All we do is fight, because im not showing enough attention towards her, i dont do much for her in the relationship. is there any point in staying together?? its stressing me out and more often than not I am not happy with the situation. We have ups and downs. When its really good, its really good, when its bad, its really bad. Please help!! I have to seek therapy now!! weve only been seeing each other 6 months, and i feel like im not ready to be in a relationship and give my all to another person. Shes 21 and Im 24.....i dont know if that makes any difference, but i need advice quick.
2007-04-23 10:17:18 · 36 answers · asked by chrisj7682 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sounds like you are not good together.
imagine a lifetime of that.
2007-04-23 10:20:17 · answer #1 · answered by pinkstealth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ask your self do i love her or not if the answers not than go all relationships go through ups and downs me and my boyfriend have fought thousands of times about not paying enough attention to each other and we broke up but we recently got back together its only been a day if that were still happy with each other but eventually well get into a fight and we'll want to leave each other again thats just the way relationships work if you were happy with each other all the time and you spent all your free time with her she would say you were smothering her and that would be a boring relationship most people crave that stress and now not all but i do you know as if i dont have enough stressful things in my life i have to add a strained relationship i feel stress keeps me alive and on my toes some say im crazy but i love my self and thats all that matters besides if we didnt fight there would be no reason for make up sex thats the best kind right lol
2007-04-23 10:33:29 · answer #2 · answered by Trippin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls need attention. We need to know that we are the only important person in your life. Well let me say not all girls but most girls are like this. We need romance, we need affection, conversation, etc..etc... Being in a relationship takes A LOT of work. it can be so great and some times it can be plain awful. But if two people who love each other want to stay and work things out then it can be very rewarding. But if 1 person in that relationship is not ready for that type of commitment then it isn't fair to the other person. It is a waste of time and energy. Don't be in a relationship just because you think you have to or you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings. Plus if arguing so much and all the time is causing you stress then it may be time to rethink this relationship. Stress causes 90% of illiness' in this country. Toxic stress is even worse. Keeping yourself in a situation that is causing too much stress is very bad for the both of you. I can't tell you what to do but I hope this advice helps you make a decision for the better.
2007-04-23 10:30:54 · answer #3 · answered by brookewookie26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First ask yourself, what made you start a relationship with her? If the reason was a substantial one, your relationship may have a fighting chance. If the reason was flaky, such as, she had a cute smile and nice hair, give it up. If you've already decided you aren't ready for a serious relationship, you have answered your own question. The age difference isn't the problem b/c you two are in the same age range. You seem to be looking for reasons to end the relationship so why drag it out? I know I don't know you from Adam and I don't know your situation, but answer this-why do you guys argue? Does your conversation start out harmless and devolve into an argument? Big problem. If you don't want to spend time with her and all you two do is argue, don't waste her time or yours. You two haven't been together long enough to be in such an unstable relationship. Get out before someone gets really hurt.
2007-04-23 10:26:17 · answer #4 · answered by ilovepeace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately get therapy but end the relationship. Nothing hurts more than ending a realtionshipbut sooner rather than later is better. My daughter and her boyfriend fight constantly. I even had to call the police when it happened in front of me.. Turns out it was the 3rd time in 3 weeks so he was arrested. But they are still together. I take away her cell phone when we are together because I can't stand to have 15 phone calls and fights while we are out o dinner.
2007-04-23 10:24:31 · answer #5 · answered by sweet sue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I vote for getting out. Life's too short to spend it being miserable. If you fight constantly now as bf/gf you'll do it when you're married, too. Relationship counseling is for those who have already pledged "till death do us part" and have to make it work. You haven't made that pledge so you don't have to make it work, you can look for greener pastures. My first boyfriend and I fought for seven months. Then I broke it off. I've now been happily married to someone else for three years and we've had maybe 3 arguments and no fights. I'm so glad I didn't make myself try to stay with the first guy, I would have really lost out. When you're really compatible and both ready for a relationship, then it really works. If it's not working, why torture yourself?
2007-04-23 10:25:51 · answer #6 · answered by em T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her an ultimatum. You don't want to fight anymore. You are who you are and you are not willing to change. She can accept that and stay with you, or she can keep trying to change you and YOU will go. Are the good times worth it to her? You've only been together 6 months, that's not very long, but if she's tested her boundaries (what she can get away with etc...) then you need to step in and say it's NOT OK.
(Realistically you WILL keep fighting, but hopefully about something else, and fewer and far between!)
2007-04-23 10:25:43 · answer #7 · answered by AriesJWR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it looks like to me that it might be an age difference because there is a difference from being 21 and being 24. 21 you feel like a whole new person and you've already been thought that. if you don't feel like being in a relationship right now then sit down and talk to her about why you feel that way.you shouldn't be in a relationship if you don't feel any affection and i personally don't think you need therapy
2007-04-23 10:23:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that and it sounds like unfortunately the two of you don't get along. Try being friends and leave the BF/GF thing alone. Love should not put you in therapy. Good Luck
2007-04-23 10:22:10 · answer #9 · answered by mundo808 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see the point of putting so much effort into a relationship in which half the time is spent not getting along. It doesn't have to be so hard to be happy.
On the other hand, if you don't feel that you're ready to be in a relationship..you shouldn't be in one. Don't put yourself in that position.
Good luck =)
2007-04-23 10:29:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first I would talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel. And if you guys come up with the conclusion to break up than so be it. It's not worth being stressed out all the time. These should be happy times.
2007-04-23 10:20:54 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋