Do I over-protect my grandson?

Question

I have a beautiful 3 year old grandson (my only grandchild). My Daughter thinks I am being over protected when it comes to my grandson's safety, He loves the water but can't swim. I got him a life jacket. He would wonder outside and my Daughter never knew he went outside..So I installed door alarms, I covered all the wall sockets when he tried to put a pen in the socket. I make sure the smoke alarms have good batteries.only to find out my Daughter would remove them because thay went off while she was cooking and forgets everytime to replace the batterie back into the alarm.
All I want to do is keep them safe. I buy all the things to keep my grandson safe while he's at home. But my daughter now thinks I'm being over protected and should back off,,,,I'm affraid if I don't do something..my grandson could be hurt very badly, Am I really to over protecting my grandchild?

Answer 1

Absolutely not! At least not with the things you've listed. The situations you just listed were serious issues that every 3 year old SHOULD be protected against. We had an old oven that set the alarms off every time we used it. Place easy to get to fans (just don't leave them plugged in!) near the smoke alarms, tell her to just aim one up when it goes off, it'll clear the smoke away from it and when it's gone can be turned off without removing batteries and the ability to detect a real fire. Toddlers/Preschoolers need constant supervision, in no way should he be able to 'wander off' outside without her knowing it, and if he does, than alarms would be my solution, too. I'm not sure if you're saying there's a pool at the house, but if there is, there needs to be an alarm on it (they go off when anything above a certain weight hits the water) as well as a TALL locking fence to keep him out. All our sockets are covered, and were covered BEFORE my son ever messed with them, it's a common safety practice, or you wouldn't see all those different kinds of plug safety devices.

I think being overprotective comes in when our desire to protect kids is so fierce they actually miss out on life's lessons and enjoyment because of it. You keep right on doing what you're doing, especially if she's not going to!

Oh, and in case you're hoping to show your daughter this, NO I am NOT a grandma, lol, I'm 25 years old and I have a 2 year old. :) So it's not just grandparents, the things you are doing are what every PARENT should do, and she's being lax in her duty if she doesn't. It may sometimes be inconvenient, or expensive, but what is her child's health, safety, his very life, worth to her?

Answer 2

Buying a life jacket, installing door alarms, and keeping hte smoke detectors working, is NOT by any means being OVERPROTECTIVE!!! Gosh, if I had a nickle for every parent who WISHED they had your sense of safety since their child was hurt, or worse... You are doing good things to try to keep your grandson safe... it doesn't matter that he is your grandson, or only grandson. Good, loving people, especially family, should be concerned with the safetyof the children in their lives. Perhaps you are coming off too strong to a point that your child feels you are insulting her parenting. Maybe she can use the vent when she cooks or have a fan nearby, or an open ventilated window to let out cooking smoke. Kids will put all sorts of things in a light socket. Some learn not to do it again, and soem don't. You should keep them covered anyway. If you live near a large body of water or have a swimming pool, yes, he needs a life vest. If it's just a kiddie pool, keep it to a few inches and ALWAYS keep him supervised no matter what. Children can drown in an inch of water... but you don't have to panic if he's just goint to sit there while you or your daughter watch him. Have a serious but comfotable talk with your daughter. Tell her how you feel and how you can both work together to keep your precious grandson safe. Good Luck!!! P.S. a good way to not forget to replace the batteries is to buy a con pouch with a wrist attachment. She can put the batteries in it and when she's done cooking, she'll still have them on her wrist so she'll remember to put them back. Using a vent is a better choice... and it does not go against fire marshall suggestions. Better yet, buy a small kitchen fire extinguisher and fire safety blanket, just talk to her and seriously, I know she'll come around once she realizes she is lucky to have a mom that looks after her and her baby!!!

Answer 3

Your daughter is irresponsible!!! She did not know that the child went out side!! OMG! What is wrong with her? She did not have the electric sockets covered? She did not have a fire alarm, and when you put one in she took the batteries out? Because she can't cook????? I would take the child away from her if that is all the better she can do. Did she not pay any attention to what you did with her?? She sounds like the kind of person that will be totally irresponsible and then when something happens it is poor me. I think that it is time that your daughter grows up. If it was something silly like washing his face too many times, or giving him candy too often, that's fine, but this poor girl has suffered enough. Good Luck with teaching your daughter how to be a good mother, Maybe send her to parenting classes.

Answer 4

It doesn't sound like it. Those are standard things responsible parents should do. If your daughter doesn't care when her own son wanders outside then you need to have a heart to heart with her, because her priorities are a little out of whack. And if she lives in your house, tough cookies for her. Your house, your rules.

Good luck, I hope you can work out your differences. Grandparents are valuable in a child's life, especially a loving one. You can't overprotect a child from real threats.

PS...Get her cooking lessons too if she's always setting off the smoke alarm lol.

Answer 5

Hi Sunshine,

you are doing all the right things. But I think this question is arising out of some conflict you are having with your daughter about the way you are being careful.

I suggest that you please sit down and talk to her.
Both of you need to understand that you are both displaying very different styles of caring (in this case, Baby Management).
Its perfectly okay to be the way you are, so long as you all understand that you are working to the same end-result and that being child safety.
Overprotection will affect a child only after they are about 5 or 6, when they are starting to discover their enviroment by themselves. At that point, you as a care-giver should step back and allow the child to go through the same learning process that you yourself underwent...
And most importantly, please don't worry about this... You need to enjoy the pleasure and un-adultrated joy and love that only a 3 year-old can bring into your life...

Answer 6

You are doing the right thing, however I think the child's mother should be doing it. When I was little I had a life jacket to swim in the pool and we have had alarms on the house since i could remember. It kept me out of trouble and it also made me feel safe. I am my parents only child and I am just as glad they worried about me so much, but my ? to u is, did you do the same things for your child? b/c if you didn't she might be feeling a bit jealous... but that is me...

Answer 7

I would not call that overprotection I would call that standard child proofing of a home. I would be more worried about a mother that did not pay enough mind to know that her 3 year old child had wondered outside alone. Sounds like a few parenting class are what the mother of this child needs.

Answer 8

What!!!!! You are being what I consider responsible and truly loving towards your grandchild. Your daughter really needs to get with the program and learn that her lack of common sense about safety could result in her child being injured or killed. If he's wandering outside without her knowing who knows what could happen, he could be taken or go in the street or get lost! I would really talk to her about this and maybe assist in getting her the help she needs to realize just how careless she is being. Thank god you are in this little boy's life!

Answer 9

I don't think so. 3 year olds shouldn't be in the water without a life jacket, and they shouldn't be outside by themselves even if they're "only in the front yard." Who knows what could happen.

More power to you for caring! Your not being over-protective at all!

Answer 10

NO! You are NOT being overprotective. The things you've described are things your daughter should have already done. It only takes a few seconds for something to happen. Let your daughter think what she wants. At least you'll be able to sleep at night.