Do I Give Off the Wrong Impression?

Question

I'm 21 and in university. I'm a pretty eccentric dresser, opinionated, smart, outspoken, flirtatious, with a pretty bad potty mouth. However, I am pretty conservative when it comes to what I want from relationships. I don't like going out, like to be along much of the time, and value honesty, integrity, and work ethic. I want a guy who doesn't have many friends himself, hasn't slept around a lot, is strongly family oriented, has strong values, and is respectful of women (these are the sort of qualities my dad has). At the same time I don't want anyone close-minded, conservative, religious, or anyone who wouldn't support my decision to dye my hair purple. Most of the guys I know are drunken party animals, and not my type. Do I give off the wrong impression or scare guys away that I may like?

Answer 1

Well, you turned me off when you said bad potty mouth.

Answer 2

You are really picky aren't you? I bet your problem is that you don't give a lot of guys a chance. You have an inner check list and if a guy doesn't fit one little thing on your list, he's out even if he was a great guy.

While there is nothing wrong with having certain expectations about who you will be dating, there is something wrong with being closed minded about it and desiring the perfect man. There is no perfect man. You might find that someone who doesn't fit every qualification for dating you might teach you something about life and yourself. It's not as if you are perfect in any way. It could very well be a great experience to date outside of your check list even if you don't end up in a long term and serious relationship with the guy!

You are in college, so have fun, shop around, don't get too serious right away and you might find yourself a worthy suprise.

Answer 3

If you're nit picky about the type of qualities your guy should have, then your selection becomes VERY limited. If you want a guy who allows you to dye your hair purple, then you should in turn have an open mind for what the guy wants to do and has to offer. Sure, he may not meet every single criteria of your expectations, but I'm sure he'll have more to offer. And if most of the guys you know are drunken party animals and if you don't like it, then that's a sign to make new friends.

Answer 4

Well personally I think your asking for too much. I'm 20 and in college so I know how the guys are but you shouldn't penalize a guy for having friends. He should just be willing to hang out with you over his friends sometimes. I have mostly the same values and look for some of the same qualities you do. It is completely normal for a woman to be attracted to someone like her father but you might have to be a little more open minded yourself to find a guy that would really suit you. Try joining some groups on campus so that you can meet guys with similar interests as you and maybe then they won't drink like a fish.

Answer 5

I would say that you and a conservative guy wouldn't be a good match anyway.

Be yourself, dye your hair, do what you want to do without worry about how others perceive you.
You will find someone who will appreciate your qualities and your opinions. Just don't turn him away because he is different though.

I sound like a fortune cookie.

By the way, your lucky numbers are... 3, 5, 8, 13, 21 and 16

Answer 6

Purple hair is going to scare away that type. I would think "wild" right away. Outspoken, opinionated and over excentric, even flirtatious, all of them are all scare away traits. It imediatly says even if your not a party girl that impression; and not intrested in values of those kinds. Your sending mixed symbols, but if you can quiet time with guys, they may see you quite different. Why don't you pick the guys? Did you put those traits down as a joke.... seriously put all of those in a guy what would you expect from him.

Answer 7

You seem to know what you want, and you'll find many smart guys are antisocial, however many highly intellegent people also are "party animals" due to the lack of other social interaction. I'm sure guys out there like you describe exist, and you're only 21, don't worry about it. Guys who are around your age can still act like 5 year olds at times, take it from a 23 year old kid, we're all a little crazy at times.

Answer 8

In my experience, the only thing that scares guys away is you seem to know who you are and what you want. Guys your age still aren't sure who they are and what they want in life or a relationship. Some aren't even ready for a more than casual relationship anyway. That's part of the whole college experience, I'm afraid. I would just continue doing what you like and being yourself. One day will come along when you find yourself someone who's not intimidated by a woman like you, and someone who's ready for the type of relationship you're looking for. Don't worry, it will happen.

Answer 9

I totally have the same problem! I, like, never talk to anyone except my close friends, but I've been thinking a lot about the subject recently. I don't think they think you're stuck up or mean, though. I've found that most (but not all) of the boys in my grade are not mature enough to care at all about personality at all. You sound like a caring person and have nothing to be shy, intimidated, or embarrassed about!

Answer 10

You do give off the wrong impression! There is light at the end of the tunnel! If you want to attract the kind if guy you are looking for, then do what it takes to attract him, not keep him away! Best Wishes!

Answer 11

To be honest, at 21 yrs of age you are still trying to figure out who YOU really are. This is proven by the hair, dress, attitude and choice of language at given times. You know what type of person you really ought to be and even want for your own but until you look like you are worthy of this type of person then how in the heck will he know you are HIS type of person.. So yes, dear, as you already know you give off the wrong impression but then again you are still getting to know YOU.