Is it me or is it her!!!!!?

Question

I have been dating this girl for about year and a half now. She loves to go out places with her girlfriends. Which i don't mind but she always tells me what she did that bothers me. She will be willing to out with her friends to a country bon fire with a bunch of guys which she don't even know and she don't see the danger in that. I don't mind her talking with guys but not at bars and at bon fire parties is that normal for me to feel this way are guys over protective like this. thanks

Answer 1

She is on the prowl. No one goes to a bon fire to watch things burn.

Answer 2

If she's having a girl's night out, that's fine, she might occasionally go dancing with the girls, or go out to a bar, and of course, there will be some male interaction there, but girls going out in a group will usually stick together, so while they may flirt a little bit, they aren't normally going to do anything crazy. So a periodic girls' night out is fine.

But if most of her outings end up around a bunch of guys, then it's really not that much of a girl's night out anymore, she should bring you with her or call you so you can come join her if things start turning in that direction.

So I would tell her that you are behind her 100% if she wants to go out with the girls, go shopping, get manicures, watch movies, grab some cocktail drinks, and catch up with her friends and get some "me" time. But if she's going out to parties, then you want to be there with her, so you can both have fun together and you can be there to protect her and her friends from any weirdo's.

P.S. I think it's great that she is open with you about what she does. Trust is critical. Make sure you don't make her feel like it's easier to just not tell you next time.
P.S. 2. Could it be that she's telling you some of this stuff just to make you jealous? That might be a possibility too. Especially, if she's been inviting you to go with her and you never feel like it, she might be tryint to tell you that if you're not spending time out with her, some other guy will.

Answer 3

To me country bon fire parties would be a big no-no. There are two reasons guys go to those:

1.) To Get Drunk
2.) To Get Laid

Now I have no problem with my gf going to a bar and talking to a guy. In fact I've told her if she can get a free drink to go for it...but just walk away afterwards and not flirt.

Answer 4

Sounds to me like you're worried that she'll fall for some other guy, and you feel worried about that. Some would call it jealousy, but as long as you're not trying to stop her from talking to guys then I don't think you can call it that. Try and remember that she's with you for a reason, she loves you, not them. And if you've been together a year and a half then you must have something good, I bet a lot of people couldn't manage that long! Well done!
Bottom line: Try not to worry too much, just trust her, and remember that she loves you. Don't let these feelings turn into jealousy and get in the way of the relationship, I've seen it happen too many times before! Good luck, and chin up!

Answer 5

No guys aren't over protective about this... well I guess some are. That's really cool of you to let her go out with her friends some guys don't even do that, but what she is doing is wrong and no fair to you. Tell her that it bothers you sit down and have an adult conversation about it. No yelling that doesn't solve anything at all trust me lol!

If she still thinks that you are being over protective than im sorry leave her unless you really love her than keep giving her chances, but if she really loves you than she will be willing to stop some things. Don't ask her to stop being with her friends though just that you don't agree with her being around all of them guys!

Keep your head up!

Answer 6

Why wouldn't it be normal to be concerned about your girlfriend socializing with members of the opposite sex while you're not around? It obviously makes you uncomfortable and you should let her know that...

The big question is what are/can you do about it?


Ps: Can you have her invite me to the next bon fire?

Answer 7

Of course it's not normal. If she is your girlfriend, she should be wanting to go places with you. There is nothing wrong with hanging out with friends, but once you are in a relationship, you don't hang out with friends at parties like that. Tell her how you feel, and if she's not willing to change, she's not as committed to you as you are to her. If this still bothers you, then find another girlfriend.

Answer 8

If you trust each other, and that's not the issue then it's an easy fix. Make sure she knows where her friends are and where her drink has been. The group should have a DD that they trust and remember to be aware and use common sense when they're out. Then, you should have the confidence in your girlfriend's ability to take care of herself in her social life.

Answer 9

It's very normal to feel that way, but if your girlfriend hasn't given you any reason not to trust her, you need to give her the benefit of the doubt. You seem to be handling things well, a lot of men would try to "forbid" their girls from going out with their girlfriends, especially when drinking and other men are involved.

Answer 10

Is there a reason you're not going with her? If you're not invited I would definitly be suspicious. If your just choosing not to go I guess it could be innocent, but what are the odds? We're not talking about a movie night with girlfriends painting their toenails. Boys and girls go to coutry bonfires for one reason and it's not to sing camp songs.

Maybe a girl who would rather hang out with you than a bunch of guys she doesn't even know would be a better source of happiness for you. Good luck hon.

Answer 11

She's an immature child and not ready to settle down. She wants to hang out with the guys yet she wants to be known as having a boyfriend, because she thinks it is both a status symbol and also she thinks it will somehow protect her. She is a good bit naive.

You are not overly protective, you just have chosen a girl who is not willing to, as the marriage ceremony states "forsaking all others" ... she loves the attention and the all-others part.