need some godly advice regarding some issues I'm fighting with...?

Question

I've been playing with the sin of sex, I've been hating it, I've been convicted, yet like a dog I eat go back and eat my own vomit. My gf is also a believer but I'm afraid the devil has caused so much distruction in our spiritual lives as well as in our relationship, I'm 21, she is 20 and we are no longer going to church, we don't live together but I do want to marry her, I love her and she loves me, but there is doubt in my mind whether my relationship with her is gonna end up in diivorce due to the curse that we have broughen up ourselves through pre-marital sex. I don't know what to do, whether I should try and work something out where we can both be going to church again and at the same time STOP HAVING SEX, or should I end the relationship to insure no more sin in our lives.Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

First I would suggest you two go back to church. Staying away from church will only make things worse. You may also want to consider getting some godly counseling at the church. One key element in staying away from sexual activity is to avoid times and places where such is possible. The two of you should not be alone together in an apartment, for example. Unless other people will be there don't even go inside together. Furthermore you need to realize that two people who want to please God do not end up in bed with nothing going on before to build up momentum. Our modern culture has come to see making out as something separate from sex but it has traditionally been seen as part of the sex act itself. It is sexual foreplay and it very powerfully inclines us to keep going in that direction. You must stop every part of the sex act, including the socially acceptable foreplay, or you will fail again. Once you have this under control and are back in church you will both have a better understanding of what kind of future you will have together. God can clean up that past and give you two a bright future!

Answer 2

There are no guarantees as to whether your relationship will last. Even in the church, the divorce-rate is extremely high. But, that should not be a deterrent for you to do the correct thing if that's what you feel God is directing you to do.
As a believer, you already know the way - you need to confess and repent. And you definitely need to get back into fellowship with other believers. You should see if your church has a discipleship program where you could have an accountability partner to help you with this struggle. If not, then maybe you should find a church that does.
God bless.

Answer 3

Hey brother, I'm glad your seeking advice just remember that a lot of unbelievers on yahoo answers that will try to mock your sincerity.

I've gone through similar circumstances and let me tell you from experience if you are a believer you will reap what you sow. I to compromised by beliefs and gave into fleshy desires and a few years later I went threw the most damaging emotional trial. It was due to a compromise of my beliefs. And to this day I'm still trying to recover from my sins that I defiantly committed and let me tell you once you go down a road of compromise it is hard to get back on track.

Secular people will tell you not to change their ways and it is no wonder why the divorce rates are so high and woman in relationships are constantly abused. I think your concern for divorse is warented.

I realized that me must seek God first and he will full fill your desires in his own time. We can't put our relationships or anything else above God. I learned the hard way and I don't know if I'll ever be given another chance at finding someone pure.

That's my opinion if you want to know what God has in stored for you and your girlfriend keep his commandments and his plan will become more clear.

Answer 4

If you are in earnest about wanting to get right with the Lord, then do stop.

Don't end the relationship. If your relationship is to survive the many trials (of life) ahead then you've got to realize that wanting sex and not getting it is a very VERY small trial. Surviving this is like surviving a big zit in high school. No big deal!

I have a friend who is a good Christian. He began having sex with another "good" Christian. An emotionally destructive "good" Christian.

Even though they didn't really get along other than having "great sex" he married her. He married her out of guilt and not love. She's aware of this and has become even more emotionally abusive to him.

There is no curse on you for messing up. We all mess up. God forgives us when we repent - that is to turn back. When you turn back from your sin from the heart, he knows and forgives.

If you feel something dark attached to your relationship, then use prayer, fasting and almsgiving to essentially "clean" your spiritual pipes.

And get your heinie back to church! Get your soul fed.

Answer 5

Breaking up the relationship will not end your desire for sex. The Bible says "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion"(1 Corinthians 7:9)NIV. If your girlfriend was a virgin before you "defrocked" her, I think you owe it to her to retain her dignity.

If you are so concerned about a curse coming on your marriage, what about a curse coming on you now for premarital sex or what about a curse for abandoning your girlfriend? I don't understand this curse teaching you are talking about. Sin is to be confessed to the Lord and renounced in Jesus' Name.

Also, have you been baptized for the remission of your sins, dying to your old way of life?Many believers struggle with sin beause they were baptized as infants, rather than with understanding.

Answer 6

one of the biggest causes that subverts our walk with Christ today is the spirit of Rock and roll which is the locusts of revelations ch. 9 that permeates our society today. read under my avatar to understand better. you can't go to a mall, store, restaurant, turn on the tv or radio, drive down the road without some cracker head blasting it out next to you. if you are trully serious about your relationship with the Lord you need to stay away from this. The lord calls us to die to our own will to do His will but it says men seek death but can't find it because their sting is like a scorpian. scorpians release a neural toxin that paralyzes you and inflicts great pain. rock and roll paralyzes you from walking with Christ.

also what type of church do you belong to? false doctrine will also have the same effect. false doctrine cannot bring you to a true new birth that the scriptures require. I would recommend going to a small non-denominational church. stay away from organized deminational churches.

Answer 7

Deliverance is available. Jesus is able to help you, aren't you aware of all that he's capable of? It's going to be a constant battle we have to "die to the flesh (our fleshly desires) daily" and we are to "put on the whole armor of God". That's why you are to stay prayed up. So, that when you are attacked with lustful, desires or things not of God, you can combat them with the word of God. The bible also says to "resist the devil and he will flee". And not being with her is not addressing the real problem, the real issue. Repent, turn away from your sins, and take it one day, one moment at a time, trusting God, leaning on him for help and trying to live a moral upright life pleasing to him. And for heaven sakes, you can get married, so that your bed will be blessed, you union. I'll pray for you. All the best.

Answer 8

Therefore, if anyone [is] in Christ, [he is] a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

2Corinthians 5:17

You're in pretty good company, though. Paul struggled with the same temptation.

Romans 7:14-20
14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.
15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that [it is] good.
17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but [how] to perform that which is good I find not.
19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

Answer 9

hi, Rosalie. i'm no longer a training Christian anymore, yet as quickly as I nevertheless believed in God; i could first pray on a regular basis. i could additionally study the Bible and hear non violent worship music. Chris Tomlin, David Crowder and Hillsong United are only lots of the good people/ Christian bands i understand.

Answer 10

You need to repent and STOP. You can marry anybody you wish including her but God will only bless it based on your faith and what YOU are willing to put into it. But if you allow sin to keep a hold of you, your future family will indeed be cursed no matter who you marry.

Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me. -Psalm 199:133

For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace. -Romans 6:14