i need a real good advice about inter-racial marriage?

Question

here it goes..i come from a very punjabi sikh family who lives in other country...i've seen and suffered a lot with my family like husband beats up wife mother-inlaw nd daughter in law problems..all kind of problems that u could ever imagine to the point of one family member having a five year old girl sexually abused..now i sort of have a trauma with marrying a punjabi guy who will be arranged for..two years ago i fell in-love with a guy who is not indian..my family doesnt know anything about it..right now i live in US alone..my dad will be coming soon to visit me..i want to tell him every thing..but i know the pride and being closed minded he wont understand anything..what should i do?is it ok to marry someone who is not indian?do we really have to do everything that our society says even though we suffered a lot from that society?another thing my dad doesnt know everything i went through when i was a kid..i'm so scared of him coz until now he hurt my mom nd he used to beat us too

Answer 1

Neither Indian society nor the Indian Constitution nor the Matrimonial laws enacted under the Constitution ban any Indian Citizen to marry any foreigner or a person belonging to another race. Rather in India there are two matrimonial enactments that allows such an inter racial, inter religious, inter caste marriages. Any Indian Citizen living in India can go through such a marriage under the Special Marriage Act, 1954 and any Indian citizen living in a foreign country can marry a foreigner under the Foreign Marriage Act, 1969. Now these Act, are basically for Indian citizens but if you happen to be having another citizenship you can marry according to the rules & regulations regarding the matrimonial applicable there. As far Indian society of your family is concerned I don't think any one has to say any thing regarding this personal decision of yours if you are of marriageable age. Hope this will give some consolation to you & guide you to take your independent decision.

Answer 2

Its easier said then done

People like me wont understand that you are in a difficult situation.
You can marry anyone you like if you are an adult. But understand this that you have to take hard decision, if you wanna get out of the current situation.AndI think you should after reading all that you have written. Only thing to watch is, the GUY. If you think he is right for you and will support you all the way.

You really have to get out of this. Talk to your guy and ask him. Make some plans to how to cope up with the situation.

Your Dad may get u married with a nice guy but if you already love someone(no matter wat race), there is no point waiting.

Go ahead Get Married
With Best Wishes
Jeetu

Answer 3

take some time out to tell each other what you would consider to be your perfect relationship. Start by separately making a list of everything you perceive would be in a perfect relationship.

Some examples may include the following...


We both enjoy a sunset dinner one time a month.
He helps with housework when I need it.
She makes dinner every night.
We make love at least three times a week.
We always kiss before parting.
She asks how my day went.
He gives me a hug first thing when he comes home.
Make your list as detailed as possible. Add everything you think of, even it feels insignificant or silly. When you're done compare lists. First, look for common items that appear in both lists. Those should be the first things that are placed in the final list.

Then, talk about your other ideals and come to compromises or agreements as to whether to keep them on the final list or not. When you are done you will have a blueprint for your personal perfect relationship. Whenever things start to feel off-track, take some time to review your list together and see where things have changed from your original thoughts and considerations. It is much easier to see where things have changed, and communicate your concerns to your partner, when they are written right in front of you.

Answer 4

I'm punjabi too, and I know that on rae occasions arranged mariages have turned out like you said
The best advice i can give u is to meet someone yourself..knowing punjabis, i don;t think its a good idea to marry a gora or someone...just because of how your parents are...meet a punjabi guy but get to know him REALLY WELL
It's ok to marry someone not punjabi, but there are a lot of nice punjabi guys...i think that'll go down better with your parents
: )

Answer 5

I'll assume that this is a sincere question. I had a dark-skinned Mexican-American for a roommate in college, and someone once "accused" him of being attracted to blonds. He answered "Why wouldn't I be attracted to blonds? They've been held up to me by the media as symbols of beauty and desirability my whole life." In other words, your gf is an American, and she wants to look like the American symbol of beauty -- a blonde. That's not selling out her culture -- her culture is American. On the other hand, the "ebonics" you refer to is an expression of class and socioeconomic status. Educated black people don't speak that way, so it would be patronizing and condescending for you to speak that way. Look, race has nothing to do with relationships unless you make it. You're a guy who likes a girl -- period. You're both Americans (I presume), which means that you can be anything you want to be. So quit telling her to conform to YOUR idea of her culture. She's conforming the HER idea.

Answer 6

In inter-racial marriages, Initially u have 2 face many obstacles & tough challenges.
And u r success is depends purely on u r true love.

Answer 7

now you are a grown up.do not afraid of your dad,you have a right to marry according your will.tell him everything,it is must to tell and tell somebody else to examine your guy because you bank upon anybody who is away from you.