Who should walk me down the aisle??

Question

I just met my dad at age 20 and I am now 23. He is attending the wedding. As a child I always dreamed of one day meeting my dad and him walking me down the aisle. I was actually blessed with the reuniting of me and my father, but now I am having second thoughts. My mother has always been there for me, she is the one who raised me, and the only one who can say that I am what I am because of her. She is also my best friend. I think she is the only one who has the right to give me away, not my father. I wanted both to do it, but I don't want to push it. My mom and dad haven't seen each other in 23 years since he walked out on the family. Please help!!

Answer 1

Your mom raised you- she should give you away. Your dad already gave you away 23 years ago when he walked out on the family.

Answer 2

Use neither. It will look odd to have your Mom give you away when it is traditionally the Dad's job. As for your Dad, it is nice that you reunited with him but he didn't raise you. You don't say whether he wanted it that way or if your Mom did. I think a great idea would be for you to walk down the aisle with the groom. That is what I did because my Dad didn't like the idea of "giving me away" since I would always be his daughter. So, I would suggest that. It looks great. Or you could always walk down the aisle by yourself....however, it looks so much nice to just walk down the aisle with the groom. You both can smile and hold hands. Good luck.

Answer 3

Ok, I kind of have the same problem but a little different...My real dad has not been in my life much at all. I love him and we talk, just not very much...holidays, stuff like that. My mom and step-dad have been there. My step-dad raised me from the age 6. It's only fair to let him, but I also love my real dad enough to consider him. I decided that when I get married, which is not too far away, I want them both to do it except at different times. My real dad walk me the first half like to the aisle and my step dad the rest of the way since he's been there...just something to consider. Pray about it as well.

Answer 4

Quick ... schedule a meeting with your mother and father in a restaurant where they know not to act like fools. Explain your dilemma. Let them know that you want to have them both and where your loyalty lies.

Let your father know that if he were to walk you down the aisle that would solidify his participation in your life in the future. Do not let any more time pass. There might be a lot of anger and resentment. But the wedding day is not the day to air it out.

Then, ask them both to walk you down the aisle. Place them on opposite sides of the wedding party table and tell not to say to much to each other.

Other than that.... Congratulations... Smile you're getting married!!!

Answer 5

Weddings and wedding parties are about who is important and relelvant to you now. If your mother is the one who raised you and your father was not around, she was essentially your mother and father. It is up to you whether you want to follow tradition or make your wedding day about YOU and YOUR sentiments. Your father, having been absent for most of your life, will likely understand if you end up picking your mother to walk you down the aisle. If I were you, I would have mom walk me down the aisle, but retain the father-daughter dance so dad still gets to play some role.

Answer 6

I was in the same boat earlier this year, so I know how you feel. I decided it was best that I walk down the aisle myself! This way it didn't hurt anyones feelings, neither my mom nor my dad. They both attended and were very proud. If you insist on having someone walk you down the aisle, I would have to say your mom. Good luck hun.

Answer 7

Definitely your mother...it is an honor for whom ever to walk you down the aisle to do so. It signifies "giving you away." The person who has always been there for you and raised you should be the one given that priveledge...not your dad who walked out on not only your mom, but YOU.

Answer 8

If you had the sperm donor walk you down the aisle...wouldn't that feel extremely fake? My sister had our uncle give her away...even though our father was at the wedding. He had been involved a bare minimum (b-day cards...christmas visit) so my sister felt our Uncle was the male in her life who was closest to her. Have your mother do it...any brothers? If so, he could walk with you and your mother to be "given away". Best wishes for a wonderful wedding and long and fruitful marriage...Congratulations!

Answer 9

I understand you situations.

My father has been more out of the picture than in since I was 9 years old. I'm sure he would have walked me down the isle, but I wasn't going to ask. My younger brother escorted me.

If you want your mother to escort you, she should do it alone. It would be probably be uncomfortable for both of them to do it together, considering the fact they haven't seen each other in 23 years. You don't want to bring all of those feelings up on your wedding day. You will have enough going on to keep you busy.


If you have an uncle, brother, cousin, grandfather or any other close male relative that was there for you growing up, you could ask him to do the honor. If you would prefer a male to escort you.

Answer 10

You need to talk to your mother about your dream.
And yes, your father was wrong for what he did, and I'm sure there is A LOT of annimosity over it.

What you could do is have Dad start you down the aisel to the halfway point & then have your mother escort you the rest of the way.

Or you could walk the aisle alone eliminiating both. Or you could walk the first half by yourself & meet your finace midway.