Me and my parents dont have a healthy relation ship.... i need to talk to a shrink and dont know how to ask...

Question

Hello I'm nearly 15 now and Ive been having a lot of problems and I don't know how to ask to get help..... I'm a football player at a major football school and i dont want my friends to know that im getting help because i would feel like a wack job...... i seem to hide my problems from everyone and party and try to drink my problems away sence about a year ago when my parents sepirated and sence then me and my dad have had major problems and my mother and i are moving back in with him now and i dont know what to say. i just need someone to talk to and i dont know how to ask..... PLEASE HELP.... ive built up so many friends... i had a huge temper in Jr.High and sence then i have learned how to control that and i feel that im going to lose it a lot now but insted of just yelling i could get violent and out of control. i feel like my life has changed so much and i miss the old days when i dident have to think of how things would go on my cred.... god just help.... please help

i got to a small school.... going to a larger school next year and i dont like our Counselor, she annoys me....i need to know how to ask my parents

Answer 1

You do really need to see somebody about your problems, and before it does become out of control. My best suggestion would be is to speak to your Doctor, they can refer you to someone. And you know, you can see someone your friends dont know about. Besides you would be surprised at how many of your friends maybe seeing a councillor. Dont be embarressed about how your feeling, cause your feelings are what everyone goes through in their lives. It may not be during school years, but it will happen. Do you have a best friend? usually people have someone they can trust and can confide in about their problems. Its good that you can control your anger. However if you keep this all bottled up inside you will be a time bomb waiting to go off. Its also good that you have recognised the signs that maybe triggering your anger. Alot of people dont say they have a problem and right now you have said you have a problem, your on the right track to getting help. There is usually a school councillor at schools, so my advise would be to you bight the bullet and go see them. Its confidential and you can see them at lunch time, or even during a free break. Good Luck and I hope you find someone to help you.

Answer 2

First, you are NOT a whack job. Generations ago, people didn't need shrinks because they were surrounded by aunts and uncles and grandparents and could get a half dozen people to talk to and get opinions. We don't have that any more and that's where the professionals come in. The number of people seeing counselors is huge. That said, I don't blame you for wanting to keep it private. But keep in mind, if someone finds out, they are going to mess with you. Believe that seeing a counselor is the right thing and that nothing is wrong with you. Then, have a good comeback ready, so if it happens, you've got something bright, witting, and preferably funny to say like "the voice in my head told me not to tell you." start laughing and change the subject.

As for your folks, unless you believe that they are unreasonable people, be straight up with them and tell them you'd like third party help to get you through some tough times and college stress. If your folks have insurance to cover it, the insurance company may be able to provide leads. Also, your family physician will be able to give you a good lead.

We all hit dark times. I hit a period of too much stress and it resulted in severe depression. Thinking positive thoughts is nice, the problem is that my body could no longer produce the chemicals it needed to keep me in the light. Counseling got me through it.

You can do this. You will make it through the other side. I'll leave you with two thoughts, one is a quote from a song that's out "if you're going through hell...keep on moving...you might get out before the devil even knows you're there."

And one of my favorites "it's always darkest...right before you find the light switch." The light switch is out there for you. The counseling will help you find it. You can do this.

Answer 3

First off-kudos to you to realize you are headed down the wrong path and need to get some help. Growing up is hard enough without adding a challenging family situation and alcohol into the mix.

I would strongly encourage you to tell your parents, or at least one of them, how you're feeling and let them know you'd like to get some help. Odds are, they'll support you 100%. In fact, you mention you've had a temper issue since Jr High; they probably are well aware of that, and maybe just never knew how bad it really was, or what to do to help you (parents aren't always mind-readers, nor do they always have every answer) You coming to them and saying "hey, this is what I need" may actually be a relief to them.

If that's not an option for you right now, or you are simply too uncertain about how they'll react, if you're in the US I know of 2 other possibilities:

1) School counselor. If need be, do it in note form (saying basically what you've said here), so your friends don't see you going into his/her office. Then, go from there.
2) Your local mental health center/community counseling agency (In our phone book, they can be found listed under both Social Service Organizations & Counselors) It may differ from state to state, but where I live, a youth can go talk to someone free for up to (I think it's) 5 visits-and their parents don't even have to know. NOTE: I do NOT encourage this kind of secrecy! However, if you aren't comfortable going to your folks right now, the counselor may be able to help you find a good way to do so.

Again, you've done the right thing to begin to reach out for help...that says something about you. Something very positive. You can't get help unless you want help...and it sounds like you do. Now, you've got to make that next step; hard though it may be....You CAN GET THROUGH THIS!

Answer 4

Perhaps you should downgrade your relationship with your girlfriend! Tell her that you would like to see other girls and that you would also like to see her as well, but the way things are now you don't really see the relationship going any further. She will most likely balk and want to break things off entirely, but you HAVE to be true to how you feel, and if you already are seeing some one else, that speaks volumes about how you feel! You are correct when you say that you still have alot to experience, what with only being 20, you should refrain from entering any committed relationships until you are absolutely sure "this one" is the "one". The fact that your g/f lives an hour away and has a kid makes building a relationship with her cumbersome at best! Just remain free and go out and live a little, you still have plenty of time to find the girl of your dreams and become a father to your own children! PS: ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM, ALWAYS!

Answer 5

I had to go to someone when I was your age but it was something that my parents decided for me, and it helped me out a lot. Tell your mom what you are feeling and that you want to see a shrink she should be understanding and set you up an appointment. Just remember though that partying and drinking isn't going to make things better, it just makes it all worse. Trust me I have been there, except I was not worried about what others thought of me, I did what I wanted and I had a reputation where half the kids in school would stay away from me, thinking that I would lash out on them next, my temper was bad. Going to talk to a shrink was a good thing for me, it could be for you to since it is something that you want to do. Just tell your mom that you need someone outside of the situation to talk to and that you think you need to go to a shrink she should help you. I think talking to your mom would be the best thing to do, since you and your dad are kind of on rocky terms.

Answer 6

Alrlighty honey, from what I gather, the school counselor is out because everyone will know and they'll want to know what is going on. Then you can't talk to your mom or dad because of the situation. On top of that you are angry, confused, life is changing, highschool drama is insane and you are on the brink of releasing that testosterone that is only building with age. Am I anywhere close? Because if so, you aren't alone hon. I have a fifteen year old son who goes through the same thing. The sad thing? he seems to think he needs to keep it all bottled in too. Probably out of embarassment and because everyone seems to think that he shouldn't have any problems. As a social worker, I know that is not true, but with him being my own son, he can't open up to me. And I understand, I'm his mom....I probably create some of those problems. So here's what I do. Every month, I buy him a journal. He's not forced to write in it, nor do I bring it up when he's in one of his moods, but I do see him writing in it quite often. We talked about it once and he said it actually helps him think things through and put them into perspective. If you can't talk to anyone, try that. If that's not good enough a simple note on the fridge saying "mom, I'm having issues...need a therapist" is going to be a real eye opener for her and she'll either take the steps she needs to get you that help, or she'll knock herself silly trying to help you work through the problems. Parents are people too sweetheart. Believe it or not, we've gone through the same struggles you have. And alot of times we didn't want to listen to our parents' advice either. They already know the family situation is stressful. Just keep in mind that they are your parents....they are there for these types of things. All you have to do is let them know.

Answer 7

You really need to talk to your mother about getting help. If your mother is not an option, talk to the counselor. Tell him that you prefer to keep the situation private, but you feel that you may need some help dealing with this situation. Don't put it off and ruin your life. It won't be long before you can escape by going to college.

Answer 8

look in the phone book fro therapy and couseling. Therapy is confidential in most cases. You dont ever have to tell your friends unless you want to. talk to your mother.
and whenever you find a therpist or some one similar to talk to ask about doinf some family thareapy as well as individual therapy.
Your not alone by the way. Ive had to go through therapy as well as other treatments for the past three years straight.
I hope you are able to find someone who you can spill your heart out to, so you can get help.
Your in my heart and prayers kid.
and again ill tell you your not alone.

Answer 9

Do you have counselors at your high school? If you make it clear to them that you don't want your parents to know, your high school counselor might be able to talk things over with you, or s/he might be able to get you in touch with a sliding-scale therapist.

Or, you might want to Google "sliding-scale therapist" and the name of your town.

Answer 10

Just tell them that you are confused/ stressed about some things and then ask if you could go and talk to someone.