What is with my daughter? Where does she find these loser boyfriends?

Question

She has literally found the biggest skanks she can attract in a little town population 2500. She was just dumped by a 26 yr old man who now is in jail for providing alcohol to minors.
She has been disappearing all nite for the last 3 days and when I got up this morning, she had a 4 yr old named Lindsey in my living room. She is babysitting for another skank boyfriend who has a child. He was just in the local news for beating up this childs mother. He was charged with aggrivated battery, and my daughter tells me this little girls mother dont want her and he is raising her alone. What a crock!!!
Its not that my daughter is ugly,fat, slow or poor.
She is a beautiful girl with long blonde hair, very petite and could do soooo much better. I feel like I just need her to get out and stay away from me because I cannot handle watching this. It upsets me.
What is with her? Why does she keep picking up the trashiest men in the area?

Answer 1

I don't understand it either, but I do have a few conclusions from my personal observations, First, there are several types of girls who do this...and it doesn't matter the education or age level.

Some don't feel that they deserve someone who will treat them better, so they just settle for the first guy that happens along. Once this starts happening, more decent men tend to keep their distance, not wanting the drama that comes with this type of personality.

Some enjoy the "bad boy" image, and the adrenalin rush of doing something that is frowned upon by society, yet still legal. There has always been a certain attraction to the more extreme members of society. Somehow, they always assume that they are different than the other women in the guys life...who are after all, just stupid victims...not special like they are. These women are in for a lot of disappointment.

And, there are those who learn this behavior from their role models. They are brought up to believe that whatever the man wants is good and important, and if they do not agree, or do not benefit, then it is somehow their fault, and they deserve what they get.

As far as how to get out of the pattern...I think that the woman has to start valuing herself above other's wishes. She basically has to start believing that she deserves the best man in the world, and will no longer settle for less.

Unfortunately, from what I have seen, this sort of determination rarely develops unless the woman hits bottom, and realizes that she must either change her ways, or die. Nothing else seems to get the commitment needed to make this attitude change stick. That is why we see the papers full of abused women who are beaten to a pulp after taking the same guy back 4 times...they still lack commitment to change.

Then again, there are others whom are seen in the news who end up shooting their abusers in the middle of the night...some even get off, but it has to be a traumatic event none the less.

Answer 2

Her self worth is very low. That happens to kids with overcritical parents who never say anything good about them.