AGREE or DISAGREE -- -- "Spare the rod, spoil the child"?

Question

Wow.... a lot more people than expected have no idea what this means. I'm not asking if it's a good idea to spoil a child... I'm asking if corporal punishment is an acceptable method of correcting bad behavior in children.

Answer 1

As a physically abused child, I can say one thing for sure. Striking a human being (particularly one you love) will make that human being resent you, regardless of whether it is your child, parent, sibling or wife. As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing more damaging than being inexplicably hurt by those who proclaim to love us. The scars last forever.

(PS - I have to say I am SHOCKED at what percentage of people in this day and age still find hitting children acceptable. I am greatly saddened and disappointed by this. You people need to break the abuse cycle and learn there are better ways to illicit the behavior you want. I have three nephews, and neither of my sisters have EVER hit their children, and they are well behaved kids.)

Answer 2

Ok, correct me if I'm wrong but isn't this an "if-then" phrase? As in, "If you spare the rod, then you'll spoil the child"? If so, too many of these answers make little sense.

I think we could all point to instances such as "My friend was beating and he's cool" or "My cousin never got touched and look how she turned out." But these do not answer the question. As of yet, there is no evidence that hitting children benefits them in any way, so until then, I think I'll refrain.

Answer 3

Remember that much of the Bible language is filled with symbolism, allegories and metaphors.

The "rod" represents the word of God, or the correction of parents/loved ones, or an actual stick. That does change the meaning quite a bit.

As a mother, I know that secure children are given very clear guidelines and rules, with clear-cut consequences. They need this like they need affection. Most children who do not have limits are either very insecure or behave horribly.

Edit:
In answer to your clarification, there are a few rare instances when I will spank-when there is absolute defiance or when a child has put himself or others in real danger, for example. But spanking only stops unacceptable behavior. After the spanking is when teaching begins.

Answer 4

I dont have any children, so I couldnt speak with any authority on the subject. But I do know what God's Word says. And in considering more of the 'whole counsel of God' in other words, not just taking one scripture and basing a complete thesis on a given subject, I think it is a good thing to correct children corporaly. But never out of anger. If a child 'knows' that his parents truly love him or her (integral) then when the spanking does come, they will instinctively know that is for their good. If you are a christian, and I asume that you are, then you know that God corrects his children. And it isnt always a pleasant correction. David thanked God for his personal afflictions, because he knew that God was all wise and didnt want him to suffer more as a result of his own sin and rebellion. I didnt recieve any corporal correction from my parents except occasionaly out of anger. I was left to myself for the most part. I would get grounded or sent to my room, at which time I promptly crawled out of the window. I dont want to tell you the horror stories of my life. My parents were bad parents, and I was a wild one to boot. It took a lot of very hard times, and the love of a loving, caring Saviour to finally make a difference.

Answer 5

Agree - to a point. A swat on the bottom is a wake-up call for the child, a beating that leaves a child bruised and broken is child abuse, and should be punished to the full extent of the law. There is a difference between a spanking and a beating. I

Answer 6

Agree. Children are from birth, parasites. They have to learn the world doesn't evolve around them and the quickest way for them to learn this is by the use of force. However, that same use should not be used against them all their childhood. A child has to learn that there are good people and there are bad people while still at home so they can also learn how not to be one of the baddies themselves.

Answer 7

Man and Wife are to Discipline their child,The Word of God says you don"t Love your child if you don"t:
I must state here That Discipline always looks ahead:
Punishment only looks back;This is to be administer in Love;

There are a whole lot of Parents that only Discpline child when child embaress them.The Men some, not all ,are A.W.O.L. abesent with out Leave, So no telling who looks after the Baby.God still holds Man Accountable.

Answer 8

For correction

Pro 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Answer 9

I have seven children. All seven of them were spanked when they stood toe to toe and eyeball to eyeball with me and dared me to take action. All seven of them have grown up to be respected by their peers and people older than them, and loved by those they meet. My wife and I have received many unsolicited comments from people in stores as we shop that our children are well behaved and respectful toward others.

We handle discipline this way. We first let our child know the reason for the discipline, we assure them that we don't like to use a paddle and it is equally stressful for us but that we love them enough to discipline them for the unacceptable behavior
and because we want them to grow to be godly children and then godly adults, we apply the spanking - I pray, "God give me the strength to give just what is needed. Not too little and not too much.", then after the spanking we assure our children
that we love them and hug them. As they get older we don't have to explain why the discipline is coming because they already know.

Here are some comments from my children given in notes to my wife and I -

Dad; Thank you for putting up with me for the last 19 almost 20 years. You are a wonderful father and noone will ever take
your place in my heart. I love you more than words could ever
express. Even though I say stupid things to you sometimes, you are a wonderful role model and I am so glad to be your son. Love always; Your son Richie

Mom and Dad; Happy 24th Anniversary! Thanx for putting up
with me for 22 of those years. I love you. Sam

Mom and Dad; Thank you for everything you've done for us and bringing us up the way a child should be raised. We love
you both very much! Your loving children; Sam, Chris, Richard, Kristine, Abigail, David and Sarah

Mom and Dad; We all love you both very much. We may get you frustrated sometimes, but we know you love us. The kids

Dad; We all prayed for you today. All of "are" family prayed for you.

Dear Dad; I love you dad forever and ever. From Kristine
can I use your sleeping bag?

Dear Dad; I hope you like this early birthday present. Thank you for being the best dad that there could ever be. I love you a big much! Chris

Dad; You mean so much to me! I love you a lot. You're an awesome dad! I praise God a lot for you. Chris

I have the front of my Bible full of these kinds of notes. By the way, the spankings were sometimes offset by mercy when a spanking was necessary.

The Bible tells me that spanking will deliver my children from Hell. I think that is pretty important! Wouldn't you?

I worked in ministries where there were children addicted to drugs and alcohol. Some of them were as young as 11 years
of age. Many of them told our staff members that they never had discipline in their home, and they believed their parents didn't love them because they didn't discipline them.

Discipline done in love and genuine concern will build good character in a child. The new age philosophy that spanking damages self esteem is a lot of quackery! Many people have
swallowed this lie hook, line and sinker. Perhaps if we have enough Columbine's and Virginia Techs, enough suicides, enough bratty cursing children, enough defiant rebellious kids
forming gangs and roaming our streets, enough children drunk and on dope, enough children robbing stores and banks, enough teen age pregnancies and abortions, and whatever else it takes to wake up parents to the need for discipline we will return to biblical principles of discipline.

I am thankful that God moved me from a drug dealing hippie to a parent that cared enough to raise my children in the nuture and admonition of the Lord. If you read the notes from my children above you will see that they are thankful too.

Doesn't that say anything to you?


EDIT: I FIND IT EASY TO BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE WOULD GIVE A THUMBS DOWN EVEN AFTER MY CHILDREN'S TESTIMONIES TO THE EFFECTIVENESS OF DISCIPLINE. FOOLISH PEOPLE AND OPINIONATED PEOPLE CANNOT STAND TRUTH EVEN WHEN IT IS STARING THEM IN THE FACE AND IS PROVEN FACT.

Answer 10

Disagree. I turned out okay without "the rod."

Besides, is it the rod that's being spared?