We were just invited to a friends wedding. Neither I or my boy friend have seen or spoken to the groom in over a year.(We have both tried to make contact), also have never seen this bride before. My boyfriend and him were good friends in high school about 4 years ago. And I lived in a house with him and his cousin for about 5 months a year and a half ago. Is it appropriate for us to attending the actual wedding ceremony or just the reception??
Also we went to Macys to purchase a gift off of their wedding registry and it was 8 pages long! They also set up a registry at two other stores.. seems greedy to me??
Many thanks!
2007-04-23 10:55:16 · 12 answers · asked by Felicia 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You can either attend just the ceremony, or both, but not only the reception.
And about the wedding registry, I never buy off a registry - like to choose gifts to suit the couple.
However, don't use the word "greedy" on this site - too many brides-to-be take offense really easily! The majority just Love their gift registries!
Have fun!
2007-04-23 15:52:36 · answer #1 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you go, you should attend the wedding as well as the reception. I think an eight page registry isn't bad if neither of them have been married before. I had a registry at more than one place because I didn't want people to feel like they had to buy only from the one where I registered for a few more pricey things. I don't think you should take offense. However, it sounds like you don't like the idea of attending. Think of it as a way of reaching out to you two since you haven't seen them in a while. Maybe attending will rekindle the friendship, if you are willing. Also, I had a smaller wedding and it was not possible to invite all of our friends. We did not invite those we hadn't seen in over a year, and some feelings were hurt!
2007-04-23 18:41:28 · answer #2 · answered by Heather B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were invited, then you should attend both the ceremony and reception. I would find it rude if you just attended the reception.
And don't be upset that you haven't been able to get in touch with him. Planning a wedding takes a lot of time and stress. There are friends I haven't been in contact with since I started planning my wedding.
Wedding registries are just wish lists. It helps people decide what gift to give. It's not being greedy. Consider it helpful. You'll go crazy too when it's your big day!
2007-04-23 18:12:28 · answer #3 · answered by PhantomRN 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Did you get an invitation? I am not sure why you would think that you shouldn't go to the wedding, after all you both are friends of his.
As far as the registry, remember that this is a list for ALL guests, maybe they have a large family, it is not just for you to buy for them. Actually 8 pages isn't that much, I have seen much much more! By giving a variety of things needed it is helpful for those who don't have a lot of money to choose the gift within their budget.
Just because you have not seen them in a year, does not negate the fact that you are friends!
Good luck! ;)
2007-04-23 19:37:33 · answer #4 · answered by Rhonda B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been invited to both the wedding and reception it would be acceptable to gp. In a way they have thought about who to invite to the whole day and have included you.
In regards to the gift list, yes having eight gift lifts may seem excexxive but this way theu may be making sure that there is something that everyone can afford to buy and know that it's something that the bride and groom wants.
2007-04-23 18:51:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to you if you want to go or not. I would say it would be odd to invite you if it were a smaller family affair but some people have parents who are planning an affair for 300 or more. If so, of course they would invite you as you used to be good friends and he does know both of you.
I invited a couple of my friends that I havent seen in years b/c we used to be very close friends and I knew I would be hurt if I didn't even know that they had gotten married. Plus we had plenty of room and were not likely to be overcrowded.
However, it is completely up to you if you want to attend or not. Many times a person is invited b/c you either feel you should invite that person (obligation) or as rather a way to inform this person of your wedding. As you said you did live with him for a while, so it would be polite to inform you of the wedding. But you don't need to feel obligated to attend. After all, you haven't seen him in over a year.
As to whether 8 pgs is excessive or not...it really depends on how big the wedding is. If they are inviting 300 people, you really are suppose to have more than 500 gifts to give them the choice. They may just be greedy--many bride and grooms are. You know him better than us. But you are not obligated to buy them a gift. Like I said, they may have not wanted to offend by not inviting. I know that after my bridesmaid dropped out of my wedding b/c she couldn't attend, I still sent her an invite b/c I didn't want her to feel that I was upset with her for not being able to make it. I knew she couldn't make it, but if something changed at the last minute, she had the option of coming.
2007-04-23 18:06:12 · answer #6 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Were you invited to just the wedding or the wedding and reception? It is certainly appropriate to attend both if you were invited to both.
As to the length of the registry, I much prefer to have a good variety of items and price ranges to select a gift from than just a couple of things. And it is good to have a choice of stores to shop at as well.
I don't see that as greedy but simply giving folks a wide range of choices.
2007-04-23 18:05:55 · answer #7 · answered by CountryLady 4 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Wedding registries sort of require one to be greedy. The main idea is that the couple is setting up a new home, and so need a lot of different things. To keep them from getting 15 vacuums or other multiple items, the registries allow guests to mark off what gift they have purchased.
The couple is not trying to get ALL of the items they are asking for. They are just trying to give guests a wide selection of items so that they can choose one they WANT to give the couple.
2007-04-23 18:02:03 · answer #8 · answered by WatersMoon110 3 · 11⤊ 0⤋
I don't think having an 8 page registry is greedy. They are getting married, and they are going to need things, it's inevitable. And having more registries is giving people more options. Especially if they put things on there that are less expensive, trying to be more thoughtful to their friends/family.
I would say you don't have to go to the wedding if you don't feel like it. He'll be kinda busy anyway and there's a good chance won't notice one way or the other.
If I were the bride I don't think I'd want you at my wedding anyway as bitter as you sound!!
2007-04-23 18:02:52 · answer #9 · answered by jezyka 5 · 7⤊ 1⤋
I would just attend the wedding reception, and a gift card from Macy's is sufficient.
2007-04-23 19:16:32 · answer #10 · answered by Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋