I have a 10 month old that will not let me do anything i need help?

Question

My daughter is so clingly i have gone out and bough alot of toys a play pen a sauser and a jummper she does not like to go in anything i need some space i am a single mom and need to put her down every once and a while. She has gotten to the point where she will not let me even take a shower without her in getting in. She does not nap well during the day 10 mins tops. does anyone have any suggestions

Answer 1

I feel for you. I was a single mother for about 2yrs. It was VERY difficult doing double load everyday. But don’t be discouraged girl! Here are some tips for you.

1) Talk to her as if she is an adult – In single-parent households, kids will mature faster than normal. This is because they need to help carry more responsibility than kids that have both parents. Tell her “Mommy really need to do this…this is for our family, for you and me…Mommy is working very hard”. You’ll see results.
2) Let her help – give her some simple task, such as holding the dryer door as you load. My daughter loved helping with chores. It gave her a sense of accomplishment.
3) Cultivate her interest in activities such as reading, coloring, and drawing. Activities such as this help kids grow their imagination and independence. Read to her every night, and sit with her and color pictures. I know it is hard work, but it is amazing how much return you will receive if you invest the time and the effort.
4) Don’t be afraid to show them you are vulnerable, tell her “Mommy needs your help”. Let her know that by giving you space she is actually helping you and the family. This way she won’t feel that she is being rejected or pushed away.

Kids cling to parents because they feel lonely and insecure. Constantly remind her that it’s okay to have space between family members. When you are done with your task, thank her and reward her with special Mother-daughter time. I know the task you have before you is very hard and sometimes it might seem hopeless. But don’t give up! One day, you will be rewarded with a self-assured, independent young lady and a very special bond with her.

Answer 2

Wow, this sounds like me right now. My 10-month old is in a total mommy phase right now, & screams if I leave her with anyone else, daddy included. She's outgrown the exersaucer and jolly jumper now. I take showers very quickly, with her in her rocking chair in the bathroom with me. She cries a little even at that, but I play peak a boo around the shower curtain to keep her from getting too upset. It makes for a pretty short shower though...legs don't always get shaved until the next day, etc. etc. As for naps, she's past that 10-20 minute nap thing now, FINALLY!!! She's actually napping about an hour at a time now, which is SOOO nice!! At last!! I had to start teaching her to be more independant by playing on the floor with her, but not picking her up...then when that was ok for a while, I'd sit further away...then sit in a chair nearby or fold laundry nearby, etc. Now that's ok, so we're working on her playing while I do other chores, in & out of the room, etc. She also started crawling this week, so she's realizing she can actually follow me. This is a relief in that she can amuse herself better now, but it's a worry, since she can get into EVERYTHING now! (And it allows her to be even more clingy...she's pulling herself up on my chair right now going "hi! hi!" so maybe I better make this quick.) But anyways, crawling...I thought I knew what was coming with that, but holy smokes was I wrong...it's pretty incredible what they will get into! So that's all I can say. I know how you feel for sure, it's exhausting! Is she still up at night, too? Mine is...she was sleeping 7 hours, but now lately, she's up every 2-3 hours again...and my hubby doesn't even wake up, nor would she have anything to do with him if he did...all she wants is me. I'm soooooo tired. And my hubby made the foolish mistake the other day of saying "but you can sleep whenever you want to, you've got all day!" HA! He won't say that again!

Answer 3

I am so sorry! My daughter is like this, too. I don't know how you do it, as a single mom. You are going to have to be tough and let her cry a bit.

As for her not napping more than 10 minutes, you need to work on that. Have you tried a swing? You need a break and time for yourself! She should be taking at least one 2-hour nap during the day.

Here's an article that might help

Answer 4

That sounds like how mine was at that stage. I was a single parent then too, and it drove me to tears sometimes.

The good news is: IT WILL PASS. Somehow, they figure out that you'll be there when they need you, and clinging to you starts to get boring, so they give you a bit of a break. :)

I used some lavender aromatherapy stuff (lotion, massage bar, temple balm, whatever you can find) to help naps last longer... it worked for us. I also put her in the baby backpack when I got desperate, so at least my hands were free. And I started doing certain things while sitting on the floor - sorting and folding laundry, even snapping beans for dinner - because at least then she'd sit by me, and not need to be held.

Hang in there!!

Answer 5

This is a hard place for you--you love your daughter and having her scream is TOUGH.

Grab a babysitter. Get her to know the babysitter. Even for a few hours a week, get the babysitter to sit with your daughter while you go out or do chores.

Also, let her cry. She doesn't need you all the time. At this point it's okay to let her settle herself down. At 1 month, it's great to rush to her side. At 10 months, you can start to let her figure things out on her own.

Answer 6

It will be difficult, but try laying her down at nap time, and leaving her in her crib for one hour. She may cry and be terribly unhappy, but eventually she will learn how to comfort herself, and you will have at least an hour each day to have to your self. You are entitled to that. Plus, she is not even one year old yet, a baby needs their rest throug out the day.

Answer 7

Put her in her crib, or play pen and walk away. If she screams she screams. It's not going to hurt her to let her scream for a few minutes while you do what you need to do. If you continue to give into her, she will know she can do it every time. Just try it. It will eventually work. Good luck

Answer 8

She's in control. You need to get it back. She may need to cry it out for a bit. Don't pick her up every time she makes a fuss. Try to distract her and then go about your business. If she has to cry for 10 min. while you to take a shower, it won't kill her...she'll get used to it faster than you think.

Answer 9

did you breastfeed? There could be two reasons, if you breastfed and she needs to be next to you for comfort or you didn't and there could be some trust issues (her thinking you will leave her, like if she goes to daycare) or she could be going thru a phase...or like my son people pick her up alot and you don't notice it... that will really spoil her.