I've been dating my bf for four months. Everything's great--he's wonderful to me, and his parents really seem to like me. We often spend time at his parents home, and they're always genuinely kind and gracious toward me. There is one thing which bothers me, however. I was hospitalized for depression 1 1/2 years ago. My boyfriend knows this, but his parents and brother don't. I'm worried if they find out, they'll think I'm some sort of crazy person and will forbid me to see him. If we ever were to become really serious (getting engaged or married), I think it's possible they would want to call things off.
Should I tell them only if things get serious? They are great people, but I'm not sure how they'd react. I don't want them to feel I lied to them.
I went to get the help I needed, not to have this hang over my head like a dark cloud. I would hate it if I were judged for being diagnosed with a disease I never asked for, and is incredibly prevalent in this country.
2007-04-23 12:25:47 · 9 answers · asked by curiogirl84 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Depression is a disease. There is no reason to be ashamed. Would your bf's parents not like you because you got the flu? Same thing. You got help and your better. End of story. If your bf is OK with it who cares what his parents think. I happen to think you are very brave. I suffer from depression and treat it daily with Cymbalta. My wife of 26 years and her parents are aware and support me 100%. Good Luck and congrats for beating this awful disease.
2007-04-23 14:00:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is cleary, if you are asked, do not deny it... if it isn't brought up than don't worry about it. You are only into a relationship by 4 months and it would be absurd for a family to expect you to share such a personal detail of your life. Eventually it will come out when your relationship with the family alone grows. What is important and the only thing that really does matter is that your partner knows and is ok with it. If he is truly the one, no matter what he will stick by your side and defend you. Depression is common, and you did the right thing by taking care of yourself. Do not get worried about other people's perceptions of this, you know what you did was right. There is no reason for this to be hanging over your head.
2007-04-23 19:35:04 · answer #2 · answered by Annie B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its really any of their business at this point. Perhaps, someday it might be. I've never been hospitalized but I was diagnosed with PTSD, mild to moderate depression and I have also suffered panic and anxiety attacks. If you don't need to know, I would never find reason to tell you...or anyone else!
2007-04-23 19:35:40 · answer #3 · answered by Jo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell them sooner, rather than later. Provide a lot of information to help them understand that it's not your fault and it doesn't make you "crazy". Once they know you, it shouldn't change their opinion of you to know one thing about your past. If they don't totally suck, they'll understand. It's not as big a deal as you're making it out to be, I think. I understand the concern. I'm bipolar, but I've never had anyone break a relationship with me over it.
2007-04-24 05:12:45 · answer #4 · answered by fiVe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was hospitalized whn I was 15 for bipolar and I never told my inlaws, not that I would mind them or anyone else to know. You didn't rob a bank, you didn't kill anyone, your not a criminal...you needed help and you got it. If more people would do this there wouldn't be Virginia Tech problems.
2007-04-23 19:46:03 · answer #5 · answered by steelgal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since bf knows , ask him when to tell .
Let him decide and by the way . . .
"they would want to call things off " ? ? ?
Which backwards , primitive country are you in ?
I have heard there are still countries where the parents choose instead of the couple ,
Where are you ?
And have you considered moving somewhere civilized ?
2007-04-23 19:36:45 · answer #6 · answered by kate 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry about it until the time comes. Just show them how fun and sweet you are and if they do find out, they'll love you by then that it won't even matter anymore.
2007-04-23 19:32:42 · answer #7 · answered by Sibyl 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
stop trippin', girl!! geesh... i know, i know... i understand how feel, but on the reals, you really shouldn't be too worried about what they think... they really don't have to know, you know... their son is an adult and he will be with whomever he pleases to be with - you... it is something you two will work out, not them... but they will find out eventually, but i don't think there's any point in worrying about it! ;-) keep your head up!
2007-04-23 19:34:21 · answer #8 · answered by Craigy Boi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you absolutely do not owe it to them to tell them this......anymore than his mom is obligated to tell you about her STD's, or his dad to tell you about his ingrown toenail...Don't worry about discussing this unless you have a depressive episode. It's none of their business.
2007-04-23 19:31:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋