My maid of honor was engaged b4 me but it just so happens I am getting married a year b4 her. The problem 1st began when choosing colors. She was upset because I was thinking of using a color she MAY use 4 her wedding. She was undecided btwn peach, coral, burnt orange & some others. Therefore, I was not allowed to use any of those colors. Then she made a comment to me stating, when I came down the aisle she would cry because she would be thinking she was supposed to get married 1st. She told me she was just joking but I believe she really meant it. She offered 2 pay 4 our honeymoon 4 our gift. February she told me she would let us know...it is now the end of April and still nothing nor will I ask. Finally. came the favors. I found glass slippers at a great price because we have 350 guests so I needed something economical. She became upset bcuz 2 years ago, before she was engaged she mentioned she MAY want a Cinderella wedding.
2007-04-23 15:18:15 · 14 answers · asked by sjlova86 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am getting married in August of this year she is getting married June 2008. She has done nothing for me, nothing at all. She has not ordered her dress and at this point I don't I want her as my maid of honor because I feel as though she can not unbiased. When my wedding was going to small and quick everything was fine. Now that my wedding is becoming a bit nicer it seems as though she is becoming a bit jealous. She always makes things a competition and I am not like that at all. With all the stress she is causing me, is it wrong for me to ask her to step down from her maid of honor duties. Mind you she has not ordered her dress yet so she really wouldn't suffer a loss
2007-04-23 15:28:15 · update #1
I did not use the same colors, I changed them to avoid problems however I feel that I should not have to alter my plans for her since I am get married first and honestly I dont think it matters if we use the same colors
2007-04-23 15:30:08 · update #2
This same crap happened with me and my friend just a month before my wedding!!!!! Some people are just like this, there is really nothing that you can do to help the situation, I tried everything. We are not even friends anymore because she flipped out on me about the color, the tux, and the favors saying that they were all to similar to hers. Then she told me she was bailing out on me for my wedding and I had a week to find another maid of honor AND best man!
My fiance and I have been together and engaged a YEAR before they were engaged, our wedding is first, and yet she said that I was copying her on everything! This is what I told her; our wedding is not special because of the party favors, the style of the tux, or the color of our dresses our wedding is special because we love one another so quit trying to turn everything into a petty competition. All of this mess happened because she felt like I was taking attention away from her wedding.
My advice is to get a new friend!!!!!!! A wedding is a wedding and no two are completely different. OF COURSE some of it is going to be the same, tell her to GET OVER IT!!!!! She should be happy for you and let you have your moment, not comparing every detail of your weddings!!! She will have her day, but this one is yours and if she cant respect that and keep her mouth shut then she is no friend to you anyway!!!
Good luck girl, this is a common problem between friends and it seems no ending can be good for both of you!!! If you politley say something now before it escalates then you may be able to save the friendship!! Do not keep quiet until it gets really tense between the two of you, say something now. Tell her that her day is coming and when it gets here you will do everything possible to help make sure her wedding is different from yours as she should be doing for you!
2007-04-23 15:36:57 · answer #1 · answered by Natalie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a serious talk with this girl. This wedding is all about you; has nothing to do with this drama queen. She does not have a patent on any colors, nor the Cinderalla shoe. You do what you want, what is best for you. Anyone that cares about you will be in your corner, not sitting back comparing what you do to what she wants. If she is not in your corner, you may have found out the hard way that this lady is not your friend at all.
Have a serious talk with her, if she can not get with the program, drop her as Maid of honor and get someone else. Or do without it, the only people that must be there is you and your future hubby. She is stepping all over your plans, you dreams.
What is this about her paying for the honeymoon? That should be the job of future hubby. Ubless this girl is very rich, I am sorry to tell you. It aint going to happen. You better have a back up plan.
Keep in my, this drama queen not unusual. She is a little jealous. She needs to put it in check and work with you so that your day will be special. She is about to learn what comes around goes around. That is even if she still gets married.
2007-04-23 15:35:12 · answer #2 · answered by 2Cute2B4Got 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should be able to have whatever you want because this is your day. It is not your fault that she set her date so far away. I'm sure she's feeling a little jealousy because after all she did get engaged first, but on the same hand she shouldn't make you feel bad about something that you want. You have your wedding your way and next time she says something about a color she picked two years ago, just look at her and say >> I would never say anything like that to you! Flip the scrip in a nice way. And if she says anything about the color of a bridesmaids dress you pick, simply through your hands up in the air and say >> O.K. seeing I can't pick a color that makes you happy maybe I should just get a ugly pea green dress and my wedding will be ugly because your making me feel really bad...
You do what you want, it's your day, plan it and have fun with it. Don't let her mess it up for you!
2007-04-23 15:35:21 · answer #3 · answered by Flying w/ scissors 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow what a situation to be in. Have you told her that you feel this way? Perhaps she would like to get out of being your maid of honor....... In this particular case I think you should just plan on paying for your own honeymoon. If she is getting married in a year she needs that money anyways. Perhaps you could offer to do some planning for her wedding to take the focus off of you and onto her. Hope some of this helps.....
2007-04-23 15:45:26 · answer #4 · answered by JJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, your not wrong at all. you have every right to plan your wedding as you see fit and if she doesnt like it then thats too bad for her. like girl is picking the entire colour palate to try and keep you from settling on a colour. who cares if you use the same colour as her. I'm sure about a million other people will have used the same colours as her at some time as well. as for her comment on how she should be getting married first...thats her own fault for planning a wedding so far away. you shouldnt have to put off your date to accomodate her...and as for the wedding favours..thats just stupid! you go out and you get those slippers and you use them as wedding favours because they were by no means her idea. I would ask her to step down if she doesnt want to stop the drama and grow up. you dont need someone in your wedding who is trying to compete with you over everything. godd luck and best wishes to you.
2007-04-23 16:14:12 · answer #5 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-03 11:37:51 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not have to change your colors for her sake. Choose all the colors you want with whatever accessories you want.
Perhaps reconsider her as a maid of honor if she cannot stop being critical and jealous of everything
2007-04-23 15:46:00 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if your Maid of Honor is acting out in a very childish way. Is she normally a spoiled brat or is this unusual behaviour?
If it were me, I would ask her if being my Maid of Honor was so difficult that she couldn't just let me happy. And then I would find a different Maid of Honor.
2007-04-23 15:27:01 · answer #8 · answered by TarotByArwen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We recently had to bring our wedding forward which put it 3 weeks before one of my close friends. I was abit worried about it but - like a true - friend she is happy for me and knows I'll be happy for her. We have had heaps of fun comparing costs and favors, flowers and patterns and have shared and bounced ideas off each other. This is your wedding, do it your way and let her worry about hers. I would also seriously think of replacing her as a bridesmaid and she may try and upstage you on the day.
2007-04-23 15:33:17 · answer #9 · answered by Lise Wisey 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think tha this is not a person who is making your life better, do you? You have enough to worry about with 350 guests so i dont think considering her wishes is one of them. I think she told you she would pay for honeymoon to have control of you. But anyway enough drama! Can you rise above this and enjoy the preparation for the biggest day of your life ? I hope so .
2007-04-23 15:25:40 · answer #10 · answered by barthebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋