My cousin is my maid of honor. I absolutely love her and just knew she would be perfect for the job. I mean she even plans wedding as her career! she is in charge of my reception and rehearsal bc we are having it where she works. She has blown me off so many times since I have been engaged. She is even blowing off my fiance's parents. We have five more months to go and my mom and dad have sat down with her boss to address our concerns and the boss seems to think there is a jealousy factor in this. This truly hurts my feelings to know that she would sabotage my happiness over something so petty. Everytime I ask her to meet with me (such as this past sat) she says no. we live two hours away so our time is precious when we come into town. Turns out she was at a horse chase! what should I do?
2007-04-23 10:03:34 · 18 answers · asked by rachdezigns 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I do want to say that I showed up on a monday and waited for her to finish with a client for an hour. When she was done we went to lunch and she kept avoiding talking about the wedding by talking about other things that have been going on in her life. I do expect her to have a life! Its just when she puts me on the backburner, she is not only pushing us further away but she is not honoring her job duties for her job in which my parents helped her get. Its a country club not some random wedding planning job.
2007-04-23 10:49:56 · update #1
Let me clear up again, she is the director for the receptions/ parties/etc at the place we are having it. She is getting paid very well and really I have done everything i can to give her chances to meet with me.
2007-04-23 12:09:44 · update #2
Keep her as your Maid of honor, replace her as the wedding planner. Tell her boss you need someone else in the company (like her boss) to manage your wedding planning, that you will not be using her services anymore.
And this is why I rarely do business with family members or close friends, because people seem to think that because you're either related or are friends that gives them the right to be less than professional.
2007-04-23 10:48:29 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to find a new wedding planner. If you talk to your cousin about the way she's been acting and she doesn't care to change then you'll also need a new MOH. If she wants to be jealous and immature, don't let it ruin your joy and happiness. This is YOUR big day, and no one should get in the way of that. You're probably stressed out as it is, you don't need this.
I was going to have my cousin in my wedding, and possibly my MOH too, but she's been acting jealous and making negative comments about it. So I'm not even having her be apart of the wedding party. I hope it all works out for you
2007-04-23 10:47:01 · answer #2 · answered by Mekana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I do not feel you must be disillusioned. Is it traumatic, sure! But, pity the woman. There are a quantity of explanations why she maybe performing this manner. Maybe she particularly is getting engaged and perhaps this can be a mutual selection among her and her boyfriend. If now not, then she simply wishes concentration. If that is the case, quit placing out along with her. No one says you HAVE to inform her the whole thing approximately your marriage ceremony or take her get dressed browsing, cake tasting, and so on. Try heading off touch along with her for a whilst. Don't percentage your marriage ceremony plans. But, do not be disillusioned. No intent to be. Unless you believe she's stealing your thunder, that's particularly egocentric, you should not believe that approach toward your MOH. When she talks approximately her "marriage ceremony" entertain the proposal, however go away it at that. STOP sharing each and every element approximately your marriage ceremony along with her and perhaps she'll become bored with making plans her non-existent marriage ceremony date.
2016-09-05 21:27:46 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a new maid of honor, or at least ask to have someone else deal with your wedding plans. If she wasn't your cousin and she was treating you this way you would definately find someone else. Don't be any different just because she is family. This is one of the most important days of your life so don't let her ruin that for you.
2007-04-23 10:30:52 · answer #4 · answered by shannonwigg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would keep her as the maid of honor, but find a new planner. Maybe the stress of planning for family is too much for her. It may be difficult to ask her to step aside, but tell her that you feel like you've put her in an uncomfortable position and give her an out. That way you don't have to attack her ability as a planner. Also, be prepared for her to step down as the maid of honor if she is offended. Oh, and if she is doing this for free, she may be feeling put upon.
2007-04-23 11:59:16 · answer #5 · answered by Heather B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
use another wedding planner, simple as that. this is about you and whatever her problems are those are her concern. use an outside source because not only is this about your happy day this is about business. her boss even told you what her problem may be, i think you should listen. your maid of honor should be happy for you and want to help, i think you shoud find another maid of honor as well. sorry you're going through this but you have enough time to make ajustments and relieve some of you stress, but congratulations on starting a life with someone you love. remember, it's about you right now, not her.
2007-04-23 10:15:09 · answer #6 · answered by NoDeal21 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can you possibly allow this woman to be in your wedding if you can't even rely on her to show up for a meeting? Cousin or not, she is no friend. You need to find a new maid of honor PRONTO and omit this one from the wedding party altogether. Do NOT let her do this to you.
2007-04-23 10:11:24 · answer #7 · answered by Alice K 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should go to her unexpectedly and talk to her, that way she can't blow you off. You should really let her know that you chose her to be your maid of honor for a reason, and that reason was bc you trusted her, and you thought that she wouldn't do you wrong. She should understand after that, but If that doesn't work then I suggest finding a new Maid of Honor.
Hope everything works out! :-)
2007-04-23 10:39:20 · answer #8 · answered by Don't you get it?? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you may absolutely love her but she doesnt seem perfect for the job as you want it done.Call her and tell her that you know how busy she is and that you have hired someone else to be in charge of the receptioin and rehearsal and then get someone else. This will only get worse!
2007-04-23 10:13:52 · answer #9 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak with your cousins manager again and ask for someone else to oversee your plans. Your the customer - if they say no - go above that person to the next.
2007-04-23 10:12:28 · answer #10 · answered by dani77356 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋