I've since deleted everything off my computer and anything tangible that I've ever made with ex girlfriends that are x-rated. But apparently itunes uploaded the pictures onto my video iPod without me knowing!!! My fiance saw them today when she was working out and is now LIVID!!! I told her I've never done it before, because I just wanted to protect her feelings because that was a LONG time ago, and I'm very different now. I don't look at any x rated material EVER now. So it sucks. She says she forgives me, but I feel like I've let her down so bad. I don't know what to do or say, I feel like the lowest scum of the earth. I've done everything for her, I love her more than anythingm she's the most important person in my life, and I never want to her hurt. I'm so mad at myself. Please help me!
2007-04-23 09:01:51 · 22 answers · asked by Grisham 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Im not sure what you mean by " I told her ive never done it before"...do you mean look at x rated pics? or do you mean MAKE x rated pics with someone? Or just sex ingeneral? No matter what you are human and we all make mistakes...if you did lie to her about something she is going to need some time to get over it...as long as you are actually sorry that this happened everything will be fine eventually....you didnt do anything wrong as far as the pics pop'n up like that...i have an ipod and it has a way of sucking out all you rpics from the computer...i would know...so i believe you on that part and she should to... Everything will be fine...you have done all that you can do now...you appologized and you obviously sound like you love her a lot! It is better to be straight forward with people you love from the get go certainly but things happen and the longer you tried to protect her the harder it was to tell her about the pics... and that she should be able to grasp as well..like i said all will be fine...and if she says she forgives you than for god sakes man forgive yourself...women dont just say they forgive people if they dont....so dont worry about it anymore...
2007-04-23 09:10:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must feel horrible! I think coming from a woman's point of view, you need to do something wonderful and unexpected. Perhaps you could pick her up from work with an overnight bag packed and go out of town for the weekend. Go to a quaint little Bed and Breakfast then take her shopping, being very patient or course. Have a romantic dinner and a heart felt apology. A few days after you get home send her a romantic card saying you love her. Good Luck!
2007-04-23 09:16:59 · answer #2 · answered by KAREN P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance is more pissed at the fact you never told her (not that we tell all our secretes) however, even saying "I used to...but I changed long ago".
I'm guessing that she is wondering what else you haven't told her and if she really knows the real you?
I do have one question.....if it was a LONG time ago and you are no longer that person...why didn't you just delete the pictures before you even met her?
Don't be so hard on yourself and tell her again how you feel and remember the truth doesn't always protect feelings but it will always be real.
Hope all goes well.
2007-04-23 09:27:35 · answer #3 · answered by Northernlady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is no longer married to her and that means he has no legal right to those pictures. Delete them and keep your mouth shut. Oh, and if he decides he wants such pictures of you, remember his carelessness with them and say NO. Good luck and God bless! ***** Addendum: I know this is bothering you but I can assure you that he isn't telling you every single thing he did when he was in bed with her, and he shouldn't either. If you can't get past this, perhaps a session or two with a therapist will help.
2016-04-01 03:51:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How come you never delete them? trying to hold on to old memories? Anyway, you have to understand that we all have a past! but at times we just try to hold on to it for any reason. If she forgive you then you should forgive yourself! and learn not to do stupid things to hurt her again!! Let me ask you, would you had react the same way if you were the one that found the movie of her and an ex?
2007-04-23 09:10:35 · answer #5 · answered by alma c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your past and has nothing to do with her.
What counts is who you are as a person now and that you respect her and treat her well.
We've all done things we're not proud of in the past and that's where it should stay.Don't beat up on yourself for what you did before.
She has to realize that you love her and she is very important to you and that you would never intentionally hurt her.Let her know that everyday.
Good Luck.
2007-04-23 09:13:19 · answer #6 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
w-o-w!
she feels hurt and those images have burnt scars in her mind, nothing you did since you didn't do it on purpose. it's just the fact that you would rather die than see the girls your ex has been with.
she'll get over it, she loves you. and she'll probably act like nothing is wrong, but its just in her mind. she has to get over it and it may take a while. be prepared for some fights.
i'm not trying to be funny, but look up on google how to use the manual way to put things on your ipod instead of the sync. you have to drag the music and drop them into your ipod symbol on the left.
best of luck :)
2007-04-23 09:07:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is probably more upset by the fact that you still have those pics than anything. As an adult, she will understand that you have a history...but the idea that you might still be looking at these photos has her seeing RED!!! Destroy them, delete them, just get rid of them and do something really nice for her!
2007-04-23 09:10:09 · answer #8 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you guys were both born yesterday and don't have pasts? Stop being so hard on yourself. We all have pasts with other people, and whatever you did with those people is just that--the PAST. If today, you love your fiance and want her more than anything--then that's all that matters. If she's forgiven you, then forgive yourself.
I wish you all the best!
2007-04-23 09:07:25 · answer #9 · answered by Lyfeizbutadream 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
every one has past lifer, but we live in the present to build outr future. if she has problems with ur past, then i would say that she is not the right person for you.
and u do not have to explain nething to ne 1. do u know nething about her past, or for that matter her present. i am not saying/neither suggesting that she is doing something wrong, but cm to think of it r u really bothered what she did when she was not with u
2007-04-23 09:09:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋