am i over reacting?

Question

i got with my boyfriend two months ago, he has a kid to his ex they only split up six month ago.
but they text each other all the time, on sat he went into her shop for a chat then we went to the pub and when we got back at 3 in the morning he called her to see how the kid was (ofcourse he was sleeping ) but he went on to ask her if she had went out.
then today he went to her shop again on his lunch break and drove he to mcdonalds.
he says all the right things but im just not sure

Answer 1

Ha! Clearly you are a friend of willomeadow! :-)

Answer 2

Obviously his child should come first, but like everyone says, kids are asleep at 3am.
It's always hard when children are involved, but I don't think that's what's happening here. If they only split up 6 months ago and he started seeing you 4 months after, I'd honestly have to say he jumped into your relationship a little too early. How long where they together for? If it was a long time, this isn't going to be resolved so easily.
You need to sit him down and have a very long talk to him. Tell him how you feel, explain that you understand that he's always going to be there for his child, and to a certain extent, it's mother (this is a good thing, at least he's responsible); but you don't think calling her at silly o'clock in the morning when the child's in bed and visiting her at work when the child obviously isn't there, is the right thing to do.
He may be genuine and just not think he's doing anything wrong, but you do need to know for sure for everyone's sake; no matter how hard it is or whether you're going to split, at least you'll know one way or the other.
Best of luck, Babes, I hope this works out for you.

Answer 3

if hes calling her all drunk at 3am somethings going on, he knows the kids sleeping so whats the point of the phone call? Be careful especially since they do have a child together he's stuck with her for the next 18 yrs of his life. plus they only broke up 6 months ago. Your gonna get hurt here so take it very very slow so u don;t get too attached. P.S. I'm sure he's saying exactly what u wanna hear but u need to be careful! He seems to still be into her.

Answer 4

I understand where you're coming from, but you are also over reacting just a tad little bit.
The kid &ex will always play an important part in his life as she is the mother of his child.
However if you're mind is not at ease its best you had a chat with you're boyfriend to clear any misunderstanding's or doubts you may have,
Let him know how you feel towards the current situation as this is you,re chance to express you're feelings.
Ask him where the relationship is heading from his point of view.

Goodluck

Answer 5

He still has feelings for her. There's no excuse for him calling her at 3am unless there was an emergency with the child and there's no excuse for him texting her constantly. He should not be taking her to lunch either unless they had to discuss important matters about the child. And I doubt if they did. Sure, they should be civil with each other because they have a child together. But I think he is holding on a little too tight to her....a little too close for comfort. I'm sorry but he's disrespecting you.

Answer 6

I dont think that you are over reacting! He could be using his child as a reason to keep in touch with his ex?! He could still have feelings for her especially after having a child together! I would be careful if I were you. You both should deffinately talk things out some more since its bothering you so much just to make sure!

Answer 7

No you are not over reacting. You have the same worries of every other person dealing with a person who has a child from a previous relationship. The fact is they have only been broken up for 6 months and you two have only been seeing each other for 2 months. Hmmm visiting her on her job & taking her to McDonald's dosen't sound kid related to me. People who get involved in these types of relationships have to be prepared that this woman is going to be in his life forever. Are you up for that? Dosen't sound like it. Ask him if he could limit the conversations & contact with her to only things that have to do with their child if he can't then move on. Find some1 without the baggage.

Answer 8

If he just cared about the kids would be one thing, but it sounds like there is more there. At least he is telling you all this, and not hiding it from you. The best thing to do is have him look you in the eye and tell you the truth about what is going on, and maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing and how it is affecting you. And if his answers don't really make sense, I would contact the ex and maybe she will tell you the truth.

Answer 9

I will be the 1st to say kudos to him for being able to have a civil relationship with the mother of his child, but don't be foolish either. My child's father and I are on good terms, but not good enough to were he should be calling me at 3am to check on our child. A call at 3am is a booty call, then the question about the club, means he still clocking her and probably still wants to be with her. The way that I see it is that true he has a child with her, but there shouldn't be much else to talk about unless it is related to the child. He might not be just checking on the baby, he might just be checking in. As far as this goes he is just probably telling you all the things that you want to hear, to see if he can bait you in. It doesn't seem like they are even broken up if you ask me, and there are a lot more guys out here claiming to be single with wives at home. People lie to get what they want, and if you are what he wants, don't fool yourself by thinking you are better than him lying to u. I say ask him flat out, if he wants to be with her, why he calls her so often, he probably says it's the baby, but have you ever seen him get the baby and spend time with the child at his house? or does it seem like he is using the baby like a pawn in a game, to get over to see her? Pay attention to the things he does and says. People tell you there intent and motives, it's all a matter of whether we want to hear it. All the best.

Answer 10

You are crazy to even believe this. If my finace for even a minutes texted his ex then I would be out of the door. If he needed to talk to her he should have just picked up the phone and called her. As far as him checking on him kid at 3am....THAT'S A LIE! The child is sleep for heavens sake!!! AND taking her somewhere FORGET THAT!!! Sounds like something is up with that!

You might as well pack your bags and hit the road....your better than him sweetie! GOOD LUCK (you will need it)

Answer 11

Dont you take any notice of the nasty answers you've got from others on here! They are nasty.
Anyways - you're not over reacting. I have great issues about my boyfriend and his ex - as they have a kid together - and so have to keep in touch. But I always wonder and think how he really feels about her - adn whether he's truely happy with me. He even calls me her name sometimes! And weve been together for nearly 2 years!!!
I dont know what advice i can give you, as i suffer from it myself...but just try and stay strong, and try to trust himm.
You are not daft, and in no way wrong! Good luck! xx