Have you ever asked someone, "Is that your real hair?"?

Question

Black women in general get asked if their hair is real or not, especially if it is hitting their shoulders. So, I want to know if you personally have asked someone that question.

Answer 1

I get asked that myself. I'm half black and filipino so I straighten my hair, they automatically assume its fake b/c my hair goes to the middle of my back. But no I don't ask that b/c it's like asking a girl with a belly if shes pregnant lol. It's very offensive!

Answer 2

Nope, because that is rude and kind of insulting because some people assume just because your black that you can't have long or straight hair naturally. I hate getting asked that question myself so I don't subject other women to it. Besides, black women aren't the only ones who wears hair extensions/weaves.

Answer 3

Never. I can't think of many behaviors more inappropriate or annoying. I have long hair, and for over 20 years, particularly when my hair is in individual braids, I have been asked this a good 1-3 times a day-- usually by people who never met me before.

After someone had to 'go there' AGAIN one day in her college class, my youngest sister had had all she could take. She stood and addressed the all-white class, proclaiming, Would you expect it to be an inoffensive, acceptable question if I asked if your mom's wig was her real hair, and she happened to have just gone through chemotherapy?

Why is there the assumption among so many Whites that every Black person he/she meets is on a level different than that of other humans-- one undeserving of the natural respect and *distance* that comes with natural boundaries. Such a level of familiarity communicates a truly unacceptable level of disrespect.

Do we ask the same question of every White woman we meet? The Whites who so forwardly ask stupid questions of Blacks should at least have the common logic to ask themselves why such others have had the reserve not to do so with them. And does not the fact that nothing about their hair seems to have such a fascinating, simple-minded mystery beg the obvious question: Why in the world do they know absolutely NOTHING about us? Cultural circles are one thing, but for crying out loud, we've lived together for over 300 years on one common piece of dirt. Someone has seriously fallen down on the job of learning (and teaching) about his fellow citizens, and seeing as we know-- and are *expected* to know-- all about them, it's harder to see the default on the side of the citizens of color.

Bottom line: If indeed there were a chance of one's hair being 'fake,' WHY would you ask? And if there were no chance of such, they wouldn't be asking. Actually, because they assume that every Black woman with long hair or braids is 'wigged out,' they DO ask. Either way, the object is a profoundly calloused intention (at worst) or insensitivity (at pitiful best) to produce shame. Is a lame, "I just wanted to know" a valid excuse for asking anyone anything that personal or insensitive? And I don't want to hear one more "Well I knew them personally" excuse. Shame on them for taking advantage of a friendship... and I seriously doubt that any real friendships are involved here-- people actually tend to ask this obnoxious question of acquaintances; I'm only too aware of how this works. A true 'friend' doesn't treat his friends with less consideration and respect than that expected of mere strangers.

Here's another great blog on this issue, with insightful comments: http://www.blackprof.com/archives/2006/08/is_this_your_real_hair.html

Answer 4

I get asked that question all the time because my hair is past my shuoulders too.
I never put too much emphasis on it although i know it can be quite insulting been stopped to be asked if your hair is real.....thats how it just is

;)

Answer 5

I have never asked that question but when I was living in Africa most of the women wore wigs - so I guess it just depends on who is asking. I think it's pretty rude (like asking if you colour your hair)

Answer 6

I haven't asked them but I have silently thought it. Most people who I come into contact can't even tell when I use to have hair extensions (hats off to my beautician! lol). Weaves have gotten so better these days that it's hard to tell the fake from the reals.

Answer 7

Hello! Rudeness!

Answer 8

Yeah but my close homegirls or my family when they havnt had there hair done in a long time!! Its hella rude to ask that to somebody you dont know.

Answer 9

I have not asked, but have been asked and it is very annoying! Why is is anyone's business and what is going on in their personal life that they feel they have to try and embarrass me.

I have asked people, "Is that your real outfit?"

Answer 10

Yes and I tell them it took me awhile to get it this length. I put a lot of work on my hair to get it to look like it does.