i m from a very conservative family n i too think its not right but he is traveling 4 three days just to meet me, n we re goin to attent a marriage of a comman friend . just one month before should i surrender?? even i m tempted wid this thought but thinkin about morals n athics. both of us r virgin . my parents know nothing about this meeting. should i break their faith ??? i dont want to break my fience heart too.
2007-04-23 19:57:15 · 25 answers · asked by vanice 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hold onto it, it's only a month and you will have the satisfaction of knowing you went to your wedding bed pure.
you've waited this long, what's one more month?
2007-04-23 20:00:22 · answer #1 · answered by control 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Spending a night together should necessarily NOT mean to have sex. If you or your husband-to-be mean that, it is not a good idea. Further, you are not convinced about it and your family too does not approve it. You are not surrendering to him; you are in fact, surrendering to a 'weaker moment'. It would not be worth it.
You have stated that you are virgins and this means that you value the same. It is just a matter of one month and YOU SHOULD WAIT. Let me add that the sexual intimacy is more enjoyable when your mind & body is free of any problems. I do not find any reasons that you should be relaxed upon this time. No fun in breaking the faith of your parents over the matter. Believe me, it would be more enjoyable when you induldge after marriage.
If you mean to spend some quality time, there is no harm. You may induldge in a bit of physical pleasure as well (Caution: Know your limits).
And yes, discuss the matter with your fiancee. HE WOULD UNDERSTAND.
Best Wishes for your marriage!
2007-04-23 22:25:15 · answer #2 · answered by sharma.kulbhushan 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hy Vanice.
If you thinks that from this decision you are not satisfied then talk with your Fiance, I hope if he really loves you then he will . Because of spend a night with your Fiance you will really break the faith of your parents. Please dont spend a night with him, I know you both are trust on each other. but it can make you feel unsatisfied for a long time.
Suppose after spend a night with him you have the missunderstanding for any cause, then what will you do ?
Or If he find some points for which he will break the relationship then what will you do ?
So just think about your future. Dont do hurry to take any decision.
Best part of luck is always with you. Bye.
2007-04-23 20:43:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey, it sounds like you are reaching breaking point with this. You already know the answer, you need to talk to him, lay it on the line, tell him to change his ways or you're done with him. You should be having loving intimate sex at least twice a week. You cannot go on like this, its only a matter of time before you consider an affair otherwise. From what you say about yourself I would think you get plenty of offers. I hope it all works out for you.
2016-04-01 04:41:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It not a Big issue. It totally depends on you whether you want to go for it or not becoz ultimately your are going to spend your entire life with him and not your mom or your morals and athics. If he really want to go for that then u can go without hesitation. But before going just try to tell him once "Is this right before marrige" if he say "yes" he wants it then go for it. Just enjoy the party and not do it as if it is ur duty.
2007-04-23 22:45:55 · answer #5 · answered by Shakeel Ahmed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel that u should not let him do it. dont tell him right in the face that u cant do it, coz he might bring up a issue that if u dont believe r thrust him. try to convince him that its bad and if u guys get caught, then things may turn real ugly. but if u couldnt persuade him then tell evry1 that u r sick and go to a hospital and take rest 4 a month till yr marriage. some guys will insist on having *** before marriage but if u accept it, then in the future he might think bad of u, he might think if u would have done the same thing with some1 else before marriage, so dont do it, and tell him in a way that will make him understand, any more qurries mail to arul_143@yahoo.com
2007-04-24 00:57:32 · answer #6 · answered by z a a 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you waited all this time and now one month before the wedding give in, how are you going to feel about yourself?
If your true, inner conviction is to wait until your wedding night... you should follow your heart. If he loves you he will not be hurt or mad about this. If he loves you he'll be more than willing to wait another month.
He can stay in a hotel, or on your couch, or snuggle with you in your bed if you think you guys can control yourselves. But don't betray your true heart's desires this close to the finish line. You've got to be true to who you are. If you're questioning and wondering like this, you're probably not ready.
2007-04-23 20:03:51 · answer #7 · answered by Iris 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No.You should not. Today your relationship may be very good but in future he may torture you blaming that before marriage if you could surrender before me you could have also done such mistakes with somebody else also. That is the general attitude of our Indian husbands.So be careful. Don't indulge yourself in any such activity that will break the faith of your parents. You should spend your Suhagraat without any guilty feeling.
2007-04-23 20:20:31 · answer #8 · answered by VP K 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dear vanice,
In our lives we all come across many such situations but may be not as tough as this one.
It is highly commendable and praiseworthy that you have been able to curb your temptations.
You actually belong to a small minority of people on this earth today who have been successful in taming their temptations. Hats off to you!!
Take me for example. I had come across many instances in my life(although I'm just 19) where I was on the crossroads and had to decide whether to give in to the temptation or resist it. Everytime I decided that I'm going to postpone this decision to say another week.
Believe me, whenever I have looked back on my decision, I felt the most proud ever in my life that I didn't give in to that moment's temptation and have retained my virginity...
I had resolved to myself that I'll never lose my virginity before that D-day in my life and always pray to God to help me maintain that resolve.
Believe me, It feels so great at the end of the day to be able to have held on to yourself.
Ask the same thing to your fiance. Whether he feels the same way? Whether he would feel more happy if he were to do that act a month later? Whether he would like to give a better example(that of himself) to his kids in the future if ever such a situation crops up?
And lastly to you, whether you would be able to forgive yourself if your marriage and your entire future comes to ruins just because you could not wait for just one month?
You seem courageous. Now is the time to prove to yourself.
2007-04-24 08:26:20 · answer #9 · answered by Nakul Bansal 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well there are lots of teens losing their virginity, so If you want to you've held onto it long enough. Your parents don't need to know, I'm sure you're old enough.
this is your decision.
I agree with amber, you could still spend the night together, just without sex, just sleep by each other.
2007-04-23 20:02:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hv u talked abt this to him. If he respects u, he wl surely understnd ur feelings. if he doesnt respect now, then u can imagine wt ur fate will be later. But it is up to u to decide, wt to do. But i feel u can wait 4 one month till ur marriage, after u hv solemnised, u can b 2gether all ur life. y give urself for temptations now?
2007-04-23 23:32:17 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋