please tell me the funniest jokes u no. best joke gets chosen as best answer and gets top marks.
2007-04-23 08:40:48 · 17 answers · asked by king lou 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."
2007-04-23 08:58:33 · answer #1 · answered by Chris R 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ok i got this from here earlier and im not going to be able to remember exactly how it was but here goes:
Hung Chow calls his boss to say"i no feel good, i have the headache, the stomachache, i no come work today."
his boss says"I really need you today Hung Chow. When i don't feel well i usually have sex with my wife, then i feel much better. You should try it"
Hung Chow says "ok boss i try it."
a couple hours later Hung Chow calls his boss to say "I do what you tell me, i feel better, i come to work now. By the way, you have nice house."
2007-04-23 08:49:29 · answer #2 · answered by Arraya 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A guy picks up a chinese woman at a club and they head back to his, after a bit of fooling around they go upstairs. Once undressed she says to him "I would do anything for you". He replies "How about a 69?", she sits up and shouts "No way im cooking for you at this time of night"
2007-04-24 14:35:57 · answer #3 · answered by kensta78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Salesman knocks on a door and the door is opened by a small boy, the salesman says "is your mother in?" the boy says "no she's gone to heaven"." well your father then"." No he;s gone to heaven." Anybody else says the salesman, well, the boy says "there's my sister in the front room with her boyfriend, but I think she's going to heaven too , I just heard her say Oh Christ I am coming."
2007-04-23 08:57:31 · answer #4 · answered by bo nidle 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
two cows are in a field...
one cow says to the other cow "sooo... grass is good ey?"
the other cow says "holy crap a talking cow!"
what do you call a fly with no wings?
a walk
a man and his horse walked into a bar
a blonde walked into a bar... you think she would've seen the man and the hose
2007-04-26 02:11:47 · answer #5 · answered by fairy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's a real life experience..
once I was walking by a loan road and sow a little boy trying hard to reach a doorbell switch, I thought I shuld help him and pushed the switch for him.
The boy was so happy and told me, thanks.. now lets run......he run away and I had to face the elderly lady he was annoying!!!
2007-04-23 08:54:12 · answer #6 · answered by Mister C 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
3 ducks go into a bar and barman asks who they are 1st duck i"m Huey and i've had a great day in and out of puddles all day 2nd duck i'm duey and i've been in and out of puddles all day too so the barman says to 3rd duck i suppose ur louie ..... no she said im Puddles
2007-04-23 10:02:13 · answer #7 · answered by ronald g 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A baby seal walked into a club.
2007-04-23 09:12:30 · answer #8 · answered by Someone who cares 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's hot in here."
And the other muffin says, "HOLY SH*T A TALKING MUFFIN"
2007-04-23 09:30:48 · answer #9 · answered by strangehappenings 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You hear about the gay midget?
I guess he finally decided to come out of the cupboard!
2007-04-23 08:51:33 · answer #10 · answered by Nathan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋