wedding issues.. please help?

Question

1) I told my best friend that her daughter would be one of my flowergirls, and her son would be my ring bearer. My fiance's daughter is going to be a flowergirl (she'll be five by the time it happens and my friend's daughter will be 2). My only problem is that I don't think she'll walk down the aisle like she's supposed to. How do I tell her that I don't think her daughter should be a flowergirl without upsetting her?
2) My maid of honor and one of my bridesmaids have tattoos on both of their forearms. How do I ask them to either decide to wear gloves or to cover their tattoos without seeming rude? Because all the girls would have to wear gloves if that's what they decided.
3) I am having trouble finding a dress that would look good on all the bridesmaids(they all have different body types), and colors that they all can agree on (only 2 colors, the maid of honor gets a different color than the rest). Any sillouets that compliment everyone?

Thanks in advance!!

For those who asked why I asked my best friend's daughter to be in my wedding, I didn't. I asked if her son could be my ring bearer, and she said "well what about brianna? can't she be a flowergirl" and I didn't want to be rude and say "uh, no, she'll only be 2". And for those who said "didn't you know about the tattoos before you asked them to be in the wedding?" again, no. They got those after I got engaged and had already asked them to be in the wedding. I asked them last June when I got engaged, and they got them last fall.
For those who offered advice, thank you!

Answer 1

1)
Why on earth did you ask for a TWO year old to be your flower girl? You will OFFEND the mom regardless of how "nicely" you ask.
2)
Didn't you know that they had tatoos BEFORE you asked them to be in the wedding?
3)
keep searching, you will find the right dress.

YES, this is your day, but it is also a day for your family and friends to stand up for you and to show there love for you. Don't ruin it by becoming Bride-zilla!

EDIT:

Thanks for clearing those questions up. You did NOT ask the 2 year old to be in the wedding, so you don't have to allow her to be in it. Can she have a little part, like perhaps walking down the isle in her Mom's arms in a pretty little dress and perhaps dad getting her and taking her to the nursery during the ceremony. Just trying to come up with alteratives to keeping the friendships.

GET THE GLOVES. If they ask, tell your friends that you think that they will add class. Since you did not know about the tattoos beforehand, you have can add the gloves and should be fine.

what about dresses in the same color, but different styles to flatter each person.

Good luck.............in the beginning, I thought that you were really going overboard, now, I see that things changed on you.

Answer 2

What I recommend is since he is 2, have the plan of having both girls be flowergirls. Play it by ear. If she changes her mind the day of, fine--no big deal. You still have a flowergirl. Or allow the 2 siblings--flower girl and ring bearer to walk hand in hand and have the older real flower girl go afterwards and throw the pedals. A 2 y.o. isn't going to throw the pedals anyway.

Probably you didn't plan on having the friends children stand up there for the whole wedding. You figured they would go back to sit with their mother right? So it wont matter if the 2 yo is crying and decides she doesn't want to walk.

But no I wouldn't tell your friend you don't want her daughter. You asked her. You can't politely say "nevermind I take it back".

As far as the maid of honor and bridesmaids--thats easy. You are the bride. If you decide they each wear gloves--they do. But you have to have all the bridesmaids wear gloves, not just 2 of it will be weird. But I'd just sit down with the girls and ask them if they know of any makeup that will successfully cover them for the wedding day. Most people with tattoos on a visible area are more than used to having to cover them up--frequently for work and interviews.

What are their body shapes? My cousin had some rather large friends as bridesmaids and she took the 2 that had the most different shapes dress shopping. That way she could instantly see the dresses on them. My sister was my bridesmaid and she has had plastic surgery, so they are rather large. Every dress I kept selecting did not cover her at all! They looked horrible. She went dress shopping a couple times on her own and ended up picking a gorgeous dress (the dresses I went with in the end). Usually A-line dresses (sometimes called princess silhouettes) look good on everyone. It flows away at the waist and hips so camoflauges larger waists and hips. Halter tops in general flatter a lot of different shapes as well. I'd take whichever has the hardest shape dress shopping--regardless as to if she is the MOH or not. As for the MOH, since she is having a different color, there is no reason it cant be a slightly different neckline as well. Pick whichever flatters her.

As for the color, honey you are being too nice. Bridesmaids don't get to pick that. You pick the colors you like. Don't worry about them wearing this dress again. I can promise you they won't. However, darker colors and jewel tones flatter the most skin tones.

Answer 3

1) My step niece was only 2 when she was flower girl for her mom's (my step sister) wedding. They said she walked half way, stop and cried. New people, lots of people and it was "different" for her. Everyone thought it was cute and they comforted her, but helped her walk down the rest of the way, which she did.

It all depends on your status, but you should of been honest and upfront from the begining. Now comfronting might cause waves, but then again, it might not if she is understanding her age is a factor in this.

What you can do is offer another special duty for her. (there can be a such thing as ring girl for holding the bride's ring in a special box or pillow etc). or having her walk with another bride's maid etc.

Or you can have the oldest help coach her down and encourage her (distracting method) to throw flowers (kids love this!) by both holding the basket inbetween them.

but if you feel this is too much to try to do, simply be honest and address your concern whether she be ready for such a big event.

2) I think it is considerate to ask them to cover them up. After all, don't want them in your photo albume 20 years from now showing tattoos. Especially if they got them after you asked them. I think the appropriate is to have gloves, just remember, they can come off during reception, which camera's are going to capture one way or another. Therefore, ask if material (dress) can cover it up or if they can apply special make up to cover it up.

I think it is rude to be invited to be in a wedding, get a tattoo on a location that will be seen, and expect to wear a dress and have the tattoo's exposed like that.

3) Depending how many and what your color theme is, will depend on the dress. I have been to weddings where they had the same color, but different dress styles (halter top, sleevless, strapless, spegstrap). some people are not appealed while others find it an easy solution to body types.

it is a toughy situation and sometimes you have to go to a few places to find them. or something you have to buy each dress at a diffferent location.

Answer 4

You just have to say gently and firmly that the two year old is too young.
For the tatoos, some on this site have suggested makeup, but that doesn't sound practical. Gloves would be pretty, if done right, or go with long sleeves.
If the body types are really different, maybe just choose a color and let the girls choose dresses that suit their bodies. I've seen this done and looks nice, with for example, one wearing strapless, one wearing sleeves, one with a little jacket... Somehow for my wedding, we lucked out - had girls in sizes 5, 7, 15 and 17. The dress was scoop necked, short sleeves, straps crossed in back - but what saved the day was the dress had a dropped waist, going to a full skirt, which covered the tummies of the bigger girls, and yet looked great on the smaller ones.

Answer 5

1) You can have more than one flower girl. I say go ahead and let the young one walk down. Chances are that she is going to either chicken out or not do it right, but it will be cute and add character to your wedding. If you are totally opposed to having her do it, then just tell your friend that you would love to have her daughter, but your fiance would be upset with you if you didn't have his daughter.
2) Just simply say, "hey lets see what the gloves look like" and after they put them on say "wow, yall look much more elegant" and they will agree with how you want it. It is your day and if they are friends enough for you to chose them, they are friends enough to wear them. Don't say anything about the tattoos unless it comes to that. I have a tattoo that I am trying to cover up for my wedding and it is on my upperback a much harder place to cover.
3) Again I am having a similar issue. The best thing is chose a material that is not clingy, since I am guessing someone might be a plus size. David's Bridal has alot of plus size bridesmaids dresses (that are also made for the smaller sizes) that are not expensive. I would chose the colors for their dresses. It is your wedding and it is your choice. Get them to try on different colors and tell them they look best in one you like. They will hopefully agree and be happy.

Hope this helps and good luck!!

Answer 6

I hate to tell you this and it's sad to hear it but in theory you can't cancel the wedding sweetheart. Since the vendors already have the deposit if you canceled now or even moved the dates around if you canceled the vendors wouldn't give you your money back and I think if you switched dates you'd have to pay a deposit again not sure though. But heres what I suggest either get a loan and pay it back after get a credit card I hate to say that or if possible is there anyway that you can cut down costs in some areas of your wedding I hope this helps and I'm so sorry

Answer 7

1) why not choose both girls and have them hold the flower basket together and both put petals down. maybe let them get to know each other a little bit first and then it wouldnt be so scarey
2) Personally i think if you care about the friends you chose you should except them for who they are and not worry about tattoos ..all eyes will be on you anyways right?
3) Next chose the colors YOU want but dont chose a color thats gona look awful like bright orange or something. Then get dresses that match color but can be slightly different styles for the different body types. congrats on the wedding btw :)

Answer 8

yikes... I believe this is called Bridezilla...
anyway-
1) You can't UNask someone to be in your wedding without offending them. What, you didnt realize the age of the daughter before you told the mom?? Have both kids be flowergirls, they can each have a basket and walk side by side- will be nice because they won't be scared if they have someone with them.
2) I think it would be rude to ask them to cover their tats... That's part of who they are, and if you love them enough to have them be in your wedding, you should love their uniqueness too!
3) Choose different dresses with the same color. Don't do one kind of dress because nothing looks good on everybody

Answer 9

1) I would just have two flower girls. Chances are, she will chicken out, it's not much of an added cost to give her the chance and let your friend feel honored.

2) it won't be rude to ask them to cover them up. Most likely they will understand. If they get upset, let them, they'll get over it.

3) Go with different style dresses in the same color if you have to. I think this looks cute.

Answer 10

You already said the 2 year old could be a flower girl so I would just let her. It will be cute.

gloves are very classy

Davidsbridal.com....you can do different style dresses in the same color. Looks cool I think. Boring when they all are wearing the same thing.