It's really starting to hurt my feelings. It's not like we're teenagers and need thier permission, he just doesn't want to tell them. What do you think I should do?
2007-04-23 05:50:51 · 30 answers · asked by Old Gregg 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well first off Congratulations! I am also getting married July 4th but next year 08. What could be the reasons he dosent want to tell them besides,I dont feel like it? Thats not right of him not to tell his parents, he should be just as excited as you are to tell them. Tell him you will tell them with him, then and see what he says? The next time you are at the house just say we finally picked a date, and tell them yourself? It sounds really silly to me that he would not want to tell them? Does he get along with his parents? Well good luck!
2007-04-23 05:58:04 · answer #1 · answered by SO In LOVE 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In MY experience... the only thing that would motivate a man who is, a) divorced from one woman, and b) engaged to another woman, to give THAT much money (if ANY) to an ex is that he's still involved with her. (sex is a powerful motivator) Do they have children? If so, is he already paying child support? That's all his obligation should be. I don't find his actions admirable at all, I think he's being a weiner. You say he's a wonderful man... he's NO man, honey... NOT if this is how he's treating you! How long ago did they get divorced? Even if it's real recent, if it's not court ordered and/or his name is NOT on the deed of the house, then she should be getting herself out of her own jams, PERIOD... she is not HIS resposibility anymore... his responsibilities lie with YOU and your future together, and NOT with his past. How long have you two been together?? I'd be curious to know that as well. Maybe you are jumping into marriage too quickly. I'd rethink this whole thing if I were you... Sorry, this is a bummer situation, to the max... EDIT: Well, my answer still stands. If he made his financial obligation where the child is concerned, then that's all it should be. If she spent the money on a home that she can't afford, that's HER problem, not HIS. I personally would not put up with this *sshole.... dump him NOW. If she lives in a different state, then more than likely he's not having an affair, but he still wants his cake and to eat it too... he likes the idea that she's endebted to him. If he wants to be her savior, then let him... kick him to the curb. Did he leave her, or did she leave him?? If she left him, maybe he still has feelings for her and thinks that she'll eventually say "oh yes, you're so wonderful, how could I have been so foolish? come back to me, please!" and then where will YOU be, dear?? Think about that one, please... 2ND EDIT: In response to Nikki's answer... if he is only doing it to make sure his child has a roof over his head, then yes, that is important. I agree. However, things can be done about that... if she can't afford to raise the child, he could get custody of him/her. I also agree that maybe talking to him about talking to his ex about selling the house and getting something she can afford would be a wise thing to do. Either way, his way of doing things is not right by you, his future. I understand wanting to make sure his kid is taken care of, but this is ridiculous!!! Talk to him and don't wait!!!
2016-05-17 05:46:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar problem with my fiance. He was afraid that telling his dad was like an automatic "Will you help pay" and his dad looks down on "asking for handouts". Ultimately, he was afraid of any sort of misunderstanding. You should find out why your fiance doesn't want to tell them. You need to be getting invites out soon, so if he is wanting them to come they will have to find out soon. Does he have some sort of bad relationship with them? Is he afraid that they won't approve? Is it a simialr situation to mine? Don't automatically look at it as a bad sign, but I'd be concerned a little. Just talk it over with him. If he still wont tell them, then tell him "fine, but they wont be at the wedding." That's really all you can do at that point.
2007-04-23 05:59:33 · answer #3 · answered by Mommy to Boys 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
To be honest, you may need to question his love for you. Because if you are not teenager and he really loves you than what it the problem. I kinda went thru the same problem, but my husband loved me and he did not care what his parents thought. Til this day his mother is not speaking to him and she claim she did not have a son. Love conquers all if you are a good woman than there should be nothing stopping him from telling his parents. It's you he wants to spend the rest of his life with not his parents who cares what they think. So just re-evaluate your relationship, before you make that big step. A love one should never be kept in the closet.
2007-04-23 05:58:46 · answer #4 · answered by Chantel V 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down and talk with him about it. Tell him that by him not telling his parents shows that he likes to hide things from people. And that you want your marriage to start out GUILT free and with everything in the open. And if he refuses to tell his parents still, ask for a detailed explanation why. If this doens't make sense or he doesn't give a explanation, tell him that you need to think whether you want to marry someone who can't be truthful.
2007-04-23 06:16:45 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to become a man finally and stand up "in pride" and announce your upcoming marriage. Sorry to sound rude, but if his balls haven't dropped where his parents are concerned yet, then they may never and you'll have a momma's boy who won't be by your side when his parents come a-knocking. Are you sure you want to marry a coward? Again, I don't mean to sound rude or harsh, but if you two are not teens, then it's time for him to buck up and admit to this and be proud of you as his soon-to-be bride and his love / your love of eachother.
2007-04-23 06:02:27 · answer #6 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
explain to him if he doesnt feel comfortable enough to tell his loved ones maybe hes not ready to get married. or maybe his parents have something against you. your wedding seems to be coming up pretty soon. if it we up to me. i would tell his parents in private or infront of him. but i understand why you would feel hurt, i would too. confront him. you also cant let a little thing like this, get into your way either. but if he really loves you, he would care what his parents would say. and still marry you. good luck and god bless.
2007-04-23 05:58:07 · answer #7 · answered by brens 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
creepy. i wouldn't do it. he's a jerk if he can't tell his own parents this close to the wedding. if it was a year ago, that would be one thing, but we're talking a couple of months. call it off until he gets some balls. and if he never does, drop him. you don't need that; it's disrespectful and will only get worse. imagine the hell his parents will put you both thru, for one thing, if they don't find out till the last second, or after!
2007-04-23 05:59:12 · answer #8 · answered by KJC 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Call off the wedding. That's a *huge* warning sign! There's some reason he doesn't want to tell them, and that needs to be resolved before you make a lifetime commitment.
Ask yourself this: What else hasn't he told them?
2007-04-23 05:59:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
That's very strange. You should definitely talk to him about his reasoning for not wanting to. Does he have a poor relationship with his family? Is he worried they won't approve? This is the most important day of his life, and the fact that he's unwilling to share that with his fmaily raises some serious red flags.
2007-04-23 05:57:48 · answer #10 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋