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My boyfriend and I don't agree about alcohol. I choose not to drink because my father had some alcohol problems and because I'm underage (my boyfriend is too). He does drink, he doesn't go crazy all the time, but it still bothers me a little. I know I can't tell him not to do it because I don't want to be controlling and I want him to have fun, but he doesn't want to compromise at all. He thinks he shouldn't have to because he doesn't agree with me and thinks my viewpoint is not normal or sensible. Am I crazy or is he being insensitive?

2007-04-23 10:08:30 · 25 answers · asked by bella1290 2 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

25 answers

It doesn't sound like he is willing to compromise because he hasn't taken your feelings into consideration yet. He is young and thinks it's great to drink. He will act this way all through college. It's more of a head ache than it's worth. Let him do his own thing, just don't be around him when he drinks. You can NEVER change anyone. No matter how hard you try.

2007-05-01 09:40:44 · answer #1 · answered by LJ 2 · 0 0

For me being a recovering alcholic, I wouldn't compromise during my drinking. Of course I can't say your boyfriend has a problem. If you are underage then you are risking something anyway.
No one could tell me not to drink. I drank because I wanted to and yes to have fun. I wasn't crazy all of the time either. But later on in my drinking, it wasn't fun and I did get a little crazier.
In my opinion, your boyfriend is being insensative, that is because he wants to drink more than he wants to comprimise with some one that cares about him. Don't for one minute think that you are trying to control this or that this is your problem in anyway. You just want some consideration. Unfortunately, alcohol has the control and when someone is under the influence or wants to be, there is no consideration.

If it gets worse, get out of the relationship. Stick to your beliefs. No one can take that away from you.

good luck

2007-04-23 17:20:44 · answer #2 · answered by zoso0729 2 · 0 0

Drinking underage is illegal. I hate that people are so free thinking about this. There's no question- 21 is the age limit. It's not, "Oh, I'm 20, that's close enough" or "Well, everyone else is doing it so it's no big deal." No, it's ILLEGAL!

I think he's being insensitive and stupid. He doesn't have to drink to have fun. You need to find one of those rare guys who doesn't think that underage drinking is okay. I didn't even think that they exsisted until I met one.

I'm 19 and I would never drink underage. I have a couple of friends who are the same as me and one of them happens to be a guy. You're not crazy and I think you're more sensible than he is by far. It doesn't matter if you're viewpoint is "normal." Yours is the smart, legal viewpoint.

2007-04-23 17:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

i think he's being insensitive.

I went through the same thing. My pops died as an alcoholic so It something that totally bothered me. The only thing you can do is tell him why and how much it bothers you. Than you just let him do what he wants to do. If he responds and makes some sort of change or even attempts to change than YAY! If not, than maybe you should rethink the situation. You'll end up being un happy if you don't do something about it now!

If he's having trouble quiting because it's an addiction as well, than work with it. Compromise with him.

Good luck. If you ever need any help, feel free to email me

2007-04-23 17:14:55 · answer #4 · answered by Ms Beans15 2 · 0 0

I guess he is bein a little insensitive but at the same time if he doesn't drink and go crazy all the time I would not worry about it. He is young and he will grow out of it eventually. My father died of an alcohol related disease. I drink occasionally and so does my bf. You just have to keep it responsible.

2007-04-23 17:12:36 · answer #5 · answered by Just Wondering 5 · 0 0

He's being insensitive. You still respect him for his choice even if your not thrilled about it. He should respect yours. If everytime your out together and all he wants to do is drink doing whatever.

Then id let him know that in your family your dad had a problem with alcohol and it concerns you because you have probably seen what it can do to someone. Especially if you love them or their family.

2007-05-01 14:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by GA 5 · 0 0

There is one big problem. He is UNDER AGE. It is illegal for him to drink.

Seems he is not willing to consider opinions from someone other tham himself. He has the right to control his own actions - illeagl or otherwise, and you have no rights to tell him what to do. IF you want to reduce this discussion to rights - which is based on laws and the bare minimum we have to go by.

If you want to discuss in terms of your relationship to him, then, I see that you are being reasonable by asking him, and showing your concerns. I see that it is quite common for teen agers to drink and somehow justify it, but that does not make it right or legal.

While you cannot control his actions, you can control your own. Don't drink if you don't want to, and definately not before you are of age.

Think carefully about his attitudes and expand into situations other than alcohol. It may be how he reacts to other things he doesn't agree with, and it can interfere with his relationship to you, and vise versa.

Another thing you must be concerned with. Being in a company of people who drink. If he gets caught or gets into trouble and found that he has been drinking, it CAN affect your reputation, and you risk - possibly legal problems EVEN if you didn't drink yourself.

2007-04-23 17:15:50 · answer #7 · answered by tkquestion 7 · 0 0

No, you are not crazy. You are the sensible one in this relationship. He is not respectful of you because of how you feel about drinking & he should be. I wouldn't be with a guy who doesn't respect my feelings & opinions. Maybe one of these days, he'll realize he doesn't need to drink to have fun. He's underage & shouldn't be drinking anyway.

2007-05-01 17:12:42 · answer #8 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0 0

Under age drinking is definitely something to be bothered about. It says something about his character that isn't good, since there are other things that he could be doing with his time and money. You are absolutely right to be concerned, and you sound like a very mature person. I think you may need to evaluate this relationship. This guy may not be good enough for you.

2007-05-01 15:14:49 · answer #9 · answered by sustasue 7 · 0 0

Get a new boyfriend girl. He doesn't respect you or care about you in any way. Trust me if he did he'll respect your vieews and opinion on the issue and might even try to vhange his ways. My boyfriend used to be a big drinker and he had ask me about how i felt about it and i had told that honestly i didn't like it he had given it up entirely because he wanted to make me happy. He doesn't even drink a little bit, so if your guy can't be like this then give him up. It's not worth the stress.

2007-05-01 14:03:56 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

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