How do I encourage a friend to get her son tested for ADHD?

Question

I am the leader of our church's Children's program. One of our children, I believe, has ADHD. I am not a physician, but this childs behavior and lack of control is so far beyond anything that any other child ever exhibits. Wild with no focus. Once in a while he will participate well. Most often he has to have an adult sitting right next to him. And even then it doesn't prevent a 'breakdown' of sorts. We have to go fetch his parents almost every Sunday because he is so disruptive. When they enter the room, it STILL doesn't phase him into appropriate behavior. They end up taking him outside to walk it out. This usually takes an hour.
His mother believes they are a perfect family. That her son is 'gifted', 'precocious' and no one understands him. She believes that if her son isn't succeeding in an organized environment, it is the programs fault...not her son. Hence they are switching schools for the 2nd time in 2 years. How do I convince her to consider testing him for ADHD?

Answer 1

I agree with Barbara, in one aspect. I don't think you should tell the Mom to have him checked, because she most likely already knows. That being said (Barbara) it isn't fair to other kids, or teachers to have a continually disruptive child in class just because the parents don't want to find a solution or "label" their child. Maybe these parents should consider home schooling (or in this case, a home based bible study.) Anyhow, I think maybe you should just nicely tell the parents that one of them, or another adult (a nanny, grandparent, aunt etc.) will have to attend classes with their son, because it has reached a point where you are spending an unfair amount of time on their son, at the expense of the other children in the class. Good luck!

Answer 2

YOU can't, he is not YOUR child. And for all you know he may not have ADHD. It could be lack of parenting skills on the part of his parents, he COULD simply be overly spoiled. Or there COULD be a hundred other reasons for this child's behavior. There could be a medical problem they don't wish the rest of the community to know about. Or the mother just might be right. You said it yourself, you are NOT a physician, and only a physican can diagnose ADHD, I am wondering if you are even a credentialed teacher/child care provider? As leader of your church's children's program that doesn't give you much credibility when it comes to diagnosing ADHD

Answer 3

every child is different some are very difficult --medicine is not the answer. Kids are too young to have to endure medicine because an adult doesn't want to deal with them. Try to find a way of changing his behavior that doesn't involve drugs!
I believe that the answer above me is great ask his parent to stay and help him!

Answer 4

You can't. It sounds to me like maybe the schools have tried and that is why they keep changing schools. Your only real alternative is to tell them he can't come back to the children's program until he learns to behave. You hate to do that at a church, but the other kids deserve to be able to participate without everything being disrupted by one child. I would first tell her that he can only come if one of his parents accompanies him. Don't give them the option of dropping him off, it's not fair for you to have to send someone to fetch them every week. If one of his parents can't come with him then he's not allowed to stay. It sounds harsh, but there is a lot of scripture in the Bible about being obedient, respecting authority, etc. He needs to learn to do that.

Answer 5

Well, it may be ADHD or even autism. Regardless, you cannot encourage someone to do something if they are in denial. As a parent, we all want to believe that something considered negative is not attached to one of our children. I think that it might be offensive to the parent if you suggest there is something wrong with their child. It is probably something that they are going to have to come to terms with on their own and then take action.

Answer 6

You can not and should not try to, I have a son who is very difficult, yes he is probaly ADHD, I though, do not want him to be labled for the rest of his life, put on medicine that knocks him out and doesn't let him function. My sister-in-law had her daughter tested, but didn't want her on meds, but guess what, the school found out she was ADHD and told my sister-in-law that the child either be put on meds or would have to be moved to a "special" class. Some parents like myself just dont want to opt the easy way out and put their children on medicine unless absoulutly necessary. You should be happy that this woman doesn't want to go along with scoiety these days and medicate every child who misbehaves. I think that it wonderful and although your concern is legitimate, it is her choice and I think she is making the right choice.

Answer 7

would not sound proper to me, both. is this a public college? it truly is against the law for a college to point you medicate your son for a attending to understand disability. it truly is the *well-being care service* who might want to be getting open get admission to to information from the *college*, so the well-being care service can make a diagnosis. once the diagnosis is made, you or the well-being care service can talk that to the school alongside with the well-being care service's ideas. in case you and the well-being care service come to a decision that the perfect plan of action is to medicate your son, you are able to then talk that as well (because it truly is something the school nurse might want to comprehend). yet there's no desire for the school to have open get admission to to all of your son's medical archives.

Answer 8

I truly beleive that ADHD is misdiagnosed most of the time. It sounds like bad parenting to me. Why should she drug her son up when it just sounds like he is rebeling against the daily structure of school because he does not have any structure at home.

Answer 9

ADHD IS A JOKE! it is a fake "condition" that people like you use as an exeuse for bad behaviour. that kid needs discipline, thats all.

Answer 10

It appears you're as ignorant as teachers and doctors!
You change a child's behavior with diet - NOT DRUGS!!!
NO JUNK FOOD AND NO SWEETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!