My bf really wants to do this, with a male or a female. I am a female. I would like to suprise him, but I have no idea how to choose someone, how to set it up, where to look, how to make sure the third party knows their place. I want to make it a good experience for both of us, but it is my first time and I don't want to look too inexperienced and have things be akward. Any insights and advice would be helpful. PS how do I insure that the person I choose doesn't have VD?
2007-04-23 09:53:43 · 21 answers · asked by susan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Best advice don't do it. It is just begging for drama in you r relationship. If you do decide just be careful. Good Luck
2007-04-23 09:57:43 · answer #1 · answered by mundo808 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My first piece of advice, since you're the one setting it up, pick a girl. If it were him setting it up, I'd say pick a guy. The reason is simple: if you pick a guy, you'll pick a guy for you. If you pick a girl, you'll pick a girl for him. It won't be concious, but that's the way it will happen. At the same time, you'll be able to pick a girl you won't be jealous of and that you get along with.
As to the third knowing her place, the easy way is to tell her what her place is. Usually if you've said that, then you're covered.
But as to it not being awkward, the only way to really avoid that is if you find someone who has had a threesome before who can take the lead. It's kind of like a first kiss: if you both have your first kiss together, then it will be awkward, but it will be awesome.
The last and most important is how to avoid pepole with VD. Well, the only way I know is to ask someone you know and trust and that you know doesn't have anything. You'll have a lot of people recommend that you have a stranger. I don't recommend that. Strangers can lie and you won't know, and if they do something that causes a problem the don't ever have to deal with that. But if your best friend joins you, then she's going to want you and him to succeed as a couple, and will help you to make the evening of three primarily about the two of you.
2007-04-24 02:32:45 · answer #2 · answered by Sean J 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you should do this at all. Threesomes are often know to ruin relationships. Hell, strippers are known the ruin relationships and there isn't even any touching there. I have never had a threesome with a man and another woman, but I have had threesomes with a couple of previous boyfriends and other men. The jealousy came out in our first arguement after it. Both relationships fizzled and died with 6 months. You need to think about this very seriously, if this is a guy you love and want to be with for a long time, I would flag it, after all, your man should be happy with just you and be understanding if you don't want to.
2007-04-23 10:01:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, do you really want to do this? I mean you said your bf wants to do this, but the feeling has to be mutual because threesomes can get messy particularly if you pick a female(unless you're bisexual or something which is alright). Pick someone that you don't know because it might be weird doing it with someone you do but make sure if you pick a male, he wears a condom too. You can set it up basically anywhere; just make sure no one will walk in on you so maybe pick a hotel? Plus, before you do it, make sure the third person knows that they can't butt into your relationship and that it really doesn't mean anything more than sex. You shouldn't worry about it if you decide to do it but make sure you really want to and then you're careful.
2007-04-23 10:01:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Depending on where you live, you may be able to search the net for your area for a swinger's club/group. You can meet the female ahead of time and the two of you can decide if you are interested. Or....you could hire an escort girl and pay her. Many times they have proof of clean bill of health. She will expect hubby to wear protection and may set limits about what she is willing to do with you guys. Those are the only two options I can think of, but I have zero experience in this arena. Best of luck. Have fun.
2007-04-23 09:59:39 · answer #5 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are getting into an area where you never know whats going to happen! I would try a friend first. someone you trust....If that bothers you, go to Vegas would be another....last, try a swingers club.
2007-04-23 10:00:03 · answer #6 · answered by the need to know 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everytime you do this you take a chance of sexually transmitted diseases. I personally would not put my life at risk because some of these diseases are killers for anyone.
2007-04-23 09:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do realize that once you give him this he will never be satisfied with just you again, right? You really think so little of yourself that you're willing to be nothing but a sex toy to this guy, huh? Good luck to you.
2007-04-23 09:58:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its your first time!! It's obviously NOT his first time, so he's going to be fine with it, it will RUIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You will have no reputation, plus, you can never be sure the other person doesn't have a STI, if you do this you'll wish you hadn't.
2007-04-23 10:01:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
craigslist.org, and you can't be sure that they are disease-free, unless you see their test results. Good luck if you think it's worth it.
2007-04-23 09:57:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋