Do you think wedding lists are a bit cheeky?

Question

I do, you used to just be grateful for what you were given, ok you maybe got two toasters, but I think lists put pressure on people.

Answer 1

i completely agree, especially now as so many people already live together so they have all the appliances they need anyway.

i think for wedding presents sentimental gifts are better, and there is less chance that someone else is going t buy you the same thing!!

Answer 2

I can see your point, but the advantage to a wedding list is that if a couple are collecting say, Denby china, it's unlikely that anyone will buy a whole set, but you can get all the bits you need. Also, a lot of people get really stuck for ideas, especially when a couple have been living together (and most do) and think "well, they're bound to have a toaster, a kettle etc etc" and a list at least means you know they're going to appreciate what you buy, because you know they really want it. They're helpful for families too who might want to club together and get a bigger present. Wedding lists are just a guide anyway - there's nothing to stop you buying something off the list that you think they'd like, and that way, the couple have no idea how much you spent!

Answer 3

I don't think it has anything to do with how much a couple spends on their wedding, that's their choice of how they want to do things, but I think out of politeness a guest should take a gift, even if it is something small. If you cannot afford to attend the wedding and pay for travel and hotels then don't go, you are not obliged to accept every invitation you ever get but if you do go then I think it rude to turn up empty handed. I think it wrong for brides and grooms to say "Well I'm spending $50 a head so every guest should bring a gift worth at least $50", that's wrong, your guests aren't asking you to spend that much.

Answer 4

do you mean like a registry, cuz if so then I think they are so stupid. people will get you whatever they want to get you. they arent stupid so I think they can pick out a gift. and I also feel its the couples job to fill their home with things they need, not the guests at the wedding. I got gifts from maybe half the people I invited. the rest of the people didnt give anything and I was fine with that. we had the things we needed before hand so we wanted nothing more than the pleasure of our friends company. I got married 2 years ago and I was only 19 and my husband was 21 so I think if at that age we can buy the things we need ourselves then so can most other people. its funny that they can afford like $20000 weddings, but they cant buy their own pots and pans.

Answer 5

Not having a list puts just as much pressure on someone as well. Think of how stressed people get at Christmas, birthdays, etc., trying to figure out what to buy someone. And for a wedding, you're trying to buy something that two people will like.

Also, if people shop without a list, and can't find something, they just may decide to give money, which is something they may not feel comfortable doing.

Answer 6

I prefer to buy a couple something they need and want, and don't think it is cheeky if a couple has a list at all, I usually ask them if they have one. However, I have decided against having a list, I have been living with my other half for years now and there is really nothing that we need for the house, people have asked us what we would like, or if we have registered and we have said no, and that all we want is our guests to come and celebrate with us. A few people have INSISTED they buy us something, and if they insist we are suggesting things like bath towels or sheets, things you can never have too many of, and that are not expensive. Sometimes people feel bad coming to a wedding without something, I know I would.

Answer 7

We didn't have a registry, and we never buy gifts from a registry either for weddings. I think it takes the specialness out of tailoring a gift towards the couple!
As for duplicates, well, they are actually wonderful. There's nothing like being married five years, the coffee maker goes on the fritz and you just go down to the storage area and bring up another new coffee maker! Very cool!

Answer 8

Totally, I'm getting married in the summer, and so many of my guests have asked for a wedding list that I've set one up on Amazon, but I've only put things for under a tenner on there and they are mostly comedy items - we really could do with money instead of gifts but I'm not going to say that, it's so rude and I'd rather people had a fantastic day, instead of worrying about presents!

Answer 9

Yes! It always feels like "Here's a big list of nice things I want you to buy me".

And if the cheaper stuff is taken you're stuck with the washing machine!

My sister spent weeks creating her wedding list. It was this big glossy album full of pictures she'd cut out of catalogues, telling you exactly where to buy the item from. I was SO embarrassed.

I would never, ever do one for myself. I'd risk the duplicate toasters.

Answer 10

Only if the couple take liberties and ask for household appliances but at least with a list you wont double up on presents.
For example end up with 2 toasters etc.....

Answer 11

I think they are a good idea in theory because you know that people want to give you a gift and it's always nice to be given something you actually want.
In reality they are not so good, I had mine at Argos (HIGHLY UNRECOMMENDED!) and half of the stuff I wanted was always out of stock so I ended up with loads of gift vouchers instead and then when I went to try and buy the stuff I wanted with them they were STILL out of stock!! In hindsight I would have used M&S or Debenhams as they are far more professional and the quality is a lot better too.