I started cutting again and i don't know how to tell my fiance. I am worried that he's going to blame it on himself. He's not the reason that i cut, but it's has something to do with it. How do I tell him? I have tried to stop and i can't. I cut on my stomach and he hasn't seen it yet. I am just affraid that he will and get really mad. SO I want to tell him before he sees it. help me please....
2007-04-23 19:23:16 · 14 answers · asked by sinoritalizz 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Your fiance is the only one that knows you, so to speak, and should be the one you can talk to. Don't keep this from him. Get help, but start by talking.
2007-04-23 20:16:39 · answer #1 · answered by EJ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should work on yourself in therapy LONG before you get married and get your issues out of the way or it is going to bring a lot of chaos into a new marriage. You owe it to yourself to get healthy first and you also owe it to him and the future marriage. Cutting is usually only the tip of the iceburg...but all things that can be sorted. He is NOT the reason you cut even though you may have legititimate issues with him. It would be very unfair to blame him for your cutting. Cutting is a coping mechanism that YOU developed but you can learn other coping mechanisms.
2007-04-23 23:19:15 · answer #2 · answered by rachel_waves 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. If part reason your cutting is because of him u need to really think about the relationship u are in. Most importantly if your scared about him being mad about something u have a problem with this is telling you he is not there for you because someone who cares about you and loves you wont get mad about this they will just to try to help. Doesn't sound like this is a good relationship just taking a hint from your writing
2007-04-23 19:29:35 · answer #3 · answered by africa c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel terrible for your dilemma. I had a close friend (back in high school) whom I have lost contact with her when she moved interstate… my last contact with her was when she informed me that her boyfriend had forced her to see a psychologist about her cutting. I had been trying to convince her to do the same for quite some time but she had been scared. When he found out he ensured that she got the help she needed. She informed me, upon my last contact with her, that she had not cut herself for a whole month. I was so proud: she had taken my advice when I had told her to tell him about her cutting.
When I had said was for her to look up exactly what the psychological condition was and explain it to him. Since this time, I have become a psychologist and I have discovered it for myself. Basically, what you call cutting, psychologists call “Self-harm.” We say that its purpose (to the cutter) is to relieve otherwise unbearable emotional pain. If you know the reason behind your cutting, then explain that to him so that he is not concerned that it is his fault – as you feared. Whether it is from past trauma, abuse, eating disorders or from other such matters, he will want to know.
My friend told her boyfriend that she was suffering because she had been emotionally and sexually abused by an older man in her adolescence and she had resolved to cutting to deal with the emotional pain. When her boyfriend learnt this, he was overcome with emotion and he made it is goal to take care of her. He loved her so much that he ensured that she got the help she needed and I believe that your fiance will do the same.
I hope I have helped. Best of luck.
2007-04-23 23:27:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chances are, he already knows. Men are a lot more perceptive than they let on. I remember having to tell my partner that I was bulimic, I just sat him down and gently told him. He still hit the roof, only because he loves me so much. I think that no matter how you tell your man, he will not react well. Just remember though, it is because he hates to see you doing things that are self-destructive.
I know kind of how he will feel. My sister is 15 and she has been cutting for about 2 years now, it is devastating for our family to know that she does this to herself and that there is nothing we can do. We know that she needs to work through it for herself, but it's still hard to know that it's happening.
The sooner you tell your man the better. At least that way there are no secrets. Good luck, I hope everything comes good for you.
2007-04-23 19:31:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. It's gonna be hard, but sometimes you just have to do it. Bring up something that relates to it, and slowly make your way to, "oh, by the way honey, I have something I need to tell you about." Make sure he knows that it's not his fault; it's an addiction just as difficult to quit as any other. Then you need to try to quit.
If you aren't already seeing a therapist, you need to start. I used to cut, and I am truly blessed that I don't have any scars. Believe me, it wasn't easy to quit, and I still get tempted to go back, but I feel better knowing that I don't have that vice. Unlike you, I cut on my arms, so I had to wear sweatshirts to cover it up. But, dear, it's not healthy, no matter how well you can hide it or explain it to your beloved. Find God, find your strength, and put away the sharp objects.
God bless.
2007-04-23 19:30:13 · answer #6 · answered by Megan Klein 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
some people at here will disagree with me and supply me a low score (regardless of) hear to me. Pot is a drug no count how some people % to curl & turn it. the sole way he can turn around and supply up the Pot smoking is that if he gets into rehab. no longer in straight forward terms has he push aside your thoughts yet he's disrespected them additionally. He flaunts it with the intention to make a mark and get you utilize to the belief of him smoking whilst he chooses. final analysis ... there'll continually be friends & associates & different Pot heads around so he could no longer end each time quickly. He maintains smoking because of the fact he chooses to stay "addicted to drugs" Get out of that courting. You deserve extra appropriate. good success.
2016-10-03 11:47:46 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Honey, I have this problem, I want you to get me help, cause I am not strong enough to do it on my own," that is what you say to him.
A friend of mine almost died from cutting. Dirty blade on his arm, got infected, put him in the hospital of a week on antibotics, doctors would not tell us his chances just kept saying- "we'll have a better idea what his chances are in an hour."
The hospital has a praisture sit with his family for two day.
Get help. If he loves you, he will bodily grab you up, stick you in a car and force you into treatment, if you love him- you will do it.
2007-04-23 19:29:30 · answer #8 · answered by Harmon 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
you should be talking to a therapist about this foremost. why add your bf into the mix? he doesn't need it and his reaction might be the last straw before your illness really takes hold.
seek help and keep it to yourself until you've at least tried to get it resolved.
2007-04-23 19:30:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to the docter
2007-04-23 19:32:25 · answer #10 · answered by SSS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋