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i had a lil girl at the age of 20 she is 13, Addie,and adopted one about 9 months ago and she is 3, Arianna, and 2 weeks ago my husband died. and yesterday i found out that i am pregnant with his kid! and i am hoping its a girl because he always wanted one of his kids named after him so i really wants to name her Alexhope but aside from that do you have any suggestions on how to get my 13 year old through the tough of losing her dad and have a little 3 year old sister and a new one on the way and any suggestions on how i can get through this?

2007-04-23 13:39:54 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting Parenting

7 answers

hospice programs, sorry for you loss. maybe some therapy or outside help. let your children talk about him and give them a happy rather then such a sad environment

2007-04-23 13:43:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I feel so bad for you. What a terrible thing to have to deal with and explain to your children. We try so hard to show our kids that the world is a happy and trusting place, and it's sad to hear when they have to endure such tragedy at a young age.

I think it is wonderful that you have found out you are having a baby. You can celebrate your husbands life along with the new life growing inside of you. I am sure he is overjoyed to know that he has left a part of himself behind. I think that having a baby at this time may be a blessing and that you can all show eachother the love that you need to during this difficult time.

Do you have a lot of friends and family that can help you? If not, a support group may be an idea. You can talk to other families that are going through the same situation.

Here is a link below from the YMCA about grieving and children.

I wish you all the best and even though this is an extremely difficult time, you WILL get through it, especially with the help of your children. You all need to stick together in this time of need and stay close. Lots of hugs and kisses and spending time together as you all heal.

2007-04-23 20:53:47 · answer #2 · answered by Sunny 2 · 0 0

Well you are in a very tough situation and your 13 year old, well they deal with things very differently than we do. My son was 13 when his little sister passed away and he was sad for a few days but has gone on with life as if nothing ever happened. I know a father and sister are two totally different people but the closeness and family togetherness is the same. See how she acts and look into counseling and have a plan in case you need it but you might not, life is so unfair and unpredictable. I'm sorry for your loss but happy for your baby on the way. The say God doesn't give us more than we can handle and believe me I question that everyday. Good luck

2007-04-23 20:48:05 · answer #3 · answered by B 5 · 0 0

Sincerest sympathies from a complete stranger, who stumbled across Answers and found your submission.

Just as everyone is different, so does the mourning processes we experience when faced with the loss of a spouse/parent, beloved relative or close dear friend.

It's been two weeks---fairly too soon for anyone aware in your family (or anyone else, for that matter) to pass through the mourning process; no one really "gets over" such a loss--we manage to carry on, as our deceased loved ones would want us to.

Assure Addie that you also will miss her dad being around, but that in heart and spirit---he's still around. No one completely dies and totally leaves us behind. And be sure to tell Addie that she'll naturally discover this. And with the pending arrival of this new baby, he or she will ALWAYS be a part of her deceased father...who will also be around in spirit.

Name suggestion for a girl: Alexia Hope; for a boy: Alex Michael

Again, my thoughts and prayers to you and family, as you face the grey discolor of sorrow upon an otherwise happy life....one I hope soon heals and carries on strong.

2007-04-23 20:58:31 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0 0

First of all, I am sorry for your loss.
Next get your 13 year old in for counseling, if you can't afford it, get her a mentor (such as Big Sisters), or allow her to spend time with friends, maybe a sleep over at her friends. Surrounding herself with things may keep her mind off of the bad. Talk about her dad with her, remember the good times. Greive together and by yourself, but also think, you have a gift growing inside you and two more angles to look over. Mourn, but enjoy the kids and make time with them special.

2007-04-23 21:23:12 · answer #5 · answered by SINGLEMOM4 3 · 0 0

Well you need your daughter just as much as she needs you in a time of crisis and pain.
Your 3 year old will always cheer you up- toddlers have that specialness.
Whenever you are upset just think about the unborn child in you and how even though he's gone he left his mark on you- which is another child that you can name after him.

2007-04-23 20:45:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I'm very sorry for the lost to your family I really don't know what to say or how to help I can only say let them know you love them and are there for them . Let them know it's hard but he was needed for a good reason and he will always be in their hearts. I'm truly sorry .

2007-04-23 20:49:42 · answer #7 · answered by candy 1 · 0 0

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