I'm getting married May 5th, that's like two weeks away, and more than half the people I have invited have not RSVP'ed. The invites were sent out a month ago and some people have RSVP'ed and others I'm hearing through the great vine. This is chapping my a$$.. We have put out a lot money and have no idea who's coming and who's not! There will be food and alcohol and a head count would be nice! What do I do???
2007-04-23 06:10:39 · 35 answers · asked by Flying w/ scissors 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes, we are down South! This is both mine and his 2nd marriage. We are both 40 years old and this was suppost to be a simple affair and now I'm wishing we just go the the JP...
2007-04-23 08:51:00 · update #1
People are terrible at RSVPing these days. Why not give important people a call and ask them if they are coming. Just be honest and tell them you are trying to get a fairly accurate count for the caterers. :)
Good luck and congrats on the wedding! Don't be stressed out! Make it YOUR day and HAVE FUN!!! :)
2007-04-23 06:15:23 · answer #1 · answered by searching_please 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say but some people are just plain rude, some forget to mail the RSVP cards and some just assume since you invited them there is no need to RSVP as you expect them to show up. On average you are lucky to get 1/2 your cards back.
My friend's daughter got married in December and our daughter's wedding is in September this year.
My friend has been helping me with the unforeseen events that can happen.....Unreturned RSVP cards was one of the top 5.
Here is what happened to them and her advice , hope it helps you as much as it has me.
1) The wedding was small (50) - but 400 were invited to the reception.
75 people showed up for the wedding - surprise
280 of the invited guests showed up for the reception but of those there were over 400 at the reception.- pictures of strangers are plenty expensive.
1/4 sent RSVP cards mainly the people who had other plans and weren't going to attend.
1/4 sent RSVP cards saying 1-2 people would be attending then had no problem bringing dates, relatives or friends (the bride & groom didn't know) and children. There was a lot of wasted food but the bar bill was staggering . On both sides - they lost to make the guests happy.
In hindsight she was able to tell me - always have someone that will call these invited guests at least 10 days before the wedding - see if you can find out not only if they are coming but who else they might be bringing. Don't be surprised if they have no problem bringing prefect strangers to a wedding for a free meal and drinks.
As the mother of the bride in September that job is already mine by default of no one else wanted it.
2007-04-23 06:40:44 · answer #2 · answered by Akkita 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't expect everyone to RSVP; some won't out of laziness, some won't because they're not sure that their schedule will allow them to go or not until the last minute.
Options:
- Send out a reminder letter/email/phone call for RSVPs and update your list.
- Give those who RSVP'ed a special thank you in some token way to show your appreciation.
- Plan food/alcohol for the crowd level you invited; it's always better to have leftovers than too little.
2007-04-23 06:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because they are lazy and incosiderate, I know how you feel. I got married a month ago and tons of folks didnt send theirs in. then like 3 days before the wedding I am talkin to people and they are all , well so and so is coming and so are they and blah blah and I'm trying not to scream because these people couldn't drop a card in the mail? I mean I stamped it and everything! Just bank on a lot more poeple than you have head count for, and as crappy as it is, some people who RSVP yes won't show. You don't happen to live in the south do you? I know down here, most people have finger food receptions instead of a meal so people don't think they have to. I did a meal and it was so much harder to figure out because nobody thought it was important to be considerate of us! long story short, I don't know of much to help, but good luck with it!
2007-04-23 07:53:17 · answer #4 · answered by ASH 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, congratulations on your wedding first of all... When I got married last year I had the same problem. Two and a half weeks before the wedding, and three weeks beyond the RSVP date. I was in the same situation. Five people had RSVP'd. I was hysterical. Have a respected member of your immediate family (Father, Mother) call these people to see if they are coming. I'll betcha they all say "Of course we're coming! We wouldn't miss it". They just don't take RSVPing seriously. They ASSUME that you know that they are going to be there, even though it doesn't make any sense to you and me. I know how stressful it can be, but try to have fun. It's your day! Good luck, and congratulations!
2007-04-23 06:24:59 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Mustang 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the exact same problem at my wedding last September. We had at least 45 people that hadn't responded and we were having a plated dinner so if you didn't respond you didn't get to eat!
So I split up the non-responders by family and gave my mom a list of people from my family and my husband's mom a list from his family. They had to call all the people who didn't respond and found there were plenty that planned on coming, but would have had no food!
So if you really need to know an exact (or close to) number you're going to have to call people and ask if they're coming. I know how you feel and it's a little irritating that people don't understand what an RSVP is! Good luck!
2007-04-23 07:51:27 · answer #6 · answered by Lucycat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is actually almost ALWAYS a problem with weddings. When you send out the invitation, it should have an RSVP deadline on it - and then the day after that deadline, time should be set aside to call everyone who didn't RSVP so you can get a correct head count.
2007-04-23 07:23:59 · answer #7 · answered by Chrys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly acceptable to call those who you have not heard from yet. Simply tell them that you need a head count for your caterer and reception venue. No one will be offended, but frankly it sucks how little manners people have these days. A response to a wedding invitation is just common courtesy. No response does not count as a regret either! I wish you good luck with this and the rest of your plans. Congrats!
2007-04-23 06:21:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I agree totally with you. I have a business and I know what you mean, barely anyone RRVPs anymore. Its not the in thing to do, I guess. Its really annoying. Plus you think people would have common sense to let you know what is going on, as for your costs and such. Since your hearing though the grapevine, about it, then starting letting people know that for if they want enough food and alcohol, they should be RSVP!! Ps- my sister in law getting married that day, too.. have fun and congratulations May God Bless your marriage:)
2007-04-23 06:20:14 · answer #9 · answered by Denise K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not know why people have to be so rude. They dont even have to pay for a stamp since they are already on there. Unfortunatley some people assume you know they are coming, this happend with my engagement party. I actually had other family members contact at least 30 people who didnt respond. It s reall a pain in the *** having to contact evreyone that didnt respond, but its better than them just showing up. Maybe have your MOH help you by calling and emailing those who dont have the common courtesy to respond. Good luck and hope all works out!
2007-04-23 06:18:13 · answer #10 · answered by SO In LOVE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋