship with don, if you dont love him why did you say yes to getting engaged, talk to him about how you feel because if you hid it i can assure that it will come back around to bit you in the ***
and thirdly anthony can wait until all this drama is over if he really loves you.
2007-04-23 22:41:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him now and stop the insanity . You are being very unfair to your fiance . Get out of it now or you will make him miserable after . But your just not going to listen are you ? your going to marry him anyway and ruin his life ! That poor sap!
2007-04-23 22:40:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
BACK OUT!!!! NOW!!!! seriously love, life is way to short to do what your doing! Don't marry don! Stick with your guns and see it through, but you wont be happy with him later on if he's already annoying you!
2007-04-23 22:53:46 · answer #8 · answered by jolsbaby22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont get married if you dont even know if you love him. That's not fair to him or you. You're so young... experience more of life and love before making a lifelong commitment.
2007-04-23 22:44:22 · answer #9 · answered by :-) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your engaged but in love wth SOMEONE else other than your fiance, thats a pretty good sign you shoudlnt go through with the marriiage. besides that is WAY TOO big of an age difference.
2007-04-23 22:40:04 · answer #10 · answered by lady26 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋