Is it too early to move together after 2months?

Question

My boyfriend and I knew each other when we were teens however we never dated. Now, years later we are both 26 and we ran into each other a few months ago. Ever since, we have spent every day together except for the week I took my son to FL for vaccation. (pre-planned) I am a single Mom of my six year old boy and I have been single for over a year and I havn't been in serious relationships. My boyfriend and I are already in love at two months! Its the best feeling Ive ever had and he treats my son and I the best ever. My gut tells me everything is okay but I'm afraid people would judge. He talked to me yesterday on our hiking trip and asked how I felt about him moving in with me when his lease is up in another month. He already stays there 6 out of 7 nights now. I would love nothing more for him to move in with me when his lease is up but I feel like people will tell me it's too early? He has never lived with another woman so it makes me happy to hear he wants to take the step

Answer 1

yes its way to early!

Answer 2

I think maybe you should give yourself more time. Living together is a whole new ball game - especially for a guy who's never lived with another woman before. Why not wait another few months, just to make sure you both still feel the same way? If he's practically living there anyway then you'll get an idea of how a permanent arrangement will be but why make that move so early? Whatever you decide, don't worry about what other people think - just think what's best for you and your son. Good luck!

Answer 3

First of all never let what others think influence what you think.

However, 2 months is quick, Yes I've been there done that and hope someday I'll learn from my mistakes.

After my experiences of jumping into relationships that didn't work out I would say wait a year and then see how you feel. Once you move in together it's harder to get out if you feel like you need to. At least make sure you have an escape plan if needed.

Another thing to think about is your child. Children feel the same disappointments that we do and some handle them ok and some don't but by the time we find out - it's too late. Kids benefit from stability and when you move because of failed relationships this can affect them in a negative way.

I honestly suggest for everyone's benefit that you take more time before making this move. If it is meant to be then it's not going to hurt to wait. But if it's not meant to be then it's going to hurt a lot if you rush.

Answer 4

Congratulations on finding the one. It's one of life's great achievements.

I've done exactly what you're talking about from the male perspective and I suggest a compromise.

First:
(i) Get him to continue leasing his place (once he's lived there for a year he can keep living there without signing a new lease).
OR
(ii) Get him to get a room in a three/four/five bedroom house near a University/College (not sure where you're based).
Then:
Let him stay over any time he wants. Set him up with cupboards and spaces within the house to put some of his stuff (such as a couple of sets of clothes / cds / etc). See how it goes. He should have an out (a place to go) for at least another year. Your son needs to know that there's an out too.

You wouldn't be asking if you didn't have underlying concerns. It's fantastic that you're talking about it. Follow your heart, you will all know when it's time to make the full commitment.

Best of luck.

Answer 5

His lease is up in another month so he's asking to move in with you?
Babes, be very, very careful here. I'm not going to say whether you should or shouldn't, that's your decision; but as a single mother myself, I would be very wary if I found myself in that position.
It's fantastic that he's prepared to take your little boy on, but that can backfire. As other people have said, if you do this, your son is going to get attached to him too; if you are making the wrong decision, it's not just you who'll get hurt. Unfortunately, you really do have to put your little boy before your boyfriend; I think the fact that you have to ask this question shows that there is, understandably, some hesitation and doubt there.
I would ask him to give me a little more time, find somewhere else to lease for now and see how things go between you. If it's going to last, it's going to last, what's the rush? I've always found that the anticipation of something makes it all the more worthwhile when I finally get it.
Good Luck, Babes, I really hope you get what you want.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with it...if you are nuts.

Both of you are jumping the gun way too fast, and worse you have brought your son into the mix. You sound like a love sick 16 year old. The two of you don't even know each other yet, the hormones are still way too strong. The whole dynamic of your relationship is going to change and you have even had enough time to build it correctly. The fact that he has never lived with another women is bad, and that you don't see that point doesn't speak well of you either.

Fact is it doesn't matter what people will say or think, however that doesn't change the fact that this move is way too soon.

Answer 7

If it feels right to you then you should move in together. It sounds like he's living there already anyway. Here's the thing. When I first met my boyfriend, we were head-over-heels for each other after three weeks and began living together. Sure, other people thought we were insane, but we knew it was right for us. 6 months later we are still unbelievably happy and love living together. If you are in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man (and believe me, I know that's hard to come by these days), then who cares what other people think! You two need to do what works for the both of you and forget the rest. Also, if he and your son get along like aces, then I REALLY wouldn't worry about how others judge you. Good luck and I hope everything works out!

Answer 8

Hi.. Im 17 years old and ive been with my boyfriend for 15months. Even thought were only 17 years old i think were actually an example. You may be 26 now but age doent really make a difference when it comes to relationships, you might have known him in your teens but you knew him as a friend, and not as a partner. You may nt last and then what happens with the house? there are loads of different things you need to think about.

One thing that keeps going round my head is that you have a son. How does he feel about your partner? and how will he feel if you move in together and his getting on really well and then you and your partner split up?

Maybe give it another few months and then see how you feel. It will prob all work out for the best.. and i hope it does :D

Hope this helps... X

Answer 9

I don't think it's too early. I moved in with my ex husband after know him for three months. We were married 11 years, and the fact that we moved in together that early had nothing to do with it. We had some great years together. If you feel in your heart and soul it's a good thing, than go for it!

Answer 10

Before allowing him to move in with you, I'd be sure to have an important series of conversations and agreements about your separate responsibilities. Also, ask yourself these questions. What if things go wrong and you need him to leave? Will you be able to dismiss him from your home? When he does move in, will he be signing a lease with you? If not, how will you collect from him if he doesn't pay his half of the rent/utilities? I allowed my boyfriend to move in with me also after a relatively short period of time. It is extremely important to have a back-up plan. A relationship is committment enough; it will be extremely uncomfortable for you if you no longer want to be with this man, but feel trapped or obligated because you are living with him. If you can tell yourself that you would have no problem kicking him out if things didn't go as planned, then go right ahead. Things worked out for my boyfriend and I, but it took work.

Answer 11

I think in this case you just need to make sure this is the best step for your child. You two may be in love and ready to make that step, but don't rush it. Your son would have a hard time adjusting if you moved in and then moved out, and even just moving in with another man is going to be hard for your son to get used too. I wou ld take it slow and make sure this is the right move for your whole family. If it wasnt for the child involved, you are an adult and can do what you like. . . just be careful . . children are so impressionable. Good luck, and I am so glad to hear he loves you and treats your son well. :)